San Diego

San Diego

You have given me so much.
Happiness
Adventure
Love
Challenges
Exploration
Fun
Life

But sometimes... I miss when you were my escape.

Better Late than Never

Some of you might remember this post or the list of 25 things I wanted to do in my 25th year.
Well, to say I didn't finish my list would be an understatement.
Once I moved I didn't give that list a second thought.
There were times when it came to mind
But there definitely wasn't an effort to make them happen

I love to make lists
I love to cross items off my list
but I am also out of sight out of mind.
This list was just not in my sight so it wasn't in my mind.

I started thinking awhile ago I wanted to update the list a bit
I am going to change a few of these and add another for my 26th year
Maybe even cross a few off the list that I did but never "crossed" it off.

1. Read at least 12 books
a. Pride and Prejudice, must be one of those
2. Move to San Diego
3. Say yes more
4. Go on a date. by myself
5. Invest in a hobby-- bought a year membership to an outdoor boot camp
6. Go to a NFL game (Wasn't NFL but it was the OSU Homecoming game, which is even better!)
7. Run a 5k-- Did the Color Run, but didn't actually run it.  So I will keep this up
8. Watch "Gone with the Wind"
9. Join a small group/book club
10. Go salsa dancing
11. Take a day off to go on an adventure
12. Cook dinner for a friend and take it to them
13. Visit a friend in a different city/state
14. Try 'The Bar Method' work out
15. Throw a themed dinner party
16. Visit the Monterey Aquarium
17. Write a letter to my former self
18. Make bread from scratch
19. Visit the Golden Gate Bridge
20. Make new friends
21. Create a new tradition
22. Go paddle boarding
23. Try Bikram yoga or Hot yoga
24. Come up with a personal motto-- "Do something today your future self will thank you for"
25. Learn how to sew-- made pillow cases at the cabin at Thanksgiving
26. Learn how to golf

There we have it folks.
Maybe this year I will actually cross these items off the list.

Cobwebs

If the internet could have cobwebs, this little place of mine would be full of them.
This teeny, tiny, little space, that I can call mine has been neglected this last year.
Maybe it's because I am more prone to write when my heart is heavy.
Or because there has been so much adventure.
I couldn't give it justice with my words.
I guess tonight is a mixture of both.

All I know is, it is almost midnight.
I can't sleep.
The glow of my Christmas tree is the only thing bright during the dark night.
And still nothing seems to come out the way I want it too.

So, as I try to brush away some of the cobwebs here
Let's get a recap of 2012, shall we... 

It has been a full year since I moved to San Diego.
It is everything I hoped it would be.
And I am praying it continues to surprise me.

I have a wonderful job.
I know the Lord had everything to do with placing me there.
The environment I work in is full of encouragement, support and love.
It is a great place to be a part of.
The Lord knew I needed it, and I think it needed me too.

I met a wonderful man only a few short weeks after being here. 
He stole my heart the day I met him.
I haven't bothered trying to get it back yet. 
It has been a roller coaster adventure ever since.
Our story is one for the ages.
There is no doubt our paths crossed for a reason.

Life seemed to fall together once I got here.
It is amazing what risk, adventure and life all have in common.
For me, it is a dream. A longing for something more.

This last year I think I have been learning a lot about myself.
It has been lonely at times.
A little harder to make friends (outside of work) than I thought it would be.
But as this new year is chugging full speed ahead
The itch to make lists, promises, resolution begins to burn
I will take all the things I have learned this year
And only make me better.

Hopefully there will be a lot more adventure, friends, love and happiness in all our days.
And a lot less cobwebs in this little place.

xo

The Sweetest of sweets.

This just warms my heart.
There are no limits to the human spirit.
No limits to our abilities to express ourselves through dance.
This is the sweetest of sweets.

My hope

Image found here*

I hope I...

