There is no set in stone right or wrong way to make it through the hard stuff. Its different for every person Everything you do that helps you, might not even come close to working for the someone else.
I am constantly amazed at the power of God and social networking.
As I stated a few posts before, I love to read blogs. Most of the time, I find one, which will lead me to another, which will lead to another, this is the process of how I have found most of the blogs I read.
Today there was a post on one that I read about a young woman who is 24, been married for 4 months and she just had a stroke.
It played on my heart strings. I could not even begin to imagine everything that is going through her husbands mind, her parents, hers...
But, I feel like its important to spread the word so as many people that believe can raise her and her family up in prayer!
"the Lord will act in our behalf. NOTHING can hinder the Lord from Saving." 1 Sam 14:6 - this seems to be their verse that is giving their family peace and comfort.
I know when my family was going through our own medical battle we had a mantra we stuck with that gave us peace.
You might not know them personally (I don't) but we are all God's children and nothing is impossible with God!
Disclaimer: I just need to get something off my chest. I hope that once I do I can just move passed it. The picture above is a little more dramatic than this post will be, but it is beautiful at the same time! I got it here
Life is kind of like a storm. I am learning to dance in the rain...
I am learning lots of things. Here is the lesson of the week (so far...)
I have learned this lesson before. But it doesn't mean it won't show up from time to time to re-teach you something. Control. A lot of the time, we think we have it, but we don't. I'm not talking about control over ourselves but control over a situation. When so many other influencing factors are involved its that much harder to have control. Mistakes. I make them, you make them, everyone makes them. If a person thinks they don't, we might have an issue. If a persons thinks people do things to them on purpose, then they might be a little too senstivie (I am guilty of that big time, its another lesson I am currently learning the slow way). If a person can't forgive another for a mistake they apologized for, then I don't know what to tell that person... but they will be holding onto a lot of stuff that will just weigh them down in the long run...
So why is it, that when you don't have complete control over a situation, and you maybe make a bad judgement call or a mistake, but you later apologize for that mistake. people can't forgive...
tell me you have never made a mistake and asked for forgiveness. tell me that you didn't have control over a situation and someone else was affected from that lack of control but you are having the finger pointed at you, even though you couldn't control it all.
I may be sawing sawdust here but I needed to get it off my chest and writing it in words seems to be the only way.
But, I did what I could to make it better, so at least I can say I did the best I could.
A couple years ago, I created an idea for myself called "The Happiness Campaign" I was tired of letting other people bring me down I didn't want to not be happy because other people didn't want to be happy I have always been an emotions sponge. I soak up what my friends are going through and feel it with them Well, I was tired of always feeling and being down about things that weren't worth it So I wanted to be happy The Happiness Campaign is about being happy for what you have and the blessings in your life. If you tell yourself to be happy, you will be... it might take some time but eventually it will happen.
Well, I am at another time in my life where I need the Happiness Campaign in my life. People always want to give little sayings Words of wisdom, encouragement, hope to get through the good, the bad and the ugly
Well my mom gave me this little hallmark book- Live Happy: Inspirational Thoughts on Life, Love and Laughter. To help me get through my bad and my ugly time.
I love LOVElove this book! It sits next to my bed and its a little flip book so you are supposed to turn the page everyday and it will give you some kind of saying.
Some are funny Some are silly Some are thought provoking Some make you smile and some, some are exactly what you need to hear.
I gave this little book to a couple of my girlfriends and we will share with each other which one we have up. I am impatient so I read through it and find the one that fits me for the moment I am at.
Tonight this one doesn't necessarily fit the moment, but it made me smile and was something I needed to hear.
"All you've got is all you can give and that will always be enough."
That really hits home for me because, sometimes I don't know if I will ever be enough I spent a long time thinking I had to change all these things to be enough for someone, but I don't And I will always be enough...
I am not a confrontational person, I try to be rational Come to the person with compassion, and honesty that I might have an issue with.
But, when people have completely different perspective's on a situation that is really REALLYreally H.A.R.D.
I feel like I get walked all over. I feel like I care way to much about other people's feelings over my own. I am TIRED of not having reliable, understanding, selfless people around me.
People don't walk in other people's shoes anymore... People are greedy People are selfish People only care about themselves and don't think about what they might be putting someone else through...
