Miss Kate's Take

A fresh start

2012-01-03T22:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is.
I can't seem to write
The words don't come together the way they normally do

I know I write when I am broken
When the words take up too much space in my mind
They have to come out.

But I have so much going on in my head
Yet the words don't form as I want them too.

It is a new year
Which means everyone set their goals
Aspires to be healthier, eat better, be more active
People aren't going to spend frivolously, attend church more

We all do it.
Set goals to better ourselves for this New Year
With full intention of sticking to them through at least January.

I am the ultimate list maker, as many of you know
I have a list of things I want to do in my 25th year of life
But this year I didn't make a list, because I didn't want to say something I wasn't going to keep.

I have been thinking a lot about
A Fresh Start
Starting with a blank canva, no expectations, fresh pages in my story

2012 is going to be a year of New
New City
New Job
New Friends
New Routine
New Roommate
New Adventures
New Chances

I start a new job, that I could not feel more blessed by
I feel like the Lord has opened up this door for me and I could not have done it without Him.
It was Him that orchestrated it all.
His plan for my life is better than I could imagine and I hope I can give all areas of my life to His plan. Not just pick and choose what it is I am going to trust Him with.

I am in a New city which makes me happier than I have been in a long time.
Everyday I look around in Awe thinking, this place is MY home.
This new city breathes energy into me.
I am so excited for the New adventures, New chances that are in store for me

I am making New Friends and rekindling friendships.
The Lord has blessed me with a great community, which I hope to grow into.
I have been introduced to so many wonderful people in just my first couple months of being here and can't wait to see where our friendships grow.

I am rolling over my major goal of last year to this one
I want to continue to grow into the best version of myself
My heart stirs with possibilities
Knowing I can make a difference in my life by the attitudes I choose, the decisions I make.
It is a lot to take one, but one day at a time it can be done.

And having this fresh start is exactly the place to be to continue my journey.

Whatever it takes...

2011-12-09T00:37:00.000-08:00

I know it has been awhile since I have written on here.
Excuses are excuses.
I just haven't felt the urge to write.
Even now, I want to pour words onto the page but nothing seems to be there.

Here is my attempt at an update of life right now.
I am living and loving San Diego.
I had an interview earlier this week, it went really well.
It wasn't a dream job, but it was something so I could be working again.
I did really well at the interview, and I left thinking 'Well maybe that will work...'

I had been praying a lot about it.
Talking to friends and family, having them pray for answers for me as well.
I moved to San Diego for a change.
For a challenge.

Was it God providing me with an opportunity?
Or was it me just taking the first thing that came in front of me?
Was the Lord leading my steps?
Or was I running ahead of his plan with impatience?
Was this a job that would help me in my goals?
Or would this just be some place til something better came along?
Would it be morally right to take the job knowing I want more?
Or is any other place going to call?

Well after the interview, I got a call-
They wanted me to go forward with the process to give me an offer
I was happy it went in my favor, but still felt uncertain about it.
Was I trusting the Lord? Really leaning on Him and giving it up to Him?

The next day, I got another call.
They chose to go with another candidate.
I knew it was God.
It was a blessing, because it really wasn't something I wanted.
It was a blessing to be considered.
But it was a blessing to be rejected.

I am not gonna lie, as much as I didn't want the job
I didn't want them to make the decision.
The rejection kind of stung a little bit.
And then panic set in...
Am I going to find a job?
Why did it happen this way?
Couldn't I have been the one to say no, I am not interested?

And I prayed.
Prayed for understanding, patience, guidance.

The moral of this story, if there is one...
I am praising Jesus, I wasn't offered that job.
It would have been easy.
It would have been fine.
But I didn't come here for easy and fine.
I want to serve and be a part of something bigger than myself.
I know the Lord has me.
I know He will take care of this situation, I just need to lean on Him.

I wrote this prayer the other night, and it is going to be my prayer for awhile...

Lord,

I know the plans you have for me, and I trust You.
I feel them working in my life already.
I know it is for You and You alone.
Lord, whatever it takes, let me be close to You.
Let your heart dwell in mine, and what Your will is, over power any of my own desires and wants.
Lord, help me discover my gifts.
Help me explore my purpose.
Put people in my life, who will invest in me and shine Your light in my life.
God, I feel you moving mountains all around me.
I pray I continue to seek Your will, and Love in all that I do.
Father God, I trust You and You alone.
Thank You for Your never ending Grace in my messy life.
Thank You for making my life beautiful and worthy through Your Love.
Lord, whatever it takes, make me close to you.
xo

I pray even in trials, during the hard times- I praise the Lord for the good He is doing in my life.
I pray even in easy times, happiness in life- I praise the Lord for the good He is doing in my life.
I pray even in rejection- I praise the Lord for the opportunities He is opening and closing in my life.

