Spongebob Squarepants...

Catchy Title huh?! Well, here it is! Today was weigh in day! And I am down 2.2 lbs! so that makes for a total of *drum rollllllllllll* 9.2lbs, in the last 4 weeks! I am very proud that I didn't give up because last week I hadn't done exactly what I wanted! But, now that I am getting this portion of my life under control and organized, I feel like other areas are going out of whack! Mostly me, my heart feelings... I just have felt super down lately. As most of you can tell from my last handful of Blogs I am just really struggling. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning, sometimes I feel like I am floating. Sometimes I say just take it away God, I am letting go for you to carry these burdens, and yet other times I am grasping on to the awful feelings that hold me down and don't want to let go because I need justification. This yo-yo of emotions needs to stop. I don't want this to be my constant state. I know all it takes is for me to say ok, no I am not going to do this anymore. But I feel like it will take a lot more than that... you know, I feel like somethings just drag us down, even if they have been a constant fixture in our lives, that doesn't mean it is right. I need to take some of those fixtures down and either get rid of them, or fix them up so they let me be the best I can be. I am really sorry about all the complaining lately. I guess I feel like people expect a lot out of me, so this is the only place I can kind of complain and not feel so bad about it. Just so much going on in my heart and head... I feel like a sponge. I feel like I am soaking up everything around me, I'm ready to squeeze it out and start fresh!