"Poison & Wine"

The Civil Wars-
Loving this song...


Side note: Forgive me if this blog rambles, or leads on to many different tangents. I have had a few ideas consuming my mind with it, but it has yet to come to fruition.. so please, bare with me. 

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

We all have an answer for this question, but how often does it follow through?
I couldn't tell you what I was going to eat for the next five meals, let alone tell you what I will be doing, or where I will be in the next five years. I have an idea of things I would like to accomplish, achieve, places I would want to be but there is no saying if it will happen or not.

Five years ago, I would not have been able to even conceive of, let alone, believe I would be the person I am today. These last five years have changed me immensely. I have been through a lot of really wonderful times, created a lot of beautiful memories, but I have also been broken in ways I didn't think people should break.

I started a process five years ago, that I did not think would take me all the way to this moment.
Its a process that many people go through, many times in their life.
I met a boy. I liked this boy (a lot).  I dated this boy.
one year. I loved this boy.
two years. I loved him even more. It wasn't always perfect. But, we always had each other.
three years. I loved him very much. We could get through anything that came our way.
four years. I loved him, he gave up on me. I was broken. I had to pick up the pieces. I had to piece myself together.

five years. I am figuring out me.  for close to five years, I identified myself through someone else. I made dreams for myself using a time line based on someone else's dreams and life.

Its still all a process. its a new process, that I am not used too.
I still meet new people.
But the last five years (even more so the last 10 months) have taught me what I know I need and know I want. It has made me more vocal. It has made me an explorer. It has made me carelessly, careful.

If someone asks me "where do you think you will be in the next five years?"- I will have an answer for them. But I am not going to try to plan my life on a five year time line block, because if there is anything I have learned its that life happens, things change when you least expect it, or when you need it the most...

Sparklers only burn for so long...

Wish I had a better version...

Rocky Votolato- Sparklers


Anthem of 2011

There is rarely a time when my mind isn't spinning in a million different directions (Thanks Mom)
I have always been this way.
Thinking, worrying, stressing, dreaming, wondering, worrying, pondering about this, that and the other.

I went to an event this last weekend in San Diego called The Yelo Experience
And it was a really eye opening, thought inducing, character building, dream chasing experience for me. 

My mind has been going 100mph in every direction 
I have made some decisions that I want to see myself follow through with
A lot of this will come out through the next few blog posts but right now I just need to get some of my thoughts out so I can at least sleep tonight. 

With my mind going overtime... I was drawn to one of my favorite quotes...

My mom gave me a card one time (it is in one of my many card boxes) that had this on it, and it still resinates with me: 

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau

This is my anthem for this season in my life 

And I am really excited that you are all on this journey with me.


Post Secret


What do dreams costs?

I wish I had more to add to this
But I am in a gray area right now

dream big.


New Beginning

The good thing about a new month, is it give you a breathe of fresh air
It makes me feel like, ok I can start over and make some changes because its a new month
Its a new start...

Well, this month I am going to start really taking care of myself again.
I have been enjoying dinners, a lot of dinners, nights out, a lot of nights out with friends.
Doing what I wanted with my time.
Not answer to anyone or having to check in with anyone.

But it has taken a toll on my weight loss efforts.
Its funny where my "feel good" about myself level is now...

I am technically still below my Weight Watchers goal weight.
But I am not feeling good about myself.
My clothes don't fit the same way.
My energy levels are not where they used to be.
I just am feeling very Blah about myself!

But its a new month, and technically every day is a new day to make the right decisions.
Its all about moderation. and I know how to get back to where I want to be
Just mad that I let myself get to a place that I don't like before I stopped and just got back on track.

I guess I needed to put it out there for a little support, encouragement, motivation and accountability.
I am really going to try to enjoy life, while being healthy and active.
I am trying to be the best version of myself, in all areas of my life...

So this is my first step to another new beginning!

Encouragement welcomed!
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