Whatever it takes, make me close to you Lord.

Making It Happen

2011-11-14T09:09:00.000-08:00

I did it!
I am finally here.
After years of dreaming about it
Months talking about it
Miles to get here
I am.

I am finally living one of my dreams
This is my new town

It has been really hard for me to put any of my thoughts into words these last few days

I was anxious, scared, excited, happy, adventurous, nervous, proud, sad all in one jumbled mess

This is going to be good.

I may take some wrong turns, but each one is a new opportunity

I will make new friends, a new life while still holding on to the experiences and people who have gotten me where I am

I have a new perspective, awareness and spark

I am really excited where this decision is going to lead

This could be a just a pit stop in my journey

Who knows how long I will be here before moving on

But I am going to take it all in and enjoy every second of it!

I am a San Diegan now

How would you live differently?

2011-11-07T09:05:00.000-08:00

Credit

How would you live differently?

November, November

2011-11-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Happy November!
I can not believe it is already November, where oh where does all the time go?
A lot of things are changing this month.
I am a mixed bag of emotions
It won't always be easy but it is something good for me.
I am really excited, and hope to write a lot more about it.

Happy November!
Its a month of thankfulness
And I am thankful for you!

on a side note: Read this story today on MSN.com and my heart swelled with love. Such redemption and goodness out of something that once was so dark and hurtful.

Quotes

2011-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

saw this quote earlier this week

and wanted to share it.

letting go is hard, hard, hard to do

but once you do

the past has no power over you

its been a really busy week.

started training my replacement at work.

this is all happening.

mixed emotions for sure.

but taking it all in for what it is

and excited for this next adventure.

One Year

2011-10-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

In one year
babies change so much.

They go from sleeping, pooping and eating all the time
to crawling everywhere, whining when you hold them and aren't their momma, pooping but almost like real poop, eating lots but its not as easy as when they were little.
They get teeth, their hair grows, they smile.
They can pick out their toys, they know what they want, and are continually changing
I think most of their growth and changes has to happen in the first few years

Lily is one year old today!

I wrote this last year the day she was born:
"My niece was born today. The adventure is about to begin. I can not imagine life without her here!
It is an amazing feeling. I had no idea your heart could explode from love.
That you could be so filled with joy, love, hope, fear, excitement, worry with one sight of that little bundle of perfection.
She is perfect. absolutely. not denying it. perfection.
The love I have for her is undeniable. strong. pure. big. true. unconditional. LOVE.
God, thank you for this precious gift in my life. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to love someone this special. Thank you for putting Lily in our lives, but especially my life. The hole that I had in my heart, was instantly filled with the love I carry for her. I love this little one more than life itself already... "

It feels like she has always been with us
I really didn't know you could love someone so much, so unconditionally, so quickly.
I love that little nugget more than I can explain
So proud to be her aunt!

Lily and I last thanksgiving

Flowers on a Tuesday: Special Edition

2011-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

This is about a week late, sorry Momma.*
In honor of my fabulous Mommasita though she has taught me many, many things
Here are the top ten lessons I have learned from her.

