five.years.

Side note: Forgive me if this blog rambles, or leads on to many different tangents. I have had a few ideas consuming my mind with it, but it has yet to come to fruition.. so please, bare with me. 

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

We all have an answer for this question, but how often does it follow through?
I couldn't tell you what I was going to eat for the next five meals, let alone tell you what I will be doing, or where I will be in the next five years. I have an idea of things I would like to accomplish, achieve, places I would want to be but there is no saying if it will happen or not.


Five years ago, I would not have been able to even conceive of, let alone, believe I would be the person I am today. These last five years have changed me immensely. I have been through a lot of really wonderful times, created a lot of beautiful memories, but I have also been broken in ways I didn't think people should break.

I started a process five years ago, that I did not think would take me all the way to this moment.
Its a process that many people go through, many times in their life.
I met a boy. I liked this boy (a lot).  I dated this boy.
one year. I loved this boy.
two years. I loved him even more. It wasn't always perfect. But, we always had each other.
three years. I loved him very much. We could get through anything that came our way.
four years. I loved him, he gave up on me. I was broken. I had to pick up the pieces. I had to piece myself together.

five years. I am figuring out me.  for close to five years, I identified myself through someone else. I made dreams for myself using a time line based on someone else's dreams and life.

Its still all a process. its a new process, that I am not used too.
I still meet new people.
But the last five years (even more so the last 10 months) have taught me what I know I need and know I want. It has made me more vocal. It has made me an explorer. It has made me carelessly, careful.

If someone asks me "where do you think you will be in the next five years?"- I will have an answer for them. But I am not going to try to plan my life on a five year time line block, because if there is anything I have learned its that life happens, things change when you least expect it, or when you need it the most...