Body Image

When I was younger my Dad had a little saying...

He would tell me 'I was beautiful', and he would say

"If a boy ever tells you, 'you're beautiful' look at him and say,
 'My daddy tells me that every day, tell me something I don't already know!'"

 

I remember when I was little, I knew I was 'fuller' than my friends  

I had a bigger butt
My legs were never as small
I had an hourglass figure at the age of 8
I mean I had bangs that made me look like I had a mullet
Yes Marisa, I admit it...
I was just bigger...

But it didn't seem to matter then

I loved spending time with my friends

all the different sizes we were

I noticed our differences

But I didn't compare them

or think someone else's feature were superior over the other.

Now I notice and compare

I think about how I wish I had

Those legs

That butt

Smaller hips

Bigger boobs...

When do our issues with body image begin?

Why do they start? Who puts its in our heads?
Media, society, friends, parents, parents friends, something internal?
This sounds like something I would have discussed in my gender communications class or a topic for a sociology paper...

Don't get me wrong...

Its not a constant thing,

and for the most part,

I am happy with my body

But sometimes, dissatisfaction boils up  

Confidence, self esteem those things are taught

My parents have done a wonderful job of that.
But, I can't help but compare, knit pick, dream
about what my idea of the perfect body is...

Its tough being a girl
You go to the gym,
to be better
to feel better
to live better
but then you go home and eat chocolate because
that girl has better...
legs
butt
arms
stomach
gym clothes!

I don't know why this has been on my heart the last few days
I have been making better choices
I should feel like my efforts are helping, not making it worse
There is a chance its because the other night I jiggled when I know I shouldn't have
 (my butt jiggled when I was brushing my teeth, I know that is not supposed to be a full body exercise!!!!)
or
It might have to do with the bathing suit shopping via victoriasecret dot com

be careful... going to that website has side effects that include and are not limited too 

eating a whole bag of milk chocolate covered toffee popcorn from trader joes... enough said.

But it seems to be a hot topic, especially in the last few days with other blogs I read
One inparticular, yes and yes 
The other day there was a guest post  that resonated with me
I had been particularly hard on myself that day
About all my perfect imperfections

And what I learned was...

When my confidence isn't at its normal level

When I am feeling especially bad about a certain area of my body

I want to remember to appreciate it

Anyone could be someone's idea of 'perfect'

even me...

I may not have the best legs

but my legs get me out of bed everyday, dance the night away with my friends, hike camelback with my best friend.

I may not have perfectly toned arms

but my arms let me hug my family, friends and pick up my niece, they allow me serve others and explore life.

I may not have the most rockin' body

but my body is capable, its beautiful, its mine.

It might not be, or ever be like the Victoria Secret Models

but I want to appreciate my body.

Even on the days I have trouble with my body image

I want to appreciate it for what it is!

One Year Anniversary

One year ago today, I made one of the best life decisions with my momma!
I joined Weight Watchers, because I wanted more for myself!

Today, I felt proud, that I stuck to this lifestyle change for an entire year!

So today, Happy One Year Anniversary Momma! We did this together, all year, and I wouldn't want another partner in this!

Here is to lots more years!

Replacements...

Are you really better if you are replacing one bad habit with a new one? Have you really made any change if you just take one thing you did and supplement it with something new?

In my latest journey with weight lose I have realized I have done a lot of replacement. Some of it good, instead of eating junk food I tend to eat fruits and veggies. Some of it not so good, instead of eating when I am bored, I have turned to shopping when I am bored. And man, I have been really bored lately! I mean, I know most people like to buy new things here and there... but lately I have had URGES to go shopping! I get home from work and I am like a magnet to the mall. Its really a new bad habit I need to replace with something else. But, at least I'm not eating when I am bored! Another replacement that is BAD is, I have stopped going to starbucks but I have started to drink Diet Soda. I have never been huge on soda but lately I have been drinking Diet Dr Pepper like I own stock in the place! I need to get that under control asap!

But, I also want to say, I am thankful and blessed I can go shopping when I want too, and I have the financial means to buy things for myself. I am praying for the people in Haiti. The people who call Haiti their home, the people who have been called there for search and rescue, the people who are going there to help in the relief efforts. God has a plan, it might not be seen by us all right now, but God has a plan. I believe its already working, Haiti has needed recognition for a long time, I wish it could have been under different circumstances, but it is getting the recognition and hopefully it can be rebuilt. until then, I will pray and do what I can from here. I have hope for Haiti.

