one is the...

in this new journey i have been going through
i am experiencing something that i haven't felt in a long time
it creeps in at unexpected times
there is no rhyme or reason
in a room full of people, or in a bed by myself
it is distinct
it is gut wrenching
unbearable at best
its something i have never been well at
i strive for connection
i live from communication
i love to feel loved
but this thing i haven't felt in a long time
takes over
it screams out, in a silent world

this journey i am on is a winding path through darkness and light
it is taking me places i don't want to go, be, or ever visit again
it forces you to be honest, open and curious

i am not afraid of what is at the end
because i know i will come out of this better
but this new journey i am on, i am on alone

i am lonely. even in a room full of people.

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