Lily sneezes. baby sneezes are the best. Halloween Oreo's- they are the only ones I allow myself to buy. Fall, everything Fall. The colors, the smells, the tastes, the weather bring it on Fall! Motown station on Pandora. It is the best for packing and cleaning. Packing... wait, I don't love packing but the reason I am packing. Weight Watchers! Hello, Two Year Anniversary! Dr. Pepper. counterintuitive to aforementioned love, but it keeps me going at work! Moving to San Diego in X# of days! eeeeee! The secret I am having to keep. sooo hard, but so worth it. Someone is about to turn One! Liiiiiiily! Football and beer. No better way to spend a sunday with my best friend. Dinner dates with Tori. Family dinners. about to become the norm. Emailing back and forth with a good friend. talking about you, Megan! and of course, I love love.
|Credit: Sometimes Sweet Journal Day ****|
Sometimes Sweet is one of my daily reads
I love when she does Journal Days because they give people more of a focus and purpose to write.
I find myself embarassed on Tattoo Tuesdays because I am one of those people that always admires others tattoos and want to talk about them even though I don't have any of my own.
I admire her positive and supportive attitude.
She has an adorable family whom she is so proud of.
This will be the first Journal Day I have participated in but it is one that resonates with me.
Journal Day V4.
Looking at all of the life you've lived so far, can you pinpoint one time frame or instance that you feel truly contributed to your growth as a person? This may be a turning point, a positive or negative experience, a moment or collection of moments that stand out in your mind...something that changed you as a whole.
I have been blessed with an amazing family.
We have always been closer than most.
I catch my parents slow dancing in the kitchen on a regular basis.
My brother and I, are best friends granted this is more after we both became adults and moved out of our parents house.
My sister and I work(ed) in a 9x9 office five days a week for six years
I didn't realize that my family lifestyle wasn't the norm until the last few years.
|Left to Right: Sister&Husband, Momma and Papa, Brother&I|
1. My momma being diagnosed with breast cancer
2. Having my heart broken after a four+ year relationship
Though they happened a couple years a part, I realize now, one event would be setting me up for the other.
You see, when my mom was diagnosed, our world shattered to pieces. Mom's are the glue to every family, especially mine. Being threatened to have this person taken from your life, is really hard. When you can't do anything to make someone better, it is really hard. When you are the baby of the family and you become your momma's emergency contact on her medical forms, it is really hard. Still to this day, I don't how she did it with a smile on her face and love in her heart.
As devastating as this time was for my family, we were beyond blessed by it. As I mentioned before, my family has always been close but now we were a fighting unit. We were going through this journey like the world champion side of Red Rover. Red rover, Red rover send cancer right over because we are going to kick. its. ass.
Fast forward two years: I am in my last few weeks of college. I have been dating a handsome boy for just over four years and though we had our not so happy times, things were always good. We were madly in love. He was my best friend. He was my support when my mom was diagnosed. He was my movie buddy, my dinner date, my snuggler and snowboarding teacher. He wasn't a planner, never could be on time, spontaneous. He was everything I wasn't. We evened each other out.
I couldn't remember life before him, and I didn't want to know what life would be like after him. We had our differences: I grew up in a Christian home, he was a steadfast Atheist. I enjoyed an adult beverage here and there, he didn't drink- at all. I was a preppy lil blonde girl who had a thing for the bad boys; he was a bad boy with the softest heart covered in tattoos, gauges and piercings with a thing for blondes. He was raised in the Bay area by his beautiful Momma, I grew up in Chandler Arizona. I have dreamed of getting married, having 2.5 kids; he hadn't seen a marriage work and didn't have any plans to marry. It never should've worked or really even happen. I had started re-hanging out with an old friend who was driving to San Diego for a BMX competition. He had just moved to Arizona and was forced to go on the road trip, since his roommate was going as well. And the rest was history. I have always believed and trusted in love. I knew we loved each other, and though these differences made certains areas of our relationship more difficult, more diverse, love was all we needed.