1. Remember who you are.
- Mom always says this to me when I leave the house. For a dance in high school, to hang out with friends at a football game, to now when I am an adult and going to dinner with a friend or out with the girls. She always says 'Love you. Remember who you are.' and I do, I try to remember that I am representing not only myself but my family as well when I am out.
2. Make everyone feel special when you can
- My mom is probably one of the best people in the world at making people feel special. She remembers the little things. She surprises you when you least expect it. When I was little I collected beanie babies, I just loved them. And I would come home from a normal day at school and there would be Mr. Frog on the bathroom faucet. Or Mr. Snowman sitting on my bed. Even when I grew out of my beanie baby stage, mom always has some small thing to surprise us with. And it always speaks to each person specifically.
3. Its the little things that count
- Like the one before, specialness doesn't have to be big extravagent things. Small cards with a little moola, a hug one a rough day, going out to lunch for no reason. These are all little things that truly matter.
4. Family First- you always have time for you family
-Momma has taught me the importance of family. They are with you for life, and will always be there for you NO MATTER WHAT. You can always make time for your family, you might want to be doing something else, but it is always a good time when family is together!
5. Put love in everything you do
- From dinner on a monday night, to helping me pack up my apartment my mom puts love in everything she does. She is the most genuine givers of love you will ever meet. You don't have to do anything for it in return, she gives it freely and graciously. There is nothing my mom doesn't do without a little bit of love involved.
6. Patience
-I went through (and sometimes revert back to) a phase in my life where I was m.o.o.d.y! Moooood swings!But my mom not only was patience with me during that/those times but she loves me through them. I don't know if she ever has a bad day but she never shows it. I wish I could be more like her in this way. She is always patient with everyone and everything. I am only patient with tootsie pops.
7. Coupons, Coupons, Coupons
- Anytime I get a good deal at a store, I have to call or text my mom to tell her. She is a bargain shopper. Never pays for shipping online, always finds a coupon for what she is going to buy. I think its a great quality, I mean she isn't an extreme couponer, but she does some damage with her shopping and saving. I always feel like she will be proud of me when I get a deal!
8. You're good enough, You're smart enough and doggonit people love you
- Any major event in my life, or college exam momma would tell me this. It is one of our many family mantra's. She is always encouraging, supporting and lifting people up. I hope I can be this kind of person in other people's lives, and especially when I become a momma.
9. You are stronger than you know.
-My mom has been through a lot in her life. But she continues to amaze me with how strong she is. She can hold it together when everyone else is falling a part. She always says my dad is the type that goes running in when everyone else is running out, but I feel like she is running in just in a different way. She is always wanting to help people. And she has taught me, I can get through it. There is a bigger picture, and this is just a small piece of it.
10. Neediness isn't a bad thing
-Overall, my family is needy. We love to communicate, be with each other and I am learning it's not a bad thing. I used to joke around that when I was leaving my parents house I would have to say it 30 minutes before I actually needed to leave because mom would always find some way to talk to me about something else and keep me there longer than I should be. But I love those moments, I love this about my family.

one for good luck, nicknames are a good thing.
-Mom can come up with a nickname for anything and everything. I have found that I do the same thing and I love it. Everyone deserves to have a good nickname, if you don't have one Momma will getcha one!

My mom has taught me so much in life. She is my best friend, and is always there for me. She takes care of me when I am sick, she loves me even when she doesn't love what I am doing, she invests in people who are important in my life. She has taught me how to love, live and laugh. I am forever grateful and blessed to have been her daughter. I pray I can be half the mom she was to me.

LYTTMAB!

Things I love: Thursday

2011-10-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

Lily's little teeth. They are growing in. so cute. My momma. Happy Birthday Week Queenie! I promise I didn't forget, your blog post is in the works. Living at home. so far. so good. This fall-ish weather. so beautiful today. Adele pandora. jammin. Knowing you have moved on. great feeling to let go of someone who let go of you so easily. Birthday surprises. this time I was the birthday fairy. Meeting up with old friends. but staying up late on a work night is no bueno. Coffee has been my best friend this week. mmm vanilla creamer. I move to San Diego in less than a month. I know, I need to stop talking about it and just do it. Becky's Bachelorette party this weekend. Woo hoo! The brainstorming of writing a book. Any relationship advice you'd give? Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt. and edible arrangements. yummy. and of course, i love love.

I am a recovering love-aholic

2011-10-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

So I have a secret.
Haven't I been telling a lot of those lately?
Well this might be more of a dream than a secret
Something I have always thought about but never really considered
but, I wanna write a book.

Its not necessarily on my bucket list
My ethos on any one subject is based more off of experience and passion than actual professional knowledge and authority
But I would love to write a book about my experience with love, dating, relationships and life
In a way that could help others going through a similar season of life

I know, I know, how many books are already out there about this stuff
I have read them... He's just not that into you, Its called a break up because its broken, Why Men Love Bitches, Marry Him: The case of settling for Mr. Good Enough... shall I go on...
but the truth is, we are all searching for something
There are a lot of questions, but even more answers
Everyones story is different. Which means, everyones advice speaks differently
And that is precisely one reason I think books can and will continue to be written about this topic.

I know what you're thinking if you are still reading...
What makes your experiences and answers valid and truthful?
And I am not sure, but I hope to confidently answer those questions by the end
Oh by the way, I am co-authoring this with a friend from elementary school.
A His&Hers guide if you will... so I guess that would be at least a start on an angle!

