What kind of heart doesn't look back...

I was thinking back to some of my old posts that I have written...
Its been almost a year since I really started using this blog as an emotional outlet.
This has been a blessing and a curse...

Blessing because, I would go crazy if I had to keep all of these emotions inside.
Curse because, I can look back and see how crazy I have been during this process.
Blessing because, I can look back at the feelings I was having and hopefully it has helped someone else.

But there was one post that I did, about 8 months ago that is still one of my favorites
I am thinking I might go through and tag all my favorite posts that were either really helpful to write or just ones that I like to look back on.

I think this one in particular is my favorite because its my heart.
I was being completely and utterly honest
but, genuinely hopeful.
Love is my favorite thing...
and this post is my kind of love

There is not a lot I can control in life,
but these are things I can...
I am sure I could add on to this list, but its a pretty good start!

To make it easier, I will repost it here! :)
7.29.2010



Differently now...


I'm done asking myself, what could I have done differently?
Truth is... I couldn't have done anything more than I already did.
We always knew the outcome.
I did everything I could.
I tried. I tried so hard.
I loved. I loved so hard.
I wasn't perfect. but I was me.


I am going to ask now, what will I do differently now?
Truth is... I don't know what my outcome will be, but I do know somethings.
For whoever you are.. These are a few of my promises to you


I will always be honest. with myself. and you
I will love. fully. purely. genuinely. always.
I will try. but not push myself passed levels of comfort.
I will heal. to love you better. so I am better for you.
I will not compromise passed those same levels of comfort.
I will sit back and relax.
I will watch sportscenter and espn with you.
I will laugh with you. hard. stomach-ache hard.
I will lay in bed and not plan so much.
I will appreciate. and communicate the appreciation.
I will communicate. to the best of my ability.
I will listen. not talk. just listen.
I will always trust.
I will not hold myself back.
I will kiss you in the rain. every chance I get.
I will dream. BIG DREAMS.
I will support. encourage. believe. hope.
I will cuddle. snuggle. kiss. hug.
I will walk beside my love. not ahead. not behind. but beside.
I will discuss ideas. thoughts. theories. days. moods. anything.
I will love. unconditionally. for exactly who you are.
I will cook. good meals. bad meals. cookies. and cake.
I will be everything for you. but I won't do anything to be that.
I will do little surprises.
I will make you feel special. everyday.
I will remember the little things.
I will love. the biggest love I have. because I am good at it.
I will hold your hand. anytime you want me too.
I will be me.
I will build a life. home. legacy with you.
I will continue to grow by being curious. open. willing.
I will live. everyday.
I will go on adventures.
I will make more memories. documenting them as we go.
I will not keep track of right or wrong.
I will try to not be so stubborn. or prideful.
I will always be right. but when I am wrong I will tell you, you are right.
I will love you how you need to be loved.
I will complain. probably a lot.
I will wear my cute aprons to cook for you.
I will sing our favorite songs. loud in the car.
I will be silly with you.
I will always want you with me. always.
I will have movie marathons with you.
I will travel with you. anywhere you want to go.
I will talk to you about everything. and anything.
I will wear high heels. and get dressed up for no reason.
I will take you on dates.
I will slow dance with you. in candle light. in our kitchen.
I will not be scared when I am with you.
I will be proud of the man you are.
I will want to make babies with you. after we are married of course.
I will be the best. for myself first. and then for you.
I will always compliment you.
I will watch the movies you want to watch. after we watch the ones I want to watch.
I will show interest in your family. your friends. your hobbies.
I will grow old with you. and I will love every wrinkle.
I will choose you. always.
I will love you. always and for forever.