Ok, I know I just posted a blog less than 3 seconds ago, but that one was a little more profound than this one and it didn't seem right to continue on with this one.
As a reflection from my last blog I do want to say, I hope one day, my blogging skill will develop so the stories I tell will have meanings that people will find helpful in their lives. I hope to eventually bring comfort, laughter, hope, faith and love to people who could randomly find my blog among the scrolls of others.
But here is my big story for the week:So we had weigh in on Wednesday. I was up .8! I was not very happy... This challenge is starting to become a competition. This healthy idea, is start to be a dirty game. This numbers game, which for me is not as drastic as it could be for others, but this numbers game is not what I want it to be about, but the fact is: it is...
or at least it was!
This morning I knew I would have to wear jeans today because it dropped 20 degrees in the last two days here in Arizona. So I already had in mind which ones. They are some jeans that I had bought last christmas with my then roommate, and at my then weight. They were, for lack of a better term, my big girl jeans. They were baggy but not too baggy but I always knew I could fit in them. Well, as you all know, summer in Arizona is hot... and I mean HOT! So I had just been wearing dresses all the time. So my pants were sadly neglected, well a couple months ago when I went to put on my big girls jeans they were a little snug! And even worst, my favorite pair of jeans that I had bought when I had lost a significant (for me) amount of weight a few summers ago, could barely make it above my hips! I was mortified... I was saddened, and disgusted. Well this morning, with bedhead still settling, and sleep in my eyes I grabbed for my jeans, I pulled them up and they fit pretty nice. Not too tight, Not too loose, but very comfortable.
Much to my surprise, not only had my big girl jeans gone back to their original fit, the length has shrunk a good 6inches (when you are as short as I am, and you buy nice, good *expensive* jeans they are always TOOOOO LOOOOOOOONG) When I looked down guess what I saw?!!?
THEY WEREN'T MY BIG GIRL JEANS....THEY WERE MY FAVORITE JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!
In that moment, it wasn't about a number. It was about my goal. My goal to fit into my clothes again, my goal to feel better about myself. My goal to be excited about my clothes again. I'm not going to let this challenge become a competition. I'm not going to let my healthy idea become a dirty game. I am going to be happy with my progress. I am going to make good decisions, and sometimes eat a cookie and not feel bad about it. This morning was a result. It was the good stuff I have been waiting for.
5 months ago