I'm not asking for the moon, I'm asking for some decency, understanding that YOU made a choice YOU have to deal with, and rationale...
P.S. Isn't that baby too much to be really mad at?! haha so cute!
Life can be a rollercoaster. This morning I was sad... But tonight, is the complete opposite. I can not get the smile off my face. I have a feeling I haven't had in a long time...
There is silver lining in brokeness.. There is silver lining in meeting up with an old friend and spending quality time with them. There is silver lining in meeting someone new that brings a smile to your face...
Right now, I am happy and I don't want to sleep... in case tomorrow is not the same
I love getting to know people through their own perspective and words. I love knowing that other people find this process as therapuetic as I do. I love knowing I am not alone, even when I feel alone.
I found a new blog today, through another one I have been reading...
Well, it happened. It's kind of like a blur. When it was happening, it was going slow *especially when they were calling out all the names* but it really happened so fast. Five years... I worked towards this day for five years (I switched majors once, and graduating in 4 years is like leaving a party at 11!) I want to go back already and soak it all up. I had all my friends around me. It was amazing, good times and great memories!
I am officially apart of the college graduated crowd.
So surreal... It makes me happy you were there...
Everyone asks, what is next? And I am ok saying, I don't know! I have an amazing job, but I am open to opportunities I am just going to start living life!
Well, I lied last night... after this post I will be a college graduate!
I have so many different emotions! Its amazing what God has given us and done for us to feel what we feel. I did not know it was possible to be sad, excited, proud, nervous all in one moment!
I am about to cross this finish line, alone, which after four years I never thought would happen.
But its not about who I cross the finish line with... its about all those people out there cheering me on, supporting me, loving me, and being proud of what I have accomplished!
Thank you to my crowd, my supporters, my cheerleaders...
Without you, I wouldn't have the strength to cross this line!
I'm closing this chapter of my life...
Here is to a new clean slate to write my story on!
It is the night before my college graduation. Yes, COOOOLLEGE graduation! I am not sure, what to think or feel... All these transitions are scary, exciting, wanted, needed... I want to cry because I am so proud, happy, nervous, sad about this chapter, and its end. I am proud to be a Sun Devil. The next time I write in this blog... I will be a college graduate.
All I know is that you're so nice, You're the nicest thing I've seen. I wish that we could give it a go, See if we could be something.
I wish I was your favourite girl, I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world. I wish I was your favourite smile, I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.
I wish you couldn't figure me out, But you always wanna know what I was about. I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset, I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly, 'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see. Basically, I wish that you loved me, I wish that you needed me, I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.
I wish that without me your heart would break, I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake. I wish that without me you couldn't eat, I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.
All i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen I wish that we could see if we could be something
Songs make me feel better about the emotions I have. It makes me feel that at least someone else has felt how I have feel/felt. Its just one of those days.
Why is it that actions speak louder than words? You act one way... but you say another Which am I supposed to follow? Which am I supposed to believe? Do you even know which one you feel?
I know I don't always have it together I know I don't always act what I say and I will be the first to admit that...
I let my heart govern much of what I do Some might say, I love too freely and openly I put myself out there, a lot...
But my actions shout LOVE What do your actions say about you?
Anchorman is by far, one of my favorite movies... but the problems with favorites these days is it reminds me of my other favorite thing that I can't have anymore... ugh, promised myself this was going to be a different kind of entry, and it will be...
I grew up in the city, my family is all country. I used to lie when I was little and tell people I was born in Oklahoma because I thought it was sooo cool! As much as I am a city girl, ask all 100+ cousins I have(yes this is true), I'm the biggest city girl of them all, I still have a small piece of country in me. Summers on the farm, going out into the fields, driving down country dirt roads, and blaring country music.
Small fact about myself: I wasn't allowed to listen to anything but christian or country music until I was like 12. Then I listened to the good stuff, you know Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, N'sync... ok digressing...
Well, my parents are both still country in their own way. And lately my momma has had to be my rock. She is a sturdy one to lean on when you need a rock, but she always has country music playing in the background. I had a particularly bad day a couple days ago, and this song was playing in the background.
My momma looked at me and said, baby girl- this is you. it doesn't feel like it now. but this is you. so don't you worry, you will feel it again. (ok it wasn't exactly those words, but whatever it said, made me feel good...)