• Always believe in the good in people 
• don't limit what my generation can do 
• make other peoples day a little brighter 
• can admit when I am wrong 
• say I'm sorry when I should 
• love fully, unconditionally, forever 
• dream big dreams 

Unicorns and Glitter

For your ears:

Something in the Water- Brooke Fraser
I've Got This Friend- The Civil Wars
Psuedo Love Song- Natalie Closner
One and Only- Adele
The Beat- Ben Rector
Just a Boy- Angus & Julia Stone
Let Me Down Easy- Billy Currington
First Day of My Life- Bright Eyes
Dance with Me Baby- Ben Rector
Gettin' You Home- Chris Young
Broken Open- Cold War Kids
Mine is Yours- Cold War Kids
Stolen- Dashboard Confessional
Nothing Fancy- Dave Barnes
Until You-Dave Barnes
I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes- Dierks Bentley
Home- Edward Sharpe& The Magnetics
1234- Feist
You Picked Me- A Fine Frenzy
Only If For A Night- Florence + The Machine
The Guy that Says Goodbye to You is out of His Mind- Griffin House
Better Than Love- Griffin House
You and I- Ingrid Michaelson
Better Together- Jack Johnson
I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
Gray and Blue- JayMay
Nicest Thing- Kate Nash
Somewhere with You- Kenny Chesney
Pyro- Kings of Leon
Just a Kiss-Lady Antebellum
Airplanes- Local Natives
Awake My Soul- Mumford and Sons
Fences-Phoenix
One and Only Love- Teitur

and just for fun
Mama's Broken Heart- Miranda Lambert

My playlist that has been on repeat for the last few weeks.  

Happy Happy

I am happy.
like, really happy.

A fresh start

I don't know what it is.
I can't seem to write
The words don't come together the way they normally do

I know I write when I am broken
When the words take up too much space in my mind
They have to come out.

But I have so much going on in my head
Yet the words don't form as I want them too.

It is a new year
Which means everyone set their goals
Aspires to be healthier, eat better, be more active
People aren't going to spend frivolously, attend church more

We all do it.
Set goals to better ourselves for this New Year
With full intention of sticking to them through at least January.

I am the ultimate list maker, as many of you know
I have a list of things I want to do in my 25th year of life
But this year I didn't make a list, because I didn't want to say something I wasn't going to keep.

I have been thinking a lot about
A Fresh Start
Starting with a blank canva, no expectations, fresh pages in my story

2012 is going to be a year of New
New City
New Job
New Friends
New Routine
New Roommate
New Adventures
New Chances

I start a new job, that I could not feel more blessed by
I feel like the Lord has opened up this door for me and I could not have done it without Him.
It was Him that orchestrated it all.
His plan for my life is better than I could imagine and I hope I can give all areas of my life to His plan. Not just pick and choose what it is I am going to trust Him with.

I am in a New city which makes me happier than I have been in a long time.
Everyday I look around in Awe thinking, this place is MY home.
This new city breathes energy into me.
I am so excited for the New adventures, New chances that are in store for me

I am making New Friends and rekindling friendships.
The Lord has blessed me with a great community, which I hope to grow into.
I have been introduced to so many wonderful people in just my first couple months of being here and can't wait to see where our friendships grow.

I am rolling over my major goal of last year to this one
I want to continue to grow into the best version of myself
My heart stirs with possibilities
Knowing I can make a difference in my life by the attitudes I choose, the decisions I make.
It is a lot to take one, but one day at a time it can be done.

And having this fresh start is exactly the place to be to continue my journey.

Whatever it takes...

I know it has been awhile since I have written on here.
Excuses are excuses.
I just haven't felt the urge to write.
Even now, I want to pour words onto the page but nothing seems to be there.

Here is my attempt at an update of life right now.
I am living and loving San Diego.
I had an interview earlier this week, it went really well.
It wasn't a dream job, but it was something so I could be working again.
I did really well at the interview, and I left thinking 'Well maybe that will work...'

I had been praying a lot about it.
Talking to friends and family, having them pray for answers for me as well. 
I moved to San Diego for a change.
For a challenge.

Was it God providing me with an opportunity?
Or was it me just taking the first thing that came in front of me?
Was the Lord leading my steps?
Or was I running ahead of his plan with impatience?
Was this a job that would help me in my goals?
Or would this just be some place til something better came along?
Would it be morally right to take the job knowing I want more?
Or is any other place going to call?

Well after the interview, I got a call-
They wanted me to go forward with the process to give me an offer
I was happy it went in my favor, but still felt uncertain about it.
Was I trusting the Lord? Really leaning on Him and giving it up to Him?
 
The next day, I got another call.
They chose to go with another candidate.
I knew it was God.
It was a blessing, because it really wasn't something I wanted.
It was a blessing to be considered.
But it was a blessing to be rejected.

I am not gonna lie, as much as I didn't want the job
I didn't want them to make the decision.
The rejection kind of stung a little bit.
And then panic set in...
Am I going to find a job?
Why did it happen this way?
Couldn't I have been the one to say no, I am not interested?

