Awareness leads to Accountability...

So one of my new favorite things to do is read other peoples blogs. It seems somewhat invasive when you are reading these stories that other people have experienced and the only connection you have is a link from a blog, of a blog, of a blog, of a person you really know. I figured, we are all putting ourselves out there for a reason.

Whether it be to: just have a place to put our thoughts so we, the blogger, can go back and look through things. or we want to be an inspiration, or we just really like letting out these stories of our lifes, whatever the reason, I am glad other people do it. Some of the blogs I read I can not relate to at all, but they inspire me. Inspire me to do more with my life, not put myself in boundaries of age, experience, money, life... They hold me accountable for my thoughts: frustration, selfishness, failure, success, blessings, happiness. These blogs, of these people I have never met, sometimes read as if they are writing about my life.

I have been struggling on here very verbally. I have been pulling around this dark dark cloud over my head and I just can not seem to shake it. But, today when reading a new blog (my saving blog, I will call it) it clicked. The words that were spilling off the screen and combining ideas in my head, were the words I have been searching for. These stories and words were exactly what I have needed... I feel like they saved my drowning soul...

I am aware of my feelings, I have made you aware of my feelings... and hopefully I can be held accountable for my reactions to them. I do not want to feel the way I have. I do not want to drag others down because of my attitude. I know I have said this, but I am really trying to do and be better for everyone I am around. But being aware of other people's attitudes, also makes me accountable for how I react to them. If I have to distance myself, to be happy... then I will distance myself. If I have to submerge myself, to feel positivity...then submerged I will be. I am not going to be a victim of other peoples negativity anymore.

I can't because their nasty black rain cloud, is creeping on me... I like the sun too much to be under their clouds....