With that being said, I was thinking about how I would introduce myself to the world, through this book
How could I establish myself as someone relatable, but trustworthy and knowledgeable.
I mean people could actually take my advice from my life experiences to better their experiences.
People would have access to my ~~wisdom~~ opinions on love, dating, relationships and life and use it to influence their decisions
But I my intro would go a little something like this...

I am a recovering love-aholic. I had a knack of falling for the idea of someone more than the actual someone, an incessant need to fix, I continue to battle heart strings of letting go and have a no-good- rotten habit of putting the great guys in my life straight in the friends zone. I've been there, right where you are! Wondering if love with ever find me? Dreaming about what your love story will look like. Obsessing over what I did or said wrong. Patiently waiting, all while impatiently wondering why the hell Mr. Right is taking so long to show up? Doesn't he know I am here, waiting? I didn't get it perfect. I made relationship mistakes. I stuck around when I should have been running for the hills, but each of those moments are a part of my love story. I hope to take my experiences and be better from them, and I hope you can do the same.
I am a love optimist twenty-something single with a desire to share my imperfect journey of my perfect love story.

well... thats a start.

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

This week I moved into my parents
and I got to be the Birthday Fairy throwing up everywhere.
My mom does such a great job making sure we all feel special, and taking care of us
It is time she feels the same way.
I am a pro ball fluffer now
I stayed up late making sure it was Lily proofed
And I was able to surprise Momma!

She got an Edible arrangement on monday
And sorry momma, no flowers on tuesday!
Only one more sleep til your birthday!

LYBTB!

Pretty Moment

2011-10-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

-Helen Keller

Well, this weekend I gained two new roommates
Or maybe, two roommates gained a third!
Either way, I moved back in with my parents.
If it wasn't so temporary, I would really need to reflect on my life
I wouldn't have ever thought I would be 25 and living with my parents
but I am. And I couldn't be happier.
I am really looking forward to this time with them.
I am moving to San Diego in a mere 5 weeks.
It is going to fly by, we are all really busy
Life doesn't stop when things are going to change
But, we are going to soak it all up.

But this weekend, we moved me out then moved me in.
We had family dinner, watched football, walked through house plans and cleaned closets.
I get most of my best characteristics from my Momma
One being she holds onto everything!
Remember my hoarder post from last week
Well, she is a tad bit of an emotional hoarder (Like we ALL are!)
But we came across a stack of my high school graduation cards.
I told her I would go through them and pick the ones out that I wanted to keep.

My process for this is:
If the giver of the card is close to my heart, no longer living, or someone very important in my life I will keep the card.
If they are not, I cherish the kindness, say a thank you and send that paper to the recycling bin.
I usually just take a quick glance and the bottom of the card to see the signed name to make quick decisions

I had been going through about 50 cards
Separating them like a pro (USPS I am looking for a job if you need a sorter!)
When I stop dead in my track...
What?! How could this be!? Who is this? what?!
I recieved a card, for my high school graduation from...
HELEN KELLER!
Then the giggles pursued...
You see, when I have a ditzy moment my brother always pets my head and says "You're so pretty"
This was definitely one of those!

My favorite kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Sexton had written that Helen Keller quote in my card, at the bottom, in the spot people usually sign their cards!
So no, it wasn't Helen Keller who gifted me with the sweetness!
But, someone equally as special and inspirational in my life.

And yes, I kept that card!

One step

2011-10-01T22:39:00.001-07:00

I am one step closer to
Chasing a dream
Living my life fully
Taking a risk
Chancing it all
Living it out...

I am one step closer to a new adventure today!

Happy October!

Things I love: Thursday

2011-09-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

Things I am loving this week or always...

Lily sneezes. baby sneezes are the best. Halloween Oreo's- they are the only ones I allow myself to buy. Fall, everything Fall. The colors, the smells, the tastes, the weather bring it on Fall! Motown station on Pandora. It is the best for packing and cleaning. Packing... wait, I don't love packing but the reason I am packing. Weight Watchers! Hello, Two Year Anniversary! Dr. Pepper. counterintuitive to aforementioned love, but it keeps me going at work! Moving to San Diego in X# of days! eeeeee! The secret I am having to keep. sooo hard, but so worth it. Someone is about to turn One! Liiiiiiily! Football and beer. No better way to spend a sunday with my best friend. Dinner dates with Tori. Family dinners. about to become the norm. Emailing back and forth with a good friend. talking about you, Megan! and of course, I love love.