And I prayed.
Prayed for understanding, patience, guidance.

The moral of this story, if there is one...
I am praising Jesus, I wasn't offered that job.
It would have been easy.
It would have been fine.
But I didn't come here for easy and fine.
I want to serve and be a part of something bigger than myself.
I know the Lord has me.
I know He will take care of this situation, I just need to lean on Him.

I wrote this prayer the other night, and it is going to be my prayer for awhile...

Lord, 

I know the plans you have for me, and I trust You. 
I feel them working in my life already. 
I know it is for You and You alone. 
Lord, whatever it takes, let me be close to You. 
Let your heart dwell in mine, and what Your will is, over power any of my own desires and wants.
Lord, help me discover my gifts. 
Help me explore my purpose. 
Put people in my life, who will invest in me and shine Your light in my life.
God, I feel you moving mountains all around me.
I pray I continue to seek Your will, and Love in all that I do. 
Father God, I trust You and You alone. 
Thank You for Your never ending Grace in my messy life. 
Thank You for making my life beautiful and worthy through Your Love. 
Lord, whatever it takes, make me close to you. 
xo 


I pray even in trials, during the hard times- I praise the Lord for the good He is doing in my life.
I pray even in easy times, happiness in life- I praise the Lord for the good He is doing in my life.
I pray even in rejection- I praise the Lord for the opportunities He is opening and closing in my life.


Whatever it takes, make me close to you Lord.

Making It Happen

I did it!
I am finally here.
After years of dreaming about it
Months talking about it
Miles to get here
I am.

I am finally living one of my dreams
This is my new town

It has been really hard for me to put any of my thoughts into words these last few days 

I was anxious, scared, excited, happy, adventurous, nervous, proud, sad all in one jumbled mess 

This is going to be good. 

I may take some wrong turns, but each one is a new opportunity 

I will make new friends, a new life while still holding on to the experiences and people who have gotten me where I am 

I have a new perspective, awareness and spark

I am really excited where this decision is going to lead 

This could be a just a pit stop in my journey 

Who knows how long I will be here before moving on 

But I am going to take it all in and enjoy every second of it! 

I am a San Diegan now

How would you live differently?

Credit

How would you live differently?

November, November

Happy November!
I can not believe it is already November, where oh where does all the time go?
A lot of things are changing this month.
I am a mixed bag of emotions
It won't always be easy but it is something good for me.
I am really excited, and hope to write a lot more about it.

Happy November!
Its a month of thankfulness
And I am thankful for you!



on a side note: Read this story today on MSN.com and my heart swelled with love. Such redemption and goodness out of something that once was so dark and hurtful.

Quotes

saw this quote earlier this week

and wanted to share it.

letting go is hard, hard, hard to do

but once you do

the past has no power over you

its been a really busy week.

started training my replacement at work.

this is all happening.

mixed emotions for sure.

but taking it all in for what it is

and excited for this next adventure.

One Year

In one year
babies change so much.

They go from sleeping, pooping and eating all the time
to crawling everywhere, whining when you hold them and aren't their momma, pooping but almost like real poop, eating lots but its not as easy as when they were little.
They get teeth, their hair grows, they smile.
They can pick out their toys, they know what they want, and are continually changing
I think most of their growth and changes has to happen in the first few years

Lily is one year old today!

I wrote this last year the day she was born:
"My niece was born today. The adventure is about to begin. I can not imagine life without her here!
It is an amazing feeling. I had no idea your heart could explode from love.
That you could be so filled with joy, love, hope, fear, excitement, worry with one sight of that little bundle of perfection.
She is perfect. absolutely. not denying it. perfection.
The love I have for her is undeniable. strong. pure. big. true. unconditional. LOVE.
God, thank you for this precious gift in my life. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to love someone this special. Thank you for putting Lily in our lives, but especially my life. The hole that I had in my heart, was instantly filled with the love I carry for her. I love this little one more than life itself already... "

It feels like she has always been with us
I really didn't know you could love someone so much, so unconditionally, so quickly.
I love that little nugget more than I can explain
So proud to be her aunt!

Lily and I last thanksgiving

Flowers on a Tuesday: Special Edition

This is about a week late, sorry Momma.*
In honor of my fabulous Mommasita though she has taught me many, many things
Here are the top ten lessons I have learned from her.

