Sometimes when your words don't work...

A songs can say it better than you ever could...

Someday When I Stop Loving You
Carrie Underwood
Play On


One foot on the bus about half past nine
I knew that you were leaving this time
I thought about laying down in its path
Thinking that you might get off for that
I remember that night we laid in bed
Naming all our kids that we hadn't had yet
One for your grandma and one for mine
Said we'd draw straws when it came time

I'll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don't need her moon
It'll break my heart but I'll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

I bet all I had on a thing called love
I guess in the end it wasn't enough
And it's hard to watch you leave right now
I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow
Somehow


I'll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don't need a moon
It'll break my heart but I'll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

Oh someday someday when I stop

I'll move on baby just like you
When the desert floods and the grass turns blue
When a sailing ship don't need a moon
It'll break my heart but I'll get through
Someday when I stop loving you

Someday when I stop loving you

on repeat... some call it torture, i call it dealing...

Love is a choice...

Love is a choice.
Your choice: To stop loving me
My choice: To love you enough to let you go...


This blog is not going to be happy for awhile.
And I am ok with that...

Hectic World

I am far from perfect.
Sometimes, I forget... Sometimes I think I am invincible, sometimes I forget my weakness and my strengths.
Sometimes, I forget to close my eyes and breathe in the moment... knowing that sometimes I will make mistakes, but it doesn't define who I am or keep me from who I want to be.

I need to be better at focusing on the really important things...
I need to focus on who I want to be, in this hectic world...

Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives

In almost all of the Communication classes I have taken, we talk about disclosure. Many of you might have heard the analogy about the onion: something about the layers being the depth or breadth, I don't really remember because food always distracts me. Sometimes disclosure can be a good thing, but when someone discloses too much information too quickly it can be uncomfortable...I don't really know where this part was going except that I don't want to disclose too much information.

But, here is a small guilty pleasure of mine... I am OBSESSED with The Foodnetwork Channel! I absolutely love to watch it, and there is about a 98% chance you turn on my tv and it will be on! I like everything but, Barefoot Contessa, she is kind of hard for me to watch. Another guilty pleasure of mine is watching Foodnetwork while I work out, it seems counterproductive but for me it really works!

haha ok, so another guilty pleasure is basically anything on Bravo, which is why this entry is so scattered because Christian Siriano is completely distracting me! haha

The main purpose for this entree is because I have a goal... I want to eat myself through America! Doesn't really go in line with my Weight Watcher goals, but I love to watch Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and I want to go to all the places in America that Guy Fieri goes too! Who is with me?!?!

Ok, commercial break is over! And so its this posting... xxoo

Just a small part of life...

Ever have a day where something happens that was unexpected, unwanted and you felt like it was undeserved... today is that day for me.

I am a senior in college, and I have worked on plenty of projects and pulled many all nighters, taken hundreds of exams and nodded off through plenty of lectures. But, I have never been as frustrated about a grade as I am right now. Before spring break I worked so hard on a group project. I spent hours writing, editing, analyzing data and ended up with a less than "acceptable" grade considering the work put into this project.

I have been really frustrated and just mad that all my time and energy could be given this unacceptable grade. And even though I know this lesson its hard to let it go completely, but it reminds me...

This is just a SMALL part of my life. This is just one grade in handful of other grades I have earned. I might not agree with it, and I might write a really mean teacher evaluation for this professor, but this is small, in the BIG scheme of things! Its hard to remember this, and its hard to not be frustrated but as my friend said, "its in the past, let it go! eff it- only 48 more days!"

ps. I may try to boycott class, and I will let you know how that goes.

pss. in case you were wondering, I got an 84% on the project...

Confused...

This picture pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now... blue, confused, anxious, disappointed but there is still opportunity there. I hate looking to far forward into the future because it makes me very anxious. My thoughts are constantly wandering the "What If" aisle in my brain. What happens if I do this, or what if I did this? And how could this happen again, and what is it going to do to my future? These questions have been plaguing me today... I try to get around them, forget them, distract them but ultimately they are still there.

I don't know what else to say because there is a chance I just have too much to say... but I am warning you now... I am praying for a sign, and lets hope the Big guy reads my blog so he knows which one to send!