baby steps...

There are a lot of things that take time.
Mending a heart, is one of those things...
at least for me it is.
and I know it will be a very very long time
because this heart of my is very broken

But its all about baby steps.
Tonight, I cooked dinner
for the first time in 8 weeks.
I cooked dinner for one.
just me. no one else.
I ate my dinner alone.
at my dining room table. in my chair. not his.
I cleaned my dishes by myself.
instead of drying them.
It was one more piece of me shattering to pieces
but maybe, it was a baby step in the right direction...

I hate to feel and seem so dramatic
but this is me.
I know I am still lucky.
I know I am still blessed.
But I know I am still broken.


and it still sucks.

not my dinner.
but being alone. and without you.