1. Remember who you are.
- Mom always says this to me when I leave the house. For a dance in high school, to hang out with friends at a football game, to now when I am an adult and going to dinner with a friend or out with the girls. She always says 'Love you. Remember who you are.' and I do, I try to remember that I am representing not only myself but my family as well when I am out.
2. Make everyone feel special when you can
- My mom is probably one of the best people in the world at making people feel special. She remembers the little things. She surprises you when you least expect it. When I was little I collected beanie babies, I just loved them. And I would come home from a normal day at school and there would be Mr. Frog on the bathroom faucet. Or Mr. Snowman sitting on my bed. Even when I grew out of my beanie baby stage, mom always has some small thing to surprise us with. And it always speaks to each person specifically.
3. Its the little things that count
- Like the one before, specialness doesn't have to be big extravagent things. Small cards with a little moola, a hug one a rough day, going out to lunch for no reason. These are all little things that truly matter.
4. Family First- you always have time for you family
-Momma has taught me the importance of family. They are with you for life, and will always be there for you NO MATTER WHAT. You can always make time for your family, you might want to be doing something else, but it is always a good time when family is together!
5. Put love in everything you do
- From dinner on a monday night, to helping me pack up my apartment my mom puts love in everything she does. She is the most genuine givers of love you will ever meet. You don't have to do anything for it in return, she gives it freely and graciously. There is nothing my mom doesn't do without a little bit of love involved.
6. Patience
-I went through (and sometimes revert back to) a phase in my life where I was m.o.o.d.y! Moooood swings!But my mom not only was patience with me during that/those times but she loves me through them. I don't know if she ever has a bad day but she never shows it. I wish I could be more like her in this way. She is always patient with everyone and everything. I am only patient with tootsie pops.
7. Coupons, Coupons, Coupons
- Anytime I get a good deal at a store, I have to call or text my mom to tell her. She is a bargain shopper. Never pays for shipping online, always finds a coupon for what she is going to buy. I think its a great quality, I mean she isn't an extreme couponer, but she does some damage with her shopping and saving. I always feel like she will be proud of me when I get a deal!  
8. You're good enough, You're smart enough and doggonit people love you
- Any major event in my life, or college exam momma would tell me this. It is one of our many family mantra's. She is always encouraging, supporting and lifting people up. I hope I can be this kind of person in other people's lives, and especially when I become a momma.
9. You are stronger than you know.
-My mom has been through a lot in her life. But she continues to amaze me with how strong she is. She can hold it together when everyone else is falling a part. She always says my dad is the type that goes running in when everyone else is running out, but I feel like she is running in just in a different way. She is always wanting to help people. And she has taught me, I can get through it. There is a bigger picture, and this is just a small piece of it.
10. Neediness isn't a bad thing
-Overall, my family is needy. We love to communicate, be with each other and I am learning it's not a bad thing. I used to joke around that when I was leaving my parents house I would have to say it 30 minutes before I actually needed to leave because mom would always find some way to talk to me about something else and keep me there longer than I should be. But I love those moments, I love this about my family. 

one for good luck, nicknames are a good thing.
-Mom can come up with a nickname for anything and everything. I have found that I do the same thing and I love it. Everyone deserves to have a good nickname, if you don't have one Momma will getcha one!

My mom has taught me so much in life. She is my best friend, and is always there for me. She takes care of me when I am sick, she loves me even when she doesn't love what I am doing, she invests in people who are important in my life. She has taught me how to love, live and laugh. I am forever grateful and blessed to have been her daughter. I pray I can be half the mom she was to me.

LYTTMAB!

Things I love: Thursday

Lily's little teeth. They are growing in. so cute. My momma. Happy Birthday Week Queenie! I promise I didn't forget, your blog post is in the works. Living at home. so far. so good. This fall-ish weather. so beautiful today. Adele pandora. jammin. Knowing you have moved on. great feeling to let go of someone who let go of you so easily. Birthday surprises. this time I was the birthday fairy. Meeting up with old friends. but staying up late on a work night is no bueno. Coffee has been my best friend this week. mmm vanilla creamer. I move to San Diego in less than a month. I know, I need to stop talking about it and just do it. Becky's Bachelorette party this weekend. Woo hoo! The brainstorming of writing a book. Any relationship advice you'd give? Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt. and edible arrangements. yummy. and of course, i love love.

I am a recovering love-aholic

So I have a secret.
Haven't I been telling a lot of those lately?
Well this might be more of a dream than a secret
Something I have always thought about but never really considered
but, I wanna write a book.

