46. Get mad, real mad

Lesson 46. Its ok to be mad at God, let him know when you are- He already knows anyways...

Sometimes we want to live in a bunnies and rainbows kind of world
Where nothing goes wrong,
Everything works out always.
I mean, shoot, we always want to live in that kind of world

but, that doesn't exist.
Life happens
It happens everyday
Somedays it goes in a manner which we can be really excited and want this day continue
Somedays, you want to spend the whole day in fetal position under the covers

You don't have to pretend with God
You don't have to act like everything is going fabulously, when its not
You don't have to smile at Him, when all you want to do is cry

He wants you to be real with Him
He wants you to be honest with Him
He wants you to know that it won't always go your way
He has a bigger plan than you can even imagine waiting for you.

So get mad when you need to get mad
Let it out
because He is listening
He is there with open arms
So once you stop kicking and hitting, He can embrace you.

be quiet dear

with thoughtless and impatient hands

we tangle up the plans the Lord hath wrought

and when we cry in pain, He saith,

"be quite dear, while I untie the knot."

-unknown

Favorites

I am going to try to be a little more vigilant in posting
Not for you, but for me.
I love writing. I love expressing myself. I love communicating, in all forms.

This is one of my favorite blogs.
I mean, I check it everyday first thing in the morning.
I love all the different quotes
but also, the advice.
There is always a theme, and it always seems on target with what is going on in your own personal life.
It is definitely a fave of mine!

You should check it out so you can be
smarter, prettier and (less) awkwarder! 

Falling

I always fall for ideas
I get sucked up into what it could be
instead of what is right in front of me
instead of what it truly is.

Have you ever come up with an idea of a dress you want?
You build it in your mind, and you go looking for it and can't find it anywhere..
I am pretty sure that happens to me every birthday.

Or have an idea of what your dream job is?
Then you search and search for it, and it is nothing like you imagined.

Worst yet, have you ever had an idea of what your life would be like at a certain time of your life?
And then you get to that time, and life is nothing like what you had hoped for or dreamed of.
You created this idea, that can't really be reached.

Maybe this is all because we think we have more control than we do
Its because its so hard to Trust God's plan since you don't know what it is
These ideas are better than what you are living right now
They seem more fulfilling

I wish the idea of something was harder to fall for
and easier to let go of. 

How He Loves

This song has been on my heart for the last week or so.
I just think it is a beautiful way to see God.

David Crowder Band- How He Loves

Heart Matters

Sometimes, it is so hard to follow your heart
especially when it feels like its hurting,
or going against what your heart really wants 
But this is when you have to trust the Lord

Lord, I am trusting in your plan. 
Your plan is bigger than I can imagine. 
I trust that You want only good for me. 

His plans are better, more beautiful, stronger, more fulfilling
than any plan I could ever try to pull together. ever ever.

Sometimes that great love story you were trying to create
is really one of those straight to DVD stories
because you were trying to produce it, direct it, edit it, do the costuming and picking the actors in your story.

It doesn't work that way.
I am not in control of this part of my story.
I am learning to truly Trust the Lord's plan for my heart matters...

I have been reading a new book, Classic Christianity by Bob George,
and to be honest, at first my heart was not open to it
it felt too preachy, boastful and a little too macho...
but that is probably how I was reading it.
Earlier this week, I needed some place to feel God
I picked up the book...

I needed the Lord to speak to my heart. I needed my heart to be open to the message.

And the words on the pages began to pop out to me. 
Grace. Beloved. Alive. Mercy. Love. Trust Forgiven. 
over. and over. and over again. 

I am the Lord's beloved. 
He chooses me, everytime.
Trust the Lord. really, really trust Him.
He is jealous for me. for ME- even with my sinful nature, being spiritually dead, the mistakes I make on the daily.  
He, Creator of all things, is jealous for me...
His mercy and grace are an ocean.
He loves me, always.
He wants to be my main squeeze.

He has forgiven me for the mistakes I can't forgive myself for. and tells me I need to forgive myself, that is no way to live.
He loves me even the parts that I don't think anyone else could love. And if a person can't love those things about me, then they don't deserve to try to love me.
He has made me alive. and He wants me to live a life through Him. which is more satisfying than I can imagine.


Its hard to even try to comprehend, in the smallest amount, how vast God's love is for me, you, us.
Let alone accept his unfaltering, undeserving, unconditional love
Its hard to believe His consistent desire for me to be near Him
His incredibly warm embrace.

But, I am here.
I know I can be loved, because I am His Beloved.

i am my beloved's 
and his desire is for 
me. 
song of solomon 7:10 *
 

Prayer for the day: Creator of all things beautiful and complicated. I pray I can trust in Your master plan. I will let go of my need to control and my thinking I can do it better. I pray I can always accept Your love, without question because You never question Your love for me.

*Thanks Carley.

Hazy

Thank you Pandora...

Rosi Golan- Hazy