A reminder

Sometimes I need a reminder that being a friend means loving someone for everything they are.
The good.
The bad.
The Ugly.

I need to remember to be more compassionate, forgiving, and loving.
Not close off my heart and build a wall when I feel like someone's intentions are not what I think they should be...


"Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest, its about who came and never left your side..."

"Skateistan: To Live and Skate Kabul"

I stumbled across this Sundance Film while on another blog
I find it to be really really interesting and inspiring...

There are a lot of non-profits out there that I think are amazing organizations
This one is definitely one that I would love to learn more about here
Wouldn't it be amazing to be apart of something like this...

It just makes me feel so blessed to live where I do.
It gives me an amazing outlook and perspective on my "problems"

Just opens the eyes to how other people live, and the simple things that can make life altering differences

Promise yourself

" promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
think only of the best, work only for the best, and except only the best.
forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the great achievements of the future.
give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
-christian d. larson


*www.quotablecards.com*

I have a dream...

"And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.' "

- Martin Luther King Jr.


"There is a sort of poverty of the spirit which stands in glaring contrast to our scientific and technological abundance. The richer we have become materially, the poorer we have become morally and spiritually. We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

Moment of Weakness

If you know me, you will agree...

*cory nastazio- professional bmx rider

This is my kryptonite

Sorry for the moment of weakness, but I needed a way to say Thank you Jesus. 

The scruff

The tattoos

The jawline

Thank you God for making all the beautiful creatures

Where I sit you're one of a kind...

Griffin House- The Guy That Says Goodbye To You is Out of His Mind.

Everyone deserves someone to feel this way about them

Enjoy!

Love Song

 

What does your Love Song sound like? 

As you know,
I am a love junkie.
a love lover.
a lovey mcloverson.
eye mull of mush sheen. *Think Mad Gab*
if its about love. i love it. i want it. i have felt it.

during this last season of love
with family, friends, and a failed relationship... 
this journey
some, most, none of you have been on with me
its been unpredictably impatiently hopeful, even optimistic at times..
and painfully dreadfully bleak, hauntingly devastating at times.

I have...
searched my soul
read books
analyzed.every.possible.angle.of. every.situation. 
shopped for advice
went back to search my heart
made excuses
distracted myself
shopped for shoes 
and flung myself knee deep in hard.honesty. cold. truth. 

but one of the things that has gotten me through the thick of it all was
music. 
I was listening to a few different playlists I have.
which the songs range from-
hopeful
never moving on

angry and hurt

found something better
slowly getting there
to found it again

then I realized... love is a really powerful thing.
I mean I knew this before
I love love because of how powerful it is
But all the greats of our time know it too.

Frank Sinatra
Garth Brooks
H.O.V.A. ... Just to name a few *its late, and I don't feel like thinking about more*

So many songs, if not almost all songs, have some tie to love.
I realized, well if there are so many
waiting for the big love songs
break up songs
wanna be in love songs
big pimpin songs
happy love songs
lookin' for a good time songs

Then I am not the only person out there that needs to hear them
or that feels the same way they are feeling.
Sometimes its hard to feel like you aren't the only one going through something
but then you turn on some music, and say "They wrote this song for me"


They did...

Faith

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Ian Axel - This Is the New Year

I want to make a music video like this with all my friends :)

This Is a New Year!

Scared...

I have been trying to find the time to sit down, and write these words
I had been struggling emotionally lately and I just couldn't figure out what was causing it...

In this process of trying to be the best possible version of myself,
One thing I have to do is be completely honest with myself.
But not ask myself questions that will never be answered...
What if I had done this differently?
What if this hadn't happened, where would I be now?
What if, What if, What if...

Sometimes you just need some tough love.
The "What ifs" don't matter, but this IS what happened...
But the next questions is Why do I feel the way I do?

Then I figured it out..