Then it happened. He was done. I wasn't everything he needed me to be. I wasn't who he wanted. I was crushed. but a little relieved. it was like 98% crushed/2% relieved mind you. We had had talks before, but I always fought it. I always said I would change. I would be better. I didn't want to lose what we had. But something changed this time. That relief I felt, it was my small chance to get the life I dreamt about. To have someone who wanted to be a better man because of me. Wanted to make me his wife, not his permanent girlfriend. Invested in my friends and hobbies... This time, I fought it a little bit. I told him things would be different, we could work on it. We went to dinner and things seemed like they did everytime we had one of these serious conversations. But the next morning, he was gone. The person I loved turned into someone I didn't know. But so was I, I didn't fight it like I always had. I was losing my best friend. The person who knew me better than most anyone. This time, I knew I needed to let it go for me.
The next few
Its been over a year since 'The Break-up' and it was one of the best and hardest things that has happened to me. Sure, I miss him. I miss what we had. But the person I am now, was worth it. I am so much stronger than I was. I know myself better now than before. I have invested in my own hobbies and friends, instead of compromising to accomodate someone elses lifestyle. I have found my voice, to speak up for my hopes, desires and dreams. I have learned my non-negotiables. I learned a lot from that relationship and break up, which is making me better for my future. I know too much about myself now to let go back. Please don't get me wrong, he is a great guy just not my great guy. I look back on our memories with a smile on my face, and warmth in my heart because I can see my growth. There are so many positive things that came from that negative time. I am blessed by those struggles.
It has been almost four years since Bev's Boobie Brigade was formed and though it was a really challenging time in all of our lives we wouldn't change it. My mom is healthy, our family is closer than ever, and we were able to share our faith, lean on the Lord and not be another statistic. I learned how important family is, how strong blood can be. We don't take each other for granted like we once did. We make time for each other as often as we can. I am a part of something greater than myself, a family unit others would love to be in.
I have been changed as a whole in the last four years. My heart is not the same heart I had before but as great as all of these new changes in me have been, what sticks out most is how incredible my family is. My family has changed as a whole, and it is something beautiful to be a part of. Through it all, thick and thin. Whether it be cancer or a break up... we are the world champion side of Red Rover. We stand strong in our faith, we stand strong in our family, nothing can break the chain we have been made into.
I don't want to just ramble on and on, though sometimes that helps
Really, I am my own audience.
What I say here is because it is on my heart and mind
It needs to come out, so this is my little place to do so.
Well right now, I have either too much or nothing on my heart and mind.
I am pretty sure its the first of these two options
I can't seem to form a sentence, choose an idea or topic to write about.
There are a lot of things which are changing in these next few weeks.
Part of me is questioning if this is what God wants or what I want.
I want to feel God in my choices, decisions
I trust Him
But right now, I am being my own devils advocate.
I am stressed, worried, still feeling sad and hurt...
I am excited, overwhelmed, blessed and hopeful for what is to come.
I am basically a big ball of all kinds of emotions.
Not sure if I want to cry or laugh.
So I am just going to breathe and smile.
and probably binge eat on some halloween oreos
This weekend I was blessed to help surprise my best friend. You see, she's from the burbs outside of Chicago. All her family is back home and they are all very close! Well her cousin contacted me on facebook to see if I could assist in revealing to my best friend that she (the cousin) was pregnant!! It was so hard keeping the secret! I love surprises so it was well worth it! I was able to get sprinkles cupcakes with little baby bottles on top, get the bfs cousin on skype, and trick the bf into looking at my computer only to see her cousin staring back! We didn't have much time to plan it out perfectly but it turned out wonderfully!
It was really wonderful to see that even with the distance you can still be a part of special things! I was blessed to be a part of their celebration this weekend!
What happened to you that is as good as getting flowers on a tuesday?
|because he will always be my first true love! Father Daughter dance recital!|
Since I missed my Things I love:Thursday post yesterday. And I really want to try to stay with my Friday Links I love; I'm going to do a Mash up on both!
