Body Image

When I was younger my Dad had a little saying...

He would tell me 'I was beautiful', and he would say

"If a boy ever tells you, 'you're beautiful' look at him and say,
 'My daddy tells me that every day, tell me something I don't already know!'"

 

I remember when I was little, I knew I was 'fuller' than my friends  

I had a bigger butt
My legs were never as small
I had an hourglass figure at the age of 8
I mean I had bangs that made me look like I had a mullet
Yes Marisa, I admit it...
I was just bigger...

But it didn't seem to matter then

I loved spending time with my friends

all the different sizes we were

I noticed our differences

But I didn't compare them

or think someone else's feature were superior over the other.

Now I notice and compare

I think about how I wish I had

Those legs

That butt

Smaller hips

Bigger boobs...

When do our issues with body image begin?

Why do they start? Who puts its in our heads?
Media, society, friends, parents, parents friends, something internal?
This sounds like something I would have discussed in my gender communications class or a topic for a sociology paper...

Don't get me wrong...

Its not a constant thing,

and for the most part,

I am happy with my body

But sometimes, dissatisfaction boils up  

Confidence, self esteem those things are taught

My parents have done a wonderful job of that.
But, I can't help but compare, knit pick, dream
about what my idea of the perfect body is...

Its tough being a girl
You go to the gym,
to be better
to feel better
to live better
but then you go home and eat chocolate because
that girl has better...
legs
butt
arms
stomach
gym clothes!

I don't know why this has been on my heart the last few days
I have been making better choices
I should feel like my efforts are helping, not making it worse
There is a chance its because the other night I jiggled when I know I shouldn't have
 (my butt jiggled when I was brushing my teeth, I know that is not supposed to be a full body exercise!!!!)
or
It might have to do with the bathing suit shopping via victoriasecret dot com

be careful... going to that website has side effects that include and are not limited too 

eating a whole bag of milk chocolate covered toffee popcorn from trader joes... enough said.

But it seems to be a hot topic, especially in the last few days with other blogs I read
One inparticular, yes and yes 
The other day there was a guest post  that resonated with me
I had been particularly hard on myself that day
About all my perfect imperfections

And what I learned was...

When my confidence isn't at its normal level

When I am feeling especially bad about a certain area of my body

I want to remember to appreciate it

Anyone could be someone's idea of 'perfect'

even me...

I may not have the best legs

but my legs get me out of bed everyday, dance the night away with my friends, hike camelback with my best friend.

I may not have perfectly toned arms

but my arms let me hug my family, friends and pick up my niece, they allow me serve others and explore life.

I may not have the most rockin' body

but my body is capable, its beautiful, its mine.

It might not be, or ever be like the Victoria Secret Models

but I want to appreciate my body.

Even on the days I have trouble with my body image

I want to appreciate it for what it is!