New Year... New Decade...

This year I have decided to work on a few things... I made a Top Ten for 2010 list for this year. I like goals. I love organization. I love being planned out, I even asked Joey if I could plan to be more spontaneous... he told me no, but I think I can! I want to share my goals with you so I can have some accountability. I want to share my goals because I want to make them more permanent. I want to share my goals because maybe it will help someone else make their own. So drum roll please... here we go:

Kate's Top Ten of 2010:
Long Term Goals:
1. Sign up for the P.F. Chang's Half Marathon for 2011- I will train by running the # of miles for the month # of the year.
2. Go to 52 WW meetings and NEVER be over my goal weight
3. Be a more positive/happier person by taking control of my attitude and not letting other people bring me down
4. Be less Stressed- Find an outlet for my stress: through running, yoga, reading, puzzles, etc...
5. Make myself a priority- Reward/treat myself with:pedicure, clothes, shoes, trips, etc- once a month
6. Make family more of a priority- Call my brother at least once a week, hang out with my Mom and Dad more, visit my sister and her husband at their home
7. Don't let my bank account go below a certain amount
8. Save up $3000 by spending more wisely (This will be really hard for multiple reasons but its the effort that counts, right?)
9. Pay off my Best Buy Credit Card (the only credit card I have)
10. Go to a City I have never been too... Washington D.C., Chicago, Nashville, Boston, Seattle....

Graduate College (May 13th, 2010)

I also have broken the year down into Six 8-10 week chunks to do short term goals!
I told you I like to be planned out! But what I decided is that I will have short term goals to work on during the year along with my other goals, I was going to make all the goals already but decided it would be best for me to wait until the time and pick a goal that is more prevalent for that time!

Short Term Goals:
1. Jan 1st, 2010- March 4th, 2010- I am going to try to work out 3x a week for at least an hour
2. March 5th, 2010-April 30th, 2010- TBD
3. May 1st,2010- July 3rd,2010- TBD
4. July 4th, 2010- September 10th, 2010- TBD
5. September 11th, 2010- November 5th, 2010-TBD
6. November 6th, 2010- December 31st, 2010-TBD

My Motto for this year is: If Nothing Changes... Nothing Changes.

Hope you have a great New Year!

Last Day of the Year

Sometimes when I start to get comfortable and think that I am always in control of my life, God does something to show me that he really is in control! Sometimes these moments are tragic; sometimes these moments are glorious; sometimes these moments are small; but sometimes these moments are grand.

Today I had one of those moments, thought I would call this one a small moment in my life, it could prove to be grand later on in my life. But lately, as you may know, if you've been reading, I blog a lot about my journey with Weight Watchers... Well today, the LAST day of the year- I AM A LIFETIME MEMBER!!!!! I had reached my goal weight 6 weeks ago, and I have maintained and gone below my goal weight in the 6 weeks to reach lifetime- ON THE LAST DAY OF 2009!

You know those weeks where I gained, or the weeks that I didn't lose as much as I wanted too, or the weeks I didn't work out as hard as I should have... it all happened the way it did, so I would become a lifetime member on the last day of the year! So I am going into the New Decade, prepared, encouraged and supported!

Its a great day for me. These last 14 weeks have been great weeks for me, school is great and I have made myself a priority, it feels good!

I wish you all a Happy Happy New Year! And I pray that you are all blessed and encouraged for the new year. I love you all! xoxo

Marathon?

So, I have been thinking... I might want to do the PF Chang's Rock N Roll 1/2 marathon... But I am not sure I can train for it in only 3 months! And its kind of expensive, so I wouldnt want to sign up for it and then not actually do it. Maybe I should just train like I was going to do it and do another one some other time. I am sure there are lots of marathon's around that I could do. I just was thinking maybe if I had a goal to achieve that was more permanent than just one I make up it would motivate me more to get out there. I don't know, I have never been a runner but it might be good. Maybe I should start with a new pair of running shoes! I have walking shoes, but not running!

anyone done a marathon or a 1/2 before... wanna give me some tips, encouragement, advice, all of the above!?
kk