The Good. The Bad. And the really really Bad.

Its hard to think about everything that has changed for me this year
without leaking from my eyes.

All the Good.
All the really really Good.

All the Bad.
All the really really Bad.

I am thankful for everything I went through this year. All the people who were there for me during 2010.  All the experiences I have learned from. The growth and process I have made, even if it is a two steps forward, one step backwards process.

All the Good.
All the really really  Good.

All the Bad.
All the really really Bad.

I wish I had more words, for my last blog of 2010. But they will have to come another time...

Here is to a New Year.
A new slate to start fresh.
Here is to the Good. The really really Good. The Bad. And the really really Bad. 

Here is to a new Me.
To continue the journey to becoming the best version of myself.

Its not all going to happen in just a few weeks, months or even a year...
This growth will continue.
Just hope in 2011 I can find people in my life to share and encourage that growth with
If it be family, friends or love, I am open for any kind of support.

Here is to a New Year with a lot of
The Good.
The really really Good.

and hopefully not too much of
The Bad.
or the really really Bad.

Love Love Love

Hope ft. Jason Mraz

This song is my new favorite.
I mean, the title is my life saying!

I may not have what it is singing about,
But eventually I will have that kind of Love again.

Until then I will listen to this song!

Storm of 2010

2010:

It wasn't necessarily my best year.
It started out calm.
Lifetime member of Weight Watchers. Snowboarding trips. Trip to San Diego for a Quarter Life Crisis then off the LA for the Ellen show. Repelling trip. Four wheeling days. Nights out with the girls.

Then the Storm of 2010 hit.

It was a hurricane of emotions. It was a tornado of fears. It was a flood of decisions. It was a complete downpour. It was like I was standing outside during this massive storm. Torn down. Pelted with debris. Broken. Beaten down. Sopping Wet. Drenched. Soaked to the Core. No way to avoid. Not possible to escape. The storm of 2010.

I had to pull it together to graduate college. This goal I had been working so hard to achieve. It was my first twirl in my storm. Traveling to California. Meeting new friends. OK days. Twirl, Twirl. Work trip to Oklahoma. Baby Showers. Good days. Bridal Showers. Moving into a new apartment. Bad days.  Slipping. Falling in the storm. San Jose for my best friends wedding. Brushing myself off, and dancing again. Learning lessons in trust. 24 Carat Gold Birthday. My Niece being born. Vegas. My life kept going on, even when the clouds were rolling in and out. The wind would change direction.

Slowly but surely, I was dancing in the biggest storm of my life. I am determined to keep dancing. It has been a long, hard, emotionally draining, growing process. I finally understand. I have to go through these lessons to get to my ultimate goal. I want to be the best version of myself that I can. I chose to face my storm head on. I will always choose to face the storms of my life head on. Even if it means I have to bring a few friends with me. The storms will not make a natural disaster of my life.

If that means I have pull up the rain boots. Put on the rain coat. So be it. I will wear the cutest rain boots and rain coat out there to dance in my storm.

I may slip. I may fall. But I will twirl in any storm to come, because the storm of 2010 made me stronger. It made me better. I am still getting there, but it helped open up the idea of the best version of who I am. 


"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
             It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

On Repeat

Natalie Closner- A little more

Pretty sure this is the third time I have blogged this song... It is just so beautiful!

where I yam...

It had kind of been one of those days.

I couldn't figure out where these emotions were coming from,

granted I am a girl and I usually can't figure that one out.

Its hard to verbalize what is going on inside my head.

Its even harder to verbalize what is going inside my heart.

I wish my heart could feel what my head knows.

And most days, for the most part, mostly it does...

I have grown so much, I was thinking to myself, I have grown so much in these 8 months.

Then it hit me... its been 8 months.

Its been one of those days because of what happened 8 months ago, today

I have grown so much

My heart is in a much different place

but, that doesn't mean it doesn't still make me think of where I was, that those feelings don't well up inside of me to think of what was and what is 

Its hard to remember that I am here because I was there

and I know here is the place I need to be

The right place is not always easy

The easy place is not always right

But regardless, I am really happy with my life,

Even when it is hard because I am trying to be in the right place for me.

I yam... who I yam... 