Journal Day over on Sometimes Sweet

2011-09-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is a long one...

Credit: Sometimes Sweet Journal Day ****

Sometimes Sweet is one of my daily reads
I love when she does Journal Days because they give people more of a focus and purpose to write.
I find myself embarassed on Tattoo Tuesdays because I am one of those people that always admires others tattoos and want to talk about them even though I don't have any of my own.
I admire her positive and supportive attitude.
She has an adorable family whom she is so proud of.

This will be the first Journal Day I have participated in but it is one that resonates with me.

Journal Day V4.
Looking at all of the life you've lived so far, can you pinpoint one time frame or instance that you feel truly contributed to your growth as a person? This may be a turning point, a positive or negative experience, a moment or collection of moments that stand out in your mind...something that changed you as a whole.

I have been blessed with an amazing family.
We have always been closer than most.
I catch my parents slow dancing in the kitchen on a regular basis.
My brother and I, are best friends granted this is more after we both became adults and moved out of our parents house.
My sister and I work(ed) in a 9x9 office five days a week for six years

I didn't realize that my family lifestyle wasn't the norm until the last few years.

Left to Right: Sister&Husband, Momma and Papa, Brother&I

There are two moments in life which I would consider turning points that have significantly influenced my growth into the person I am today.

1. My momma being diagnosed with breast cancer
2. Having my heart broken after a four+ year relationship

Though they happened a couple years a part, I realize now, one event would be setting me up for the other.

You see, when my mom was diagnosed, our world shattered to pieces. Mom's are the glue to every family, especially mine. Being threatened to have this person taken from your life, is really hard. When you can't do anything to make someone better, it is really hard. When you are the baby of the family and you become your momma's emergency contact on her medical forms, it is really hard. Still to this day, I don't how she did it with a smile on her face and love in her heart.

As devastating as this time was for my family, we were beyond blessed by it. As I mentioned before, my family has always been close but now we were a fighting unit. We were going through this journey like the world champion side of Red Rover. Red rover, Red rover send cancer right over because we are going to kick. its. ass.

Fast forward two years: I am in my last few weeks of college. I have been dating a handsome boy for just over four years and though we had our not so happy times, things were always good. We were madly in love. He was my best friend. He was my support when my mom was diagnosed. He was my movie buddy, my dinner date, my snuggler and snowboarding teacher. He wasn't a planner, never could be on time, spontaneous. He was everything I wasn't. We evened each other out.

I couldn't remember life before him, and I didn't want to know what life would be like after him. We had our differences: I grew up in a Christian home, he was a steadfast Atheist. I enjoyed an adult beverage here and there, he didn't drink- at all. I was a preppy lil blonde girl who had a thing for the bad boys; he was a bad boy with the softest heart covered in tattoos, gauges and piercings with a thing for blondes. He was raised in the Bay area by his beautiful Momma, I grew up in Chandler Arizona. I have dreamed of getting married, having 2.5 kids; he hadn't seen a marriage work and didn't have any plans to marry. It never should've worked or really even happen. I had started re-hanging out with an old friend who was driving to San Diego for a BMX competition. He had just moved to Arizona and was forced to go on the road trip, since his roommate was going as well. And the rest was history. I have always believed and trusted in love. I knew we loved each other, and though these differences made certains areas of our relationship more difficult, more diverse, love was all we needed.

Then it happened. He was done. I wasn't everything he needed me to be. I wasn't who he wanted. I was crushed. but a little relieved. it was like 98% crushed/2% relieved mind you. We had had talks before, but I always fought it. I always said I would change. I would be better. I didn't want to lose what we had. But something changed this time. That relief I felt, it was my small chance to get the life I dreamt about. To have someone who wanted to be a better man because of me. Wanted to make me his wife, not his permanent girlfriend. Invested in my friends and hobbies... This time, I fought it a little bit. I told him things would be different, we could work on it. We went to dinner and things seemed like they did everytime we had one of these serious conversations. But the next morning, he was gone. The person I loved turned into someone I didn't know. But so was I, I didn't fight it like I always had. I was losing my best friend. The person who knew me better than most anyone. This time, I knew I needed to let it go for me.