Things I love: Lily has my entire family wrapped around her little finger. At any time you will find my dad on his hands and knees to chase her around, my mom creating a lily-mobile out of an old costco box, blankets and pillows to drag her around the house. She's got us all. Driving into work after a night of rain. The valley is clear, you can see as far as the eye can see, its really beautiful. Mountains. This summer I was fortunate enough to spend some time in Oregon and Northern California, for a girl who has lived in Arizona all her life, I didn't know I was missing out on so much beauty in the mountains. Clouds. I have a weird obsession with them. They are just so beautiful. once again, my Kindle. She is awesome. Spending time with old friends. Fills my heart up. Cleaning and Organizing. as much as I don't like the actual act of it, the end result is glorious. 30% off codes to my favorite store. love frannies! Secrets. I am soo bad at keeping them, but I love them! I have two secret I have to keep right now! eeeee! San Diego. I love being there and I can not believe I am moving there! insert big bag of mixed emotions here. Bon Iver. saw them and it was uh-mazing. and of course, I love love.
Friday Links I love:*
I thought this article on one of my favorite sites was good, I mean really good.
Another place I want to add to my growing travel list. Salzburg, Austria. Yes Please!
I have found a few quotes I really enjoyed this week: Here is one of them. Do you believe?
Yummmmm.... Definitely want to try this out!
Because I have a new love... What books are must reads??
*Sorry this was a weak attempt to a Frinks update...
But I am trying to use it wisely. I have been able to get together with an array of different friends these last few weeks for dinners, coffee dates, froyo catch up sessions, which has filled my heart up. I realize when I move, I will not have old friends from high school to just go catch up with. Or friends from college to dream with. I don't want to take for granted these next few weeks I have with those people in my life.
I move out of my apartment next weekend, which is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I love my little place. It has been the first apartment that has felt like a home to me, and its been my home. It also, could be the last time I ever live by myself. I truly value the alone time and my own space which makes it even harder to think I will be losing that.
I used this analogy about packing up my apartment with my best friend last night, I feel like I am writing a paper. I know when it is due, and I can either wait until the last minute and stress out to get it done, or take my time weeks before so it is ready when its due. Well, I took the first approach to cleaning out my apartment and I am feeling really overwhelmed by it all. I know it will all get done by next week because it has to but it just is a lot to take on.
It got me thinking, do we all have a little hoarder inside of us? Thankfully most of us can control it and manage it. I couldn't imagine the feelings of someone who truly struggles with being a Hoarder. Which seriously breaks my heart. I spent hours cleaning out the boxes that were under my bed. It felt pointless because at first glance nothing had changed. I don't even see those boxes on a monthly basis basically I moved them from one apartment to the next for the last six years, yet they were full of years and years of my life, in 8 menacing boxes.
It was the sentimental stuff, so here came the long walk down memory lane. What are you supposed to do with all the cards, pictures and knick knacks you've collected throughout the years? Do they really hold any significant value other than providing nostalgia later on in life? Do you take those boxes full of your yester years with you from place to place adding to them at each new home, friend, significant other? Do you carry your past around covered in dust because you never look back at it, but you want it there in case you want too?
I decided, no... there isn't any value to them. I am guilty of spending too much time thinking back. I don't really need all these little reminders to actually look back through it all. So I decided, it needed to go. It wasn't coming with me on this next adventure in life. Only the necessities, only the things and people who really matter can come along on this journey. So, I took the approach that if it wasn't someone I care deeply about and still see in my life it wasn't getting a special spot under my dreaming place. I spent my time, going through each card some dating back to 2001, looking through each picture, trying to remember where this or that knick knack came from. I did find a little red lady bug my Nanny painted for me. and it made it into my box.
The end result: while I hung out with the New Girl, got a little Revenge, got caught up on current events, then complained with Frank and Marie and reminisced over a beer with Charlie, I condensed my 8 different boxes under my bed to just one box! And it feels good. Real good. I felt guilty for getting rid of things people wrote me, memories of that random french fry picture that was so important at the time but now I have no idea why I would take a picture of it, or that teddy bear I had to hold on to but now I can't remember who gave it to be. Ok I didn't really feel bad getting rid of those disposable pictures that meant nothing and I had to have doubles of as a kid.
I had to get rid of the old clutter, to let the new clutter in! It really is a never ending cycle, and I am sure I will do this more times than I care to know in the rest of my life. But, I am happy with the one box I kept that has pictures from my childhood, the few knick knacks I couldn't let go of, Mom, I save my D.A.R.E. certificate from 6th grade for you, my favorite ballerina book from when I started dance. I kept the things that really meant something to me, I am giving myself one box of my past to drag around with me, because I have boxes and boxes of memories stored up in my heart that really matter.
|I want that to be me! |
What am I doing today, that will make me proud next year?