Oh, the Places You'll Go

 

Everyone needs a cheerleader

Sometimes you don't realize until its too late

Who your real cheerleaders are... 

Oh, the Place You'll Go- Dr. Seuss

"You'll get mixed up, of course, 

as you already know. 

You'll get mixed up 

with many strange birds as you go. 

So be sure when you step, 

Step with care and great tact

and remember that Life's

a Great Balancing Act. 

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. 

And never mix up your right foot with your left."

Post Secret

 

Sometimes what you can't put into words.

Someone else can. 

They don't have to mean the same thing.

But they can move you the same way. 

I miss the times when my most important decisions was what to wear to school. 

I miss when I never doubted my dreams 

I miss when love was all you needed... 

Sometimes when you can't put into words. 

Someone else can. 

And it is exactly what you have been trying to say. 

 

 

*pictures found on PostSecrets Google Search

O Hooooly...

How does this happen EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR?

I know that Christmas is December 25th but it always sneaks up on me
the decorations go up, there is a different spirit in the air, green and red are everywhere
It comes and goes so quickly
But do we remember the real reason for the season?

Yes, I am talking about Jesus.
The God sent his only begotten son for us...
That this time of year, even with all the propaganda, Jesus shines through.

Even though each year, it surprises me. It comes too fast. It leaves too quickly.
I am trying to take a moment to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas.

Happy Birthday little baby Jesus!

Confession of a Single Girl

Santa is here in only 2 more sleeps!!!

My confession is... Being single at Christmas time is not necessarily easy, but I am pretty distracted, so its not as bad as I thought it would be. There is an upside to it though.What is nice about being single at Christmas time... its a LOT cheaper! 

 Ho Ho Ho

Words of Affirmation

As I get older I realize how much I am filled up by words of affirmation

My family is very lovey
We hug, We love on, We cuddle
We say I love you, every chance we get

I know not all families or people are like that
But that is just who I am

When my family or friends tells me how much I mean to them, or that they love me
It just fills my heart right up

I am overflowing, but never full!

Keep the love coming!

Quote of the Year

"You are unrepeatable. 

There is a magic about you

that is all its own...."

-D.M. Dellinger


Never stop believing that!

Firework

I wouldn't say that Katy Perry is my favorite but...

I think this could be one of my many theme songs for 2010!

A few things...

I was thinking today about a few things that I have learned over the last year.
Thought maybe I could share a few with you..
Some are serious, some are funny but over all they are what they are..
Just a few things I have learned

1. Friends are like seasons, they come and go. Come in your life when you need them most. Sometimes they will stay for a long time (kind of like the heat in Arizona right now! Can it please be winter already!?) But... Its Ok! Its ok if your best friend isn't your best friend anymore because you have grown up and grown apart. Doesn't mean your love has changed for them.

2. Heartache is NOT, I repeat, NOT a terminal illness. As much as it might feel/seem like it at first... It is something you cope with, heal from, learn from and get better from. Its a really hard life lesson, but I think its an injustice if you don't experience it once. April Showers, Bring May Flowers... You can grow flowers from where dirt used to be (Kate Nash- Merry Happy) You will get better from heartache I promise <3 

3. Bad decisions do not define you. They just add to your character.. if you learn from them the right way.

4. Pampering, rewarding, splurging on yourself is a MUST. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. To stay sane, and happy don't deprive yourself of the little things you deserve.

5. Flaming Hot Cheetos are ALWAYS a bad idea. No matter how long its been since you've had them last they will still give you heart burn and its just a bad idea.

6. Standing up for yourself is one of the most empowering things. Who cares if the person never responds. Who cares if they get mad at you for telling the truth.  If you are doing it for the right reasons, and with your heart in the right spot... Stand Up for Yourself!

7. Regardless of how hurt I have been, I will ALWAYS believe in L.O.V.E.

8. Taco Tuesdays are a must! Even if you don't eat Taco's, have taco tuesdays with your best friend, every tuesday! It does amazing things for your friendship.

9. Music answers all the questions you didn't know you had about life.

10. Shoes really could be a girls best friend... unless you are in Vegas, then they are your worst enemy by the end of the night!

I think this is a good start to my list!

To Be Continued...

Shopping...