Its not necessarily on my bucket list
My ethos on any one subject is based  more off of experience and passion than actual professional knowledge and authority
But I would love to write a book about my experience with love, dating, relationships and life
In a way that could help others going through a similar season of life

I know, I know, how many books are already out there about this stuff
I have read them... He's just not that into you, Its called a break up because its broken, Why Men Love Bitches, Marry Him: The case of settling for Mr. Good Enough... shall I go on...
but the truth is, we are all searching for something
There are a lot of questions, but even more answers
Everyones story is different. Which means, everyones advice speaks differently
And that is precisely one reason I think books can and will continue to be written about this topic.

I know what you're thinking if you are still reading...
What makes your experiences and answers valid and truthful?
And I am not sure, but I hope to confidently answer those questions by the end
Oh by the way, I am co-authoring this with a friend from elementary school.
A His&Hers guide if you will... so I guess that would be at least a start on an angle!

With that being said, I was thinking about how I would introduce myself to the world, through this book
How could I establish myself as someone relatable, but trustworthy and knowledgeable.
I mean people could actually take my advice from my life experiences to better their experiences.
People would have access to my wisdom opinions on love, dating, relationships and life and use it to influence their decisions
But I my intro would go a little something like this...


I am a recovering love-aholic.  I had a knack of falling for the idea of someone more than the actual someone, an incessant need to fix, I continue to battle heart strings of letting go and have a no-good- rotten habit of putting the great guys in my life straight in the friends zone. I've been there, right where you are! Wondering if love with ever find me? Dreaming about what your love story will look like. Obsessing over what I did or said wrong.  Patiently waiting, all while impatiently wondering why the hell Mr. Right is taking so long to show up? Doesn't he know I am here, waiting? I didn't get it perfect. I made relationship mistakes. I stuck around when I should have been running for the hills, but each of those moments are a part of my love story. I hope to take my experiences and be better from them, and I hope you can do the same.
I am a love optimist twenty-something single with a desire to share my imperfect journey of my perfect love story.

well... thats a start.

Flowers on Tuesday

This week I moved into my parents
and I got to be the Birthday Fairy throwing up everywhere.
My mom does such a great job making sure we all feel special, and taking care of us
It is time she feels the same way.
I am a pro ball fluffer now
I stayed up late making sure it was Lily proofed
And I was able to surprise Momma!

She got an Edible arrangement on monday
And sorry momma, no flowers on tuesday!
Only one more sleep til your birthday!

LYBTB!

Pretty Moment

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”



-Helen Keller


Well, this weekend I gained two new roommates
Or maybe, two roommates gained a third!
Either way, I moved back in with my parents.
If it wasn't so temporary, I would really need to reflect on my life
I wouldn't have ever thought I would be 25 and living with my parents
but I am. And I couldn't be happier.
I am really looking forward to this time with them.
I am moving to San Diego in a mere 5 weeks.
It is going to fly by, we are all really busy
Life doesn't stop when things are going to change
But, we are going to soak it all up.

But this weekend, we moved me out then moved me in.
We had family dinner, watched football, walked through house plans and cleaned closets.
I get most of my best characteristics from my Momma
One being she holds onto everything!
Remember my hoarder post from last week
Well, she is a tad bit of an emotional hoarder (Like we ALL are!)
But we came across a stack of my high school graduation cards.
I told her I would go through them and pick the ones out that I wanted to keep.

My process for this is:
If the giver of the card is close to my heart, no longer living, or someone very important in my life I will keep the card.
If they are not, I cherish the kindness, say a thank you and send that paper to the recycling bin.
I usually just take a quick glance and the bottom of the card to see the signed name to make quick decisions

I had been going through about 50 cards
Separating them like a pro (USPS I am looking for a job if you need a sorter!)
When I stop dead in my track...
What?! How could this be!? Who is this? what?!
I recieved a card, for my high school graduation from...
HELEN KELLER!
Then the giggles pursued...
You see, when I have a ditzy moment my brother always pets my head and says "You're so pretty"
This was definitely one of those!

My favorite kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Sexton had written that Helen Keller quote in my card, at the bottom, in the spot people usually sign their cards!
So no, it wasn't Helen Keller who gifted me with the sweetness!
But, someone equally as special and inspirational in my life.

And yes, I kept that card!

One step

I am one step closer to
Chasing a dream
Living my life fully
Taking a risk
Chancing it all
Living it out...

I am one step closer to a new adventure today!

Happy October!