Where have you been my whole life? I know you were invented in the last few years, so really where have you been during my twenties? You are sleek, cute (Hey, Hot Pink cover!) you travel with ease- in my purse, in my carry-on bag we can always be together. You keep me company when I am lonely. I can wrap my arms around you. You are entertainment, always listen, and keep me busy. I guess I am just saying, thank you for coming into my life. I really enjoy the time we have spent together. Here is to a long journey through the literary world.
My last one before I move... weird
And had two surprises waiting for me
My sister in law's sister Kelsey came down from Pasadena
And my brother and sister in law surprised me with tickets to see
I am indifferent to seeing concerts
I love music just like everyone else
but not as much as my siblings do
It moves the soul, it makes me want to dance
I think thats why concerts are so hard for me to go to
I just wanna dance around the aisle
This concert was amazing
All the different instruments, talent
It was a blast and I am so glad I was able to go!
I wish I could find some footage from the concert we went too
just so you could see the nine member band performing together
You should definitely go see Bon Iver if they are in your city!
Its a short list. as I am jetting off on an adventure this weekend!
You could be happy:
Did you know your state had a motto? I didn’t… But look at these red, white and blue renditions which one is your state?
Loved this! Don’t waste the wait
Maybe if we eat chili, wear sweaters, and drink hot cocoa-fall will just join us! can't wait to try this recipe and the corn casserole!
Just because i love this girl!
Happy weekend loves.
Remember always choose love
Lily says 'wuv, wuv, wuv' and her auntie melts everytime I hear her! My favorite motto, coming out of my favorite little girl! Diamond earrings for a 25th Birthday Celebration! They (my parents) went to Jared's... they went to Jared's?! Getting a cold Ok, I don't love this but I got to lay in bed and read and sleep! Having happy hour with my girls Only five more weeks of these One word... KINDLE... who knew this thing would be soooo amazing! I am downloading books like crazy! Lillies- stargazers to be exact Best. Flowers. Ever. SONIC runs. If you know the Klingaman's, you know we love SONIC! Sending out cards. I love cards. I am thankful for all the blessings in my life. ohh and I love love!
It might be weird, but I love to read and find new blogs
And a lot of the blogs I read, and find are Mommy Blogs.
I am no where near being a mommy
But I enjoy reading them nonetheless...
I found this little survey on one of my go-to blogs
She is beautiful, whimsical, her photography is superb
She is a fellow redhead, and her name is Katie
Maybe she is me in the future... no, no but she does seem like such a delight!
So here are some of the ABCs about Me:
B. Bed size: Queen, and I try to take up the whole thing when I sleep
C. Chore that you hate: dishes, I absolutely loathe unloading the dishwasher
D. Dogs: I have never had a dog (insert sympathy noises here)
E. Essential start to your day: coffee with the morning weather report... though it never changes in AZ- hot, hotter, hottest
F. Favorite color: favorite color is green. but favorite color to wear is coral and turquoise
G. Gold or Silver: Silver is my go to metal, though the gold around my new diamond earrings is pretty!
H. Height: 5'4" on a good day
I. Instruments you play: I played the piano and clarinet when I was little- I wish I would have stuck with piano
J. Job title: Office administrative assistant
K. Kids: Don't have any at this time, but I can't wait to be a momma
L. Live: Middle of a Desert for five more weeks... then Sunny Southern Cali!
M. Mother’s name: Beverly Bee <3
N. Nicknames: so many nicknames Bug, Biffle, Bif, Katie, Poopie, Sister, K... the list could go on and on
O. Overnight hospital stays: I had to stay the night when I had an emergency appendectomy in February
P. Pet peeves: hmmm... people who don't use blinkers, the noise the bathroom fan makes, and people who always have to be right, or always correct people.
Q. Quote from a movie: "Bark twice if you are in Milwaukee", "Baxter, you know I don't speak spanish" "I love lamp." basically anything Anchorman, or "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her"- Notting Hill.
