Ooooooklahoma where the wind goes rushing through the plains....

Oklahoma... I am in the good ole state of the Pokes! I love this place. I love my big huge crazy family. I hate that it has to be funerals that bring us all together but I love every minute of being with my family. I am sad that I didn't grow up here and spend more time with everyone but I am so glad that I have the opportunities I have had. I love love love my family...

Its times like this I realize how very blessed I am. I have an amazing set of parents who come from caring, loving families. My dad's brother passed away and all my mom's brothers are coming to his funeral to support my parents. NOW that is LOVE.

I never question love because of the family I have come from. I will always have love with them...

There has been a crime...

There has been a crime! The victim...ME! The culprit... Target =[

After deciding I needed to get a valentines/anniversary card I thought Target was the perfect place to go... ooo was I wrong! only 30 minutes later I was 125.67 into the hole with my love for target! I did get some really cute yellow flats for 4.98! Who can't pass up shoes for 4.98!


I wish I didn't have such a love affair with Target.

#8!!!!!!

I completed #8 on my 101 in 1001 days list! and I am partially done with #7!

So I have been trying to read a lot lately! Not necessarily what I should be reading... Finance, Supply Chain Management, Legal & Ethical Business, yadda yadda

So far since Jan. 01.09 I have read 3 books!

I read:
The Shack by William P. Young- definitely a gripping book that pulls you in and gives your heart hope that you might be missing!

The Bright Forever by Lee Martin- ok this the book that helped me complete #8! Even though I would recommend any of these books, I actually recommended and gave this book to my roommate! It kept me on my toes. Its not the most hopeful and meaningful book, but it is a fictional book that keeps you turning the page. I think I enjoyed it so much because it was so honest and human. It was tragic, you were able to be sympathetic, angry, and feel for the characters that are telling you this story. Its definitely a different type of book, but these are usually the books I can read.

The Christmas Sweater by Glen "Edward Lee" Beck- this book is such a good and easy read! It makes you smile, it makes you cry, it makes you think about how you want your life to be and who you are in your life. Definitely recommend!

I am on my fourth book: The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. I figured he is my new president, whether I voted for him or not, I want to know him and I think reading his book is one of those ways.

PS! I got a new haircut today! I love it! Celeste lightened my hair, layered it lots, but kept most of my length and she put a lot more blonde in it! Love love love it!

Hope all had a fabulous day!

Boooo

Just realized I missed yesterday so this can't be my full month but I will still try to stay on top of things!

The Rock

First and foremost, I suck at this. I don't know why I find it so hard to keep this thing updated but I guess it is just a habit I need to form because I truly believe communication is the best expression of the heart.

This is going to be the start of my full month of blog updating according to my 101 list! I really am going to try to do it... I'm kind of cheating since it is the shortest month of the year, but hey it still counts!

I think I just have a hard time coming to the blog world because I don't feel like what I have to say will matter but I guess it doesn't really matter! I just feel good after talking out my heart so that is why I do this.

Its funny that the more I start to grow up, the less patience I have for idiocy. I hate that people are so inconsiderate. I hate that as a human my first reaction to being hurt is to cause that person to feel how I have. I hate that I get irritated by little things when there are MUCH bigger problems in this world. I hate that I often wear my heart on my sleeve, open to the world and all its forces. I realize how hard it is to find true friends, and people that aren't just trying to benefit from you, or use you for convenience. I wish I had everything figured out. I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me I am on the right path to true happiness. I know that life is about learning, but sometimes I don't like what I have learned.


For being as young as I am, I am far too familiar with death than I should be. It's almost to the point that I can't show emotion over the situation right away because I know how it goes. You get bad news, you wait for phone calls, whether it be minutes, days, weeks or years you'll get that one fateful phone call. Then the logical side sets in, who do you need to call, what travel plans need to be made, what plan needs to be set into action. Then when you are alone, at night is when the grief strikes. Its when you are there with just your thoughts that the sadness takes hold, and sometimes you just don't know why.

I just want a break. I don't want to have to worry about doctors appointments and test results. I don't want to only see family because we've lost a part of our love puzzle that will not quite fit the same way again. I just want to wake up and be. Be worry-free. Be happy. Just be.

The hardest part of it all is that the rock you've watched your whole life crumbles in your arms and there is nothing you can do to piece him back together. nothing.

RIP Uncle Dean. 02.01.09 Love you...