I was scared. scared shitless (sorry momma)
I was scared of change
I was scared of starting over
I was scared of being vulnerable
I was scared of not knowing what the future holds
I was scared of failing... again... 
I was scared of won't live to my full potential
I was scared of the unknown
I was scared of constant comparison

I was scared

Not that I won't have moments of fear
about all, or one of these things again.
Because I am sure I will...
I just have to remember

"Fear has no place in my heart"

Bright Eyes- First Day of My Life

I just love this song.
Then I saw the video, and it made me love it even more.

Cycle

If you do what you have always done; you'll get what you always got. 
If nothing changes, nothing changes. 
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
 
There is a cycle that we all get into,
I think we thrive for routine and comfort
But most of the time the cycle is really hard to break

Sometimes you just have to be strong enough
And break the cycles in your life that are doing more harm than good.

It could be the hardest thing
but it will be worth it...

Just a quick little note before heading off to bed- sleep tight

Picture by Steve Hanks*

do not go where the path may lead. go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me

I'm only one voice in a million, and you ain't takin' that from me

I don't need a microphone to say what I've been thinkin', my heart is like a loud speaker

Potential

When you have as many ideas, thoughts, worries, conversations with yourself as I do, it makes blogging really easy.

I woke up with so many ideas of things I needed to talk about.
As I get a little older, I am realizing that I can not bottle stuff up
It is no good for me. I need to get it out in the open and face it head on.

I was talking to a good friend one day and she gave me a really good piece of advice that I am hanging on to right now. It is helping me make the best decisions for myself. This is not exactly what my friend said, but it is how I interpreted it, and how I have changed it to fit my circumstances...

"Don't rely or bet on someone else's potential for your life. Most of the time they never see the potential you see in them, and the will rarely ever reach their full potential."

I have spent a lot of my life relying on other peoples potential to be who I see them as.
And I am very guilty of only seeing the good in people (which isn't necessarily bad, unless its giving them too much credit)
I can't continue to bet on someone else's potential
I just need to worry about reaching my own full potential and all the pieces will fall where they are supposed too.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

I know you are all sick of my roller coaster of emotions.
...because trust me, i am freaking sick of it as well...
I am really struggling with having my heart feel what my head knows.
It just isn't on the same page right now

I know what I want in life:
I want God.
I want Love.
I want Health and Happiness.
I want a family.
I want someone who stands besides me.

But most of all I struggle with the want of: Love
I know so many things
   I know if I am looking for it, it won't come.
   I know its not something you can force.
   I know you have to know and love yourself to be open to that kind of love.
   You have to have a full heart, to love that kind of love
   I know, if you let love go and it never comes back it was never yours yadda yadda

I know these common rules and thoughts about love...
Yet, I don't follow those rules.
I try so often to do it my way.
Well... my way D.O.E.S. N.O.T. work

I can't have it all.
I have to make sacrifices
I have to make the choice to do what's right
even when its soo frackin' hard.

I am always so worried about hurting other people
To the point where I will put myself through the mill to keep someone else happy,
or give someone else what they want,
But what about me? 

How do I continue to let you hurt me
even after so much time has gone
Your actions speak a lot louder than words....
and you'll never know how much they both hurt 

Starting today
Starting right now...
I'm doing me
for me

I can't hold onto the burden of the mistakes you chose to make 

2011

I tend to bite off more than I can chew
I have really high expectations for myself in everything I do.

I usually am really into making lists and goals
but the problem with lists and goals is most of the time they aren't accomplished
especially when you have a full year to finish them.

This year my "resolution" is encompassed in one term:

'Continue to become the best version of myself'

I know that this will not happen overnight, in a few months, or even in this year
It is going to be a continual process of making the best, and right decisions for myself
Being the best person I can be in every situation.
Being the friend that I need to be to others.
Sticking to my word
Not always wearing my heart on my sleeve 
Living the best possible life I can for me
Learning from the hard times
Laughing through the good times
Encouraging, Supporting others.
But not being afraid to say I need help.
Being healthier, and more active
Letting go of emotions I no longer need to hold on too
Cultivating hobbies, interests, dreams

This year I am picking myself up
brushing myself off
moving forward (and on) in every experience
to be the best version of myself.