R. Right or left handed: righty tighty
S. Siblings: Sissy and Bubba, both older
U. Underwear: do I have too? 7 for $25 at VS pretty much rules except that they need to have more S on order
V. Vegetable you hate: raw broccoli is at the top of my 'Vegetables I hate to eat list'
W. What makes you run late: sleep usually or other people. I try really hard to always be on time!
X. X-Rays you’ve had: I have had MRIs on my head for headaches, on my abdomen for my appendix, and a quad accident I was in
Y. Yummy food that you make: I make some mean mac n cheese casserole, mahi mahi tacos, and burritos... or so I have been told!
Z. Zoo animal: I am not really an animal person... is that wrong?
It was really special, and my mom did it all!
She is wonderful at loving people how they feel loved the most
I could not be more blessed by the parents, family and friends that I have!
I hope I have inherited the skills in making other people feel special
And it rain today! But, I am sick with a cold
I am the biggest baby when I don't feel well...
This is a short one, but I am beyond grateful for the special time I had with my family and friends for this birthday celebration!
As my time winds down here in Arizona, it gets harder and harder to believe I am about to make a really big change in my life.
But I am excited. terrified. but excited!
No matter how many years will come and go
That morning, will always be like it was yesterday.
It has been 10 years
And I remember it like it was yesterday.
Everyone has a story, everyone has some kind of connection
Some people only reflect on this world altering event when September rolls around
Some people wake up everyday with its scars
Some people will never be the same because of it
No one is the same because of it...
This last week, with the ten year memorial coming people's stories are getting heard.
I want to remember, life is bigger than the small everyday inconveniences of life
These stories remind me to be grateful for life. remind me to be thankful for friends and family. and that the true small things matter
These are just a handful I came across, so many more voices to be heard.
So many amazing stories that come from such a tragedy.
Story Corps- They would like to tell one story for every person lost in the 9/11 Terror Attacks.
Here are just a few of them:
John and Joe.
She was the one.
Always a Family.
This is a moment in time, we will never forget. My kids will learn about this day and ask me where I was, and I will always remember...
Well we all know I love lists.
I have made inspiration lists, adventure lists this last year
This one kind of is the same thing
It is 25 things I want to do when I am 25...
I wanted to make them challenging, but realistic.
Financially possible, but outside my box.
Stimulating, but adventurous and meaningful.
I wanted to make them me, but help develop my passions, likes and desires.
Here are 25 things to do and see when I am 25...
If there is something you'd like to help me with, I would love to have you along for the adventure
- Read at least 12 books- one a month
a. Pride and Prejudice, must be one of those.
- Move to San Diego
- Volunteer at a hospital
- Go on a date. by myself.
- Invest in a hobby
- Go to a NFL game
- Run a 5k.
- Watch “Gone with the Wind”
- Join a small group/book club
- Go salsa dancing
- Take a day off to go on an adventure
- Watch every season of HIMYM
- Visit a friend in a different city/or state
- Try ‘The Bar Method’ work out
- Throw a themed dinner party
- Visit the Monterey Aquarium
- Write a letter to my former self
- Make bread from scratch
- Visit the Golden Gate Bridge
- Write a business plan for a business idea
- Create a new tradition
- Learn how to shoot a gun
- Try Bikram or Hot Yoga
- Come up with a personal Motto
- Learn how to sew.
I am going to put it up on the side of my blog so there are always visible and a constant reminder! I hope to tell you about each of them that I accomplish!
Would you want to make a list of things you'd like to do this year? What types of adventures do you want to cross off your list?
Priscilla has been my best friend since we had the loudest voices on the rec field at church camp. Since that moment we have shared our fears, our excitement, heartbreak, love together. We have wrapped ourselves in tin foil, painted our faces with lipstick and covered ourselves head to toe in plaid. We have gotten married (Her and her sweeter than pie Husband did, I was just the third wheel!) Dreamed big Dreams together. We are kindred spirits. God made Priscilla and I unique, but He specifically crossed our paths 10 years ago. Never have we lived in the same city, but our love for the Lord, everything pretty, and each other makes us act like neighbors.
I was her maid of honor at her wedding, just over a year ago.
We plan on growing old with our husbands (I am taking applications fellas), raising our kids, and having each others houses right next door to one another.
We just need to decide which city!