I listened to the words again, and I liked it... and it was totally me because if you know me, you know I love patron.
I have been listening to it on repeat, from youtube because my mom is burning me a CD of sassy songs as she says!
But, this at least shows you the words if you are interested...
PS... yes, thank you for riding Goliath with me... You know, the tallest rollercoaster in the world. It goes to really high points, to really low points, twists and turns, jerks and flips but you know what, it always comes to an end...
I feel more broken every day. I can't find all the pieces of my heart, or my soul. I am sad I am mad I am exhausted I am hurt I am miserable I am broken I am alone I feel hopeless at times I don't want to see the big picture I don't want to hear it will all be ok I am NOT ok I am not happy I am not ME
So I have a really soft spot in my heart, which is impressive because I have a pretty stinkin' soft heart, for Brandon Heath and his music. The summer before my senior year of high school, a boyfriend and I had broken up. It was a really awful break up, things were not nice, but God had opened a door for me to go away for a month to serve at a YoungLife camp. Brandon Heath happened to be the musician for the month that I was there. Each week there is a mini concert, the first week I couldn't make it through the first song without major tears. The second week, I made it a little bit further. By the last week, I could make it through the whole thing without tears.
Well, I am at another crossroads in life. And let me tell you my emotions are about as similar to the latest Carrie Underwood cd. Most moments I am sad, some moments I am hopeful, some moments I see the bigger picture, some I am bitter, but I still feel love, always.
There is a song that I heard a while ago, and I knew right when I heard it, it was B. Heath. Its called, Love Never Fails.
After this week that I have had, I heard the song again, and it had a different meaning to me this time around. God is Love... This song is about His love for us, but also He teaches us how to Love. I believe in Love, Hope, Faith... Nothing will change that.
Love Never Fails Brandon Heath
Love is not proud Love does not boast Love after all Matters the most
Love does not run Love does not hide Love does not keep Locked inside
Love is the river that flows through Love never fails you
Love will sustain Love will provide Love will not cease At the end of time
Love will protect Love always hopes Love still believes When you don't
Love is the arms that are holding you Love never fails you
When my heart won't make a sound When I can't turn back around When the sky is falling down Nothing is greater than this Greater than this
Love is right here Love is alive Love is the way The truth the life
Love is the river than flows through Love is the arms that are holding you Love is the place you will fly to Love never fails you
So many questions run through my head. I don't have answers for any of them. There is a chance I never will. I have to find a way to be ok with this new normal.
This is a weird time right now So many transitions So many sad feelings So many happy things I am going to make the most of it I am going to put one foot in front of the other Life is Good. Life is Painful. I will live it to the fullest
Its crazy how your world can change so drastically over night, how you can go from pure, genuine happiness to life shattering darkness so quickly I am trying to deal I am trying to grow I am trying to be better
but I am trying to Love through it.
I told my mom the other day, if I could have done things differently through college I would have been more involved, been more active in different roles, gone to more sporting events, but you know, it is what it is. I can't go back, and wouldn't want to go back.
I wouldn't want to erase anything from the past 5 years... its made me who I am. And I'm still a work in progress, but at least I am progressing
1. Read at least 12 books a. Pride and Prejudice, must be one of those 2. Move to San Diego 3. Say yes more 4. Go on a date. by myself 5. Invest in a hobby-- bought a year membership to an outdoor boot camp 6. Go to a NFL game (Wasn't NFL but it was the OSU Homecoming game, which is even better!) 7. Run a 5k-- Did the Color Run, but didn't actually run it. So I will keep this up 8. Watch "Gone with the Wind" 9. Join a small group/book club 10. Go salsa dancing 11. Take a day off to go on an adventure 12. Cook dinner for a friend and take it to them 13. Visit a friend in a different city/state 14. Try 'The Bar Method' work out 15. Throw a themed dinner party 16. Visit the Monterey Aquarium 17. Write a letter to my former self 18. Make bread from scratch 19. Visit the Golden Gate Bridge 20. Make new friends 21. Create a new tradition 22. Go paddle boarding 23. Try Bikram yoga or Hot yoga 24. Come up with a personal motto-- "Do something today your future self will thank you for" 25. Learn how to sew 26. Learn how to golf