I am borderline shopaholic.
I shop when I am:
Mad
Sad
Happy
Stressed
Bored
Content
but I love to buy presents at Christmas time.
I love coming home with bags upon bags with a special reason for each one... 

Really at any time, but I love to buy the perfect gift that the person didn't even know they wanted!
That is my favorite part of Christmas!

Shoe Accessories!?

O.M.G. if you know me.. even just a little
you know I love shoes.. like really really love shoes
especially heels, even though  I don't wear them as often as I would like!

Well my best friend, who has a make up blog that you should all follow, knows me best of all.

She sent me this link to ban.do line- shoe clips

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I need these hearts! ahh just so cute. love love it!

Or these pink pom poms...

*All the pictures I got are from the ban.do line website! 

I have been wanting these shoes... and I would buy them just to buy those pom poms...

Ahhhh I just love shoes!

Solution...

Be a solution. Not a problem.

Life will just be easier if you are always working towards an answer rather than adding to a problem.

Lily

Dear Lily,

You have only been in my life for 9 weeks now, and I have never felt so much love for someone. It is so instant. It is irreplaceable and indescribable. To see how you are just constantly changing and growing, I can not wait to watch you in all stages of your life! You light up my life Lily. You bring me so much happiness and I just can't have a bad day when you are around.

I am beyond blessed to be your Auntie. I can't wait for you to grow up and for us to have fun days together. I love to talk to you and be with you. I am sorry I didn't know how to dress you in clothes today after I changed your diaper. Its our first time hanging out just the two of us, so I promise I will get better at it. You are my favorite little Lily! You are so precious and I couldn't imagine my life without you! I will always be here for you Lily. I will listen when you need an ear. I will give you advice when you need it. Take you for ice cream when you are sad. And shopping just because. I will love you forever and ever and always.

Lily you bring light to our family. And it will never be the same because of you.

Rihanna - What's My Name? ft. Drake

Ok one last one...
I am loving this one right now.

Waking Up In Vegas

I wanted to write a blog for each day this month but I missed yesterday because I was waking up in Vegas!

Vegas is a beautiful chaotic town
It truly never sleeps
Brings together the most unlikely people
and in a weird way teaches you about people

Vegas you were a great time and I hope to see you soon...

Committed: Apologize

Music has saved my heart these last 8 months...
it has helped me heal
it has helped me deal with my feelings
it has just been there for me

I saw this on and wow....
So Good!

Change is the only constant...

I was talking with one of my WW buddies this morning about the new plan that WW introduced this month.
It changes a lot of stuff, it is taking some getting used too, and for the most part we all have our heels dug deep into the ground!

What is it about change that we all fear so much?

If you look back on a time in your life where there was change, and look at your life now... for the most part it is better. You are better.

For the most part, change is rarely wanted

We are all comfortable, things are easy, we are content...

Change causes us to re examine our lives, how we are living, what we are doing.

For most people, its hard to be really honest with ourselves.

Sometimes, its really hard to accept that change is exactly what we need

This year I feel like I have done a lot of changing.

I am changing, being molded, working on being the best version of myself possible...

How are you accepting change?

Some things never change..

Dave Barry: 16 Things That Took Me 50 Years to Learn...

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

I will always dislike, despise, loathe driving because of this...

If you are going to get over- use your blinker
If you are going to drive slow- stay out of the fast lane
If you are going to merge- go with the flow of traffic
If you are going to keep 10 car lengths between you and the car in front of you- don't slam on your breaks when someone gets in front of you

I am an above average driver... so you should listen to me

communication

Communication...
we all want it.
We all need it, even crave it.
Yet why is it so hard to actually utilize it.

Santa's Coming to Town

There are only 18 days left in this holiday shopping season...
and so far I haven't done any shopping! eeeek!
How is it that every year you know exactly what day Christmas is, but it always sneaks up on you!

I love when I see something somewhere, and think hey! I can make those! Somethings I find, I know someone can make but just not me!

If you are looking for some fun things to buy your honey, sister, mom, or friend this year I would definitely check out Etsy.com

The stuff on there is just amazing, and most the time they are one of a kinds so the person you get it for won't see everyone else wearing it around!

Its been a busy day at work today, but I wanted to take a little time to look around Etsy...