You should check her out over at Faux and learn about Faux Lashes!
If she was here, I would have her do my make- up everyday!
Because that is the beauty of having a best friend who is a talented, beautiful, thoughtful make-up artist!
Love you Prissy! xo
My eyes have been opened to who I am, where I want to be, and how I am getting there.
This Is What I Wish by Lysa TerKeurst
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:34 (NIV)
For my daughters, for your daughters. For my sons, for your sons.
This is what I wish.
You are young with eyes that spark and speak of innocence. Don’t trade. Don’t trade the pure peace that greets you each morning for a taste of something meant for later. Later, when a person handpicked by God will want nothing more than to protect you. They won’t want from you. They will want for you.
This is what I wish.
When I was young with eyes that sparked and spoke of innocence, I found myself lured by the pull of a want. A want that welled up from deep within the heart of a girl desperate. For love. For kind words. For that feeling of being wanted, noticed, and told she’s pretty.
I tucked my peace in my pocket feeling so certain it would stay even if I stuck my toes in the current of my want.
I waded out into forbidden waters. Ankle deep the rush felt thrilling. Knee deep I felt old enough, strong enough and a bit annoyed that people I respected didn’t trust me. I knew what I was doing. This didn’t feel dangerous so I reasoned it wasn’t dangerous.
But it was.
I was wrong.
This is what I wish.
That I had listened.
Listened to voices of truth to turn back, run back, get myself out of the current. Resist the pull. Refuse the lie that feelings are to be followed. Feelings are to be brought up on the solid ground of truth. Truth that doesn’t shift. Truth that doesn’t betray.
But I kept walking out further and further. Deeper and deeper. And into a current so strong I didn’t realize how far I’d gone. Until it was too late. Waves of regret, anxiety, and fear swept over me. The one that told me I was pretty was gone.
And so was something else. I shoved my hand into my pocket now empty. I’d been so sure peace would stay. I was wrong. It had slipped away.
Oh if only I’d known even at that point to turn, run back to the truth, get back to solid ground. I would have seen peace had washed up there. When peace slips it always finds its way back to stand hand in hand with truth. Just like I eventually did. But to have never walked away and dipped my toes where they shouldn’t have gone would have prevented years of heartbreak and ocean of tears.
Make that choice now. No matter where you are.
This is what I wish.
Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (NIV)
© 2011 by Lysa TerKeurst.
Lily drops everything when this comes on. Her dance is adorable. Going out to lunch with my dad this week for my birthday. BIRTHDAY MONTH! looks like the birthday fairy threw up in my apartment, and I love it! I love birthdays. Snoopy fruit snacks. so yummy. memories from my childhood. Spending time with my friends and family before I move. too sad to even think about it, but makes me happy to keep making memories. Getting my hair did. doesn't look too different but i love it anyways. How very special my mom is. she is literally the very best person I have ever met. i hope i am like her when i am a mother. Did I mention shellac birthday nails?! Pink sparkle nails! My mom snuck into my apartment and decorated it, and left me flowers, and a scavenger hunt every morning. seriously, how did i get so lucky? Having dinner at Sara and the boys house. they have so much energy. I need to learn how to be more kid oriented. Mr. Ez E, Eli (my nephew) is right on target. can't wait for him to be here! Having my sister at work on Thursdays is usually my best day at work. miss the old days of working together all the time. Only 23 more sleeps in my apartment! then my parents and I are roommates for a few weeks. woop woop! oh, and of course... I love love!
And I truly am not biased,
But I have the best mom- ever. hands down.
She is thoughtful, witty, loves with all her heart
and knows how to make people feel so special
She never ceases to amaze me
I have always made a big deal about my birthday
Maybe because I am the baby of the family
Or I just like celebrating birthdays, especially my own
But my mom always finds a way to out do herself from the year before
I came home tonight
And my air conditioner was blowing
I am cheap. I always turn it up HIGH when I leave so I am not paying for it while I am gone.
That was my first clue
I walked passed my kitchen and into my bathroom
My mirror was decorated for "The Birfday Princess"
Then I go into my kitchen
And I have a bouquet of roses and a card!
Which I can't open until tomorrow morning. no cheating.
Thank you Bif, for making me feel so loved and special.
You are amazing.