Ever have a day where something happens that was unexpected, unwanted and you felt like it was undeserved... today is that day for me.
I am a senior in college, and I have worked on plenty of projects and pulled many all nighters, taken hundreds of exams and nodded off through plenty of lectures. But, I have never been as frustrated about a grade as I am right now. Before spring break I worked so hard on a group project. I spent hours writing, editing, analyzing data and ended up with a less than "acceptable" grade considering the work put into this project.
I have been really frustrated and just mad that all my time and energy could be given this unacceptable grade. And even though I know this lesson its hard to let it go completely, but it reminds me...
This is just a SMALL part of my life. This is just one grade in handful of other grades I have earned. I might not agree with it, and I might write a really mean teacher evaluation for this professor, but this is small, in the BIG scheme of things! Its hard to remember this, and its hard to not be frustrated but as my friend said, "its in the past, let it go! eff it- only 48 more days!"
ps. I may try to boycott class, and I will let you know how that goes.
pss. in case you were wondering, I got an 84% on the project...
This picture pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now... blue, confused, anxious, disappointed but there is still opportunity there. I hate looking to far forward into the future because it makes me very anxious. My thoughts are constantly wandering the "What If" aisle in my brain. What happens if I do this, or what if I did this? And how could this happen again, and what is it going to do to my future? These questions have been plaguing me today... I try to get around them, forget them, distract them but ultimately they are still there.
I don't know what else to say because there is a chance I just have too much to say... but I am warning you now... I am praying for a sign, and lets hope the Big guy reads my blog so he knows which one to send!
So anyone that spends a significant amount of time with my family, usually 20-30 minutes, you have probably experienced the Klingaman Curse. It's subtle. You might even be asking yourself now that if you know what it is!
I believe this curse is genetic, and passed through the father's side, it starts with one good song, and then playing that song again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again,aaaaaaand again....
It happens every time with any song that I love. I hear it once, and there is this connection, and this connection leads to the curse. I can go weeks listening to the same song and not get bored of it, but its usually best with a whole cd. A while ago it was Adele, and then Lady Antebellum, then Kings of Leon, and now, now its Kate Nash.
I think its a great cd for spring time. Driving through Tempe with the windows down (this has yet to happen because its like living in Seattle right now with this rain) with my girl Kate will be scrumptious!
Here are a few of my favorite lines: Merry Happy: Watching me like you never watched no one dont tell me that you didnt try to check out my bum cause i know that you did cause your friend told me that you liked it
The Nicest Things: I wish I was your favourite girl I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
Number 4 is my favorite... Buuuuuut, its not PG rating, which my blog is!
Currently Listening to: Kate Nash- "Made of Bricks" #4
I love, love, love shoes! If I had a real professional job, I would have the best shoes to wear to work. I buy heels all the time, yet rarely wear them. So I am starting to expand into flats and nice sandals. I think shoes make or break an outfit, and I think I have been breaking a lot of outfits so I have to make up for that!
Today, I got a magic box at work... this box did not look very exciting from the outside, but I knew the real treasure's it had inside. It showed true restraint for me to go through lunch, getting new tires, and working on my school project without unveiling the preciousness inside.
Inside this plain looking box were jewels, and those jewels were each in their own little white boxes...
I am ready to show my newest addition to my ever growing collection!
These I am not so sure about... they are cute but kind of fit funny!
These ones, the angels sang from Heaven when they put them on the first time... I took it as a good sign.
And lastly, I told you I had a weakness... are a staple I have needed in my wardrobe for a long time!
Overall, I could not be more pleased with my new best friends... I mean, man has his best friend... why can't I?!
Have you ever asked God for a sign? Straight up just said, "Hey You? Yea YOU, I really need a sign here. I need to know if this is what I am supposed to do, be, say anything. I just need a little help here, I promise I will eat all my veggies, do good stuff to others and not even ask for anything back, I will be really really nice and smile really big at dogs, and split my favorite cookies with you, if you just. give. me. a. sign!
But, its not just about any sign... its about THE sign I want...
I asked God for a sign... I asked him to give me something that tells me what the heck to do next. And this sign could not have been MORE clear to me when I got it. Truly, I knew right when this sign was there in front of me, it had been the one I had asked for! There was just one itsy bitsy, teenie weenie, skiddermerkeenie dinky problem with this GIGANTIC sign...
its not the way I want to go. Key phrase: Not what I WANT.
Now, I'm not sure what to do with this thing I had asked for! A. stop asking for signs when you already know the answer because the damn sign is just going to confirm your thoughts B. Be a big girl and just follow the sign C. Just don't think about it and it will go away.... not what I would recommend to others, but who really takes their own advice these days?! D. Just wait for a new sign? E. Pray about it and hope the Big Guy changes his mind F. All of the above with a side of tequila??
Im going with tequila... *in a very moderate, responsible manner of course!
1. Read at least 12 books a. Pride and Prejudice, must be one of those 2. Move to San Diego 3. Say yes more 4. Go on a date. by myself 5. Invest in a hobby-- bought a year membership to an outdoor boot camp 6. Go to a NFL game (Wasn't NFL but it was the OSU Homecoming game, which is even better!) 7. Run a 5k-- Did the Color Run, but didn't actually run it. So I will keep this up 8. Watch "Gone with the Wind" 9. Join a small group/book club 10. Go salsa dancing 11. Take a day off to go on an adventure 12. Cook dinner for a friend and take it to them 13. Visit a friend in a different city/state 14. Try 'The Bar Method' work out 15. Throw a themed dinner party 16. Visit the Monterey Aquarium 17. Write a letter to my former self 18. Make bread from scratch 19. Visit the Golden Gate Bridge 20. Make new friends 21. Create a new tradition 22. Go paddle boarding 23. Try Bikram yoga or Hot yoga 24. Come up with a personal motto-- "Do something today your future self will thank you for" 25. Learn how to sew 26. Learn how to golf