I know I live in Arizona, but I love to bundle up in the winter and I am LOVING this WishBone Cowl scarf!


It comes in all different colors
I personally love the Vanilla Cream, Fig or Mortar

These aren't as useful but I sure do love what it says!

Love Love

These are easily made, actually my sweet friend Megan made me a couple after we saw them in a store but I just think these are so cute and a simple gift idea!

Buttons...  I love Buttons

  Ok last one for now... I just love the creativity on Etsy...



Love the Turquoise, Burnt Orange and Eggplant

 These are just a few Christmas options for those special ladies in your life! So fun and original!

Happy Shopping!

xoxo

*all pictures were found on the Etsy website... the link below the pictures will take you exactly to the seller!*

The Little Things

I have always known that great things come in little packages,
I mean.. I am only 5'3- thats pretty little...

But, I have just realized this year how simple things leave the greatest impact
A card in the mail during a tough week
A text during finals week
A little present to say thank you
Sending someone something they mentioned on a side note and they don't even remember telling you they wanted it
Flowers for no reason...

it is the little things that stick
it is the little things that feel best to give and recieve

It is the little things in life that I look forward too.

Friendship

This year, I have realized that maintaining friendship is a very important aspect of building and keeping relationships.
It is easy to make new friends, but the real test is if you maintain that friendship.
I am realizing that people come in and out of your life for a reason
There are seasons of friends, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

I am grateful for all the people I have met in my life and have called friends.
If I see them daily, weekly, monthly, or every 6 months, a year
They have helped mold me into the best possible me
Taught me life lessons
Made memories with me
Been ears to talk to
And given me advice when I didn't want to hear it

I have also realized this year, I have a limit to being a friend
I want to be the best friend that I can be to someone
But I need them to want to do that as well
I realized this year, that I need my friends to want to be my friends
if they don't, that is totally fine but I can't continue to be the only one giving
It might be selfish but I just noticed how much I have let people walk over me
And I want to stand up for myself
I want my friends to treat me how they want to be treated

Friendship is such an important ingredient in who I am
I take pride in trying to be a good friend
Are you treating your friends, how you want to be treated?

Memories

There is just something special about this time of year
The holiday spirit, red starbucks cups, cold crisp weather
The gift buying and giving, helping others, sharing in laughter
But, I know it is a hard time for people who have lost loved ones, lost love,
are alone or surrounded by people
We all have our reasons for the feelings we have during this time of year

I think a lot of it its because of the memories we hold
Memories are a blessing and a curse sometimes
Sometimes they keep you up at night, or in bed all day
Sometimes they bring warm feelings and a smile to your face.

Memories are funny like that
I would never want to take away my memories
They are precious, and I hold them so dear to my heart
but sometimes, I wish I couldn't remember how good the good was, because I can't remember how not so good the not so good was...

Big Picture

Life is about this Big Picture, that I believe, we rarely think about but are constantly consumed with.

Every decision, every experience is just one puzzle piece in the Big Picture.

So do you make your decisions with a Big Picture perspective
or
Do you make your decisions for the now, realizing it could, will, might change your Big Picture?

It seems like a vicious cycle.
You have to live for the now, because well it is now.
But you have to keep the Big Picture in mind
Does this particular situation, decision, experience work you towards or away from your Big Picture?

I am realizing how hard life is.
Its hard to make the right decision
but, its even harder to know what the right decision is...

I don't know exactly how my Big Picture will turn out.
I know some of my puzzle pieces that will complete it are not the same size...

Some pieces are bigger because they have helped mold me into the best version of myself 

Some pieces are smaller because they just put a small shift in my direction towards my ultimate goal

I imagine my Big Picture as one of those collage pictures that you can take small pictures of your life, and if you look at them individually the are something different, but when you step back and look at it, you see a different picture completely...

I don't know what my Big Picture looks like

So, I will live in the moment, realizing, these small moments now have a BIG impact later...


*Sorry for all the repetition with Big Picture

Reflection

With the end of the year almost here
I am going to do some reflecting on as many different things as I can.

Tonight I just am thankful for the growth I have had this year.
Growing pains... they aren't easy.
Most of the time they are completely uncomfortable, but I keep coming out as a better version of myself.

And ultimately, that is exactly what I want to be...