Bright Eyes- First Day of My Life

I just love this song.
Then I saw the video, and it made me love it even more.

Cycle

If you do what you have always done; you'll get what you always got. 
If nothing changes, nothing changes. 
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
 
There is a cycle that we all get into,
I think we thrive for routine and comfort
But most of the time the cycle is really hard to break

Sometimes you just have to be strong enough
And break the cycles in your life that are doing more harm than good.

It could be the hardest thing
but it will be worth it...

Just a quick little note before heading off to bed- sleep tight

Picture by Steve Hanks*

do not go where the path may lead. go instead where there is no path and leave a trail...

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me

I'm only one voice in a million, and you ain't takin' that from me

I don't need a microphone to say what I've been thinkin', my heart is like a loud speaker

Potential

When you have as many ideas, thoughts, worries, conversations with yourself as I do, it makes blogging really easy.

I woke up with so many ideas of things I needed to talk about.
As I get a little older, I am realizing that I can not bottle stuff up
It is no good for me. I need to get it out in the open and face it head on.

I was talking to a good friend one day and she gave me a really good piece of advice that I am hanging on to right now. It is helping me make the best decisions for myself. This is not exactly what my friend said, but it is how I interpreted it, and how I have changed it to fit my circumstances...

"Don't rely or bet on someone else's potential for your life. Most of the time they never see the potential you see in them, and the will rarely ever reach their full potential."

I have spent a lot of my life relying on other peoples potential to be who I see them as.
And I am very guilty of only seeing the good in people (which isn't necessarily bad, unless its giving them too much credit)
I can't continue to bet on someone else's potential
I just need to worry about reaching my own full potential and all the pieces will fall where they are supposed too.

Actions Speak Louder than Words

I know you are all sick of my roller coaster of emotions.
...because trust me, i am freaking sick of it as well...
I am really struggling with having my heart feel what my head knows.
It just isn't on the same page right now

I know what I want in life:
I want God.
I want Love.
I want Health and Happiness.
I want a family.
I want someone who stands besides me.

But most of all I struggle with the want of: Love
I know so many things
   I know if I am looking for it, it won't come.
   I know its not something you can force.
   I know you have to know and love yourself to be open to that kind of love.
   You have to have a full heart, to love that kind of love
   I know, if you let love go and it never comes back it was never yours yadda yadda

I know these common rules and thoughts about love...
Yet, I don't follow those rules.
I try so often to do it my way.
Well... my way D.O.E.S. N.O.T. work

I can't have it all.
I have to make sacrifices
I have to make the choice to do what's right
even when its soo frackin' hard.

I am always so worried about hurting other people
To the point where I will put myself through the mill to keep someone else happy,
or give someone else what they want,
But what about me? 

How do I continue to let you hurt me
even after so much time has gone
Your actions speak a lot louder than words....
and you'll never know how much they both hurt 

Starting today
Starting right now...
I'm doing me
for me

I can't hold onto the burden of the mistakes you chose to make 

2011

I tend to bite off more than I can chew
I have really high expectations for myself in everything I do.

I usually am really into making lists and goals
but the problem with lists and goals is most of the time they aren't accomplished
especially when you have a full year to finish them.

This year my "resolution" is encompassed in one term:

'Continue to become the best version of myself'

I know that this will not happen overnight, in a few months, or even in this year
It is going to be a continual process of making the best, and right decisions for myself
Being the best person I can be in every situation.
Being the friend that I need to be to others.
Sticking to my word
Not always wearing my heart on my sleeve 
Living the best possible life I can for me
Learning from the hard times
Laughing through the good times
Encouraging, Supporting others.
But not being afraid to say I need help.
Being healthier, and more active
Letting go of emotions I no longer need to hold on too
Cultivating hobbies, interests, dreams

This year I am picking myself up
brushing myself off
moving forward (and on) in every experience
to be the best version of myself.