The next few ~~weeks~~ months were a blur. I had to force myself to eat, force myself to go to school (oh yea, did I mention I was graduating college two weeks after I had my heart broken), force myself to the gym. Force a smile and hold back tears on the regular. I remember one time so vividly, I was driving to my spin class and I turned around in the middle of the road and went straight home into bed and didn't leave for two days. The only thing I really remember during this time was my family. My mom being my support, my movie buddy. My sister forcing me to eat at work and keeping me busy. My dad holding me when I was crying. I couldn't have made it through that time without them. They listened to me over and over again. They let me cry in silence, or forced me to hug it out with them. They distracted me. Prayed for me. Let me be mad and sad. They were sweeping up all the pieces of my heart and holding onto them. And when I was ready to start putting it back together, they were there glue guns, duct tape and staplers in hand.

Its been over a year since 'The Break-up' and it was one of the best and hardest things that has happened to me. Sure, I miss him. I miss what we had. But the person I am now, was worth it. I am so much stronger than I was. I know myself better now than before. I have invested in my own hobbies and friends, instead of compromising to accomodate someone elses lifestyle. I have found my voice, to speak up for my hopes, desires and dreams. I have learned my non-negotiables. I learned a lot from that relationship and break up, which is making me better for my future. I know too much about myself now to let go back. Please don't get me wrong, he is a great guy just not my great guy. I look back on our memories with a smile on my face, and warmth in my heart because I can see my growth. There are so many positive things that came from that negative time. I am blessed by those struggles.

It has been almost four years since Bev's Boobie Brigade was formed and though it was a really challenging time in all of our lives we wouldn't change it. My mom is healthy, our family is closer than ever, and we were able to share our faith, lean on the Lord and not be another statistic. I learned how important family is, how strong blood can be. We don't take each other for granted like we once did. We make time for each other as often as we can. I am a part of something greater than myself, a family unit others would love to be in.

I have been changed as a whole in the last four years. My heart is not the same heart I had before but as great as all of these new changes in me have been, what sticks out most is how incredible my family is. My family has changed as a whole, and it is something beautiful to be a part of. Through it all, thick and thin. Whether it be cancer or a break up... we are the world champion side of Red Rover. We stand strong in our faith, we stand strong in our family, nothing can break the chain we have been made into.

At a lost for words

2011-09-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I want what I have to say here to be profound, insightful, important.
I don't want to just ramble on and on, though sometimes that helps
Really, I am my own audience.
What I say here is because it is on my heart and mind
It needs to come out, so this is my little place to do so.

Well right now, I have either too much or nothing on my heart and mind.
I am pretty sure its the first of these two options
I can't seem to form a sentence, choose an idea or topic to write about.

There are a lot of things which are changing in these next few weeks.
Part of me is questioning if this is what God wants or what I want.
I want to feel God in my choices, decisions
I trust Him
But right now, I am being my own devils advocate.

I am stressed, worried, still feeling sad and hurt...
I am excited, overwhelmed, blessed and hopeful for what is to come.

I am basically a big ball of all kinds of emotions.
Not sure if I want to cry or laugh.
So I am just going to breathe and smile.
and probably binge eat on some halloween oreos

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-09-27T23:34:00.001-07:00

This weekend I was blessed to help surprise my best friend. You see, she's from the burbs outside of Chicago. All her family is back home and they are all very close! Well her cousin contacted me on facebook to see if I could assist in revealing to my best friend that she (the cousin) was pregnant!! It was so hard keeping the secret! I love surprises so it was well worth it! I was able to get sprinkles cupcakes with little baby bottles on top, get the bfs cousin on skype, and trick the bf into looking at my computer only to see her cousin staring back! We didn't have much time to plan it out perfectly but it turned out wonderfully!

It was really wonderful to see that even with the distance you can still be a part of special things! I was blessed to be a part of their celebration this weekend!

What happened to you that is as good as getting flowers on a tuesday?

Things I love:Thursdays and Link Mash up!

2011-09-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

because he will always be my first true love! Father Daughter dance recital!

Since I missed my Things I love:Thursday post yesterday. And I really want to try to stay with my Friday Links I love; I'm going to do a Mash up on both!

Things I love: Lily has my entire family wrapped around her little finger. At any time you will find my dad on his hands and knees to chase her around, my mom creating a lily-mobile out of an old costco box, blankets and pillows to drag her around the house. She's got us all. Driving into work after a night of rain. The valley is clear, you can see as far as the eye can see, its really beautiful. Mountains. This summer I was fortunate enough to spend some time in Oregon and Northern California, for a girl who has lived in Arizona all her life, I didn't know I was missing out on so much beauty in the mountains. Clouds. I have a weird obsession with them. They are just so beautiful. once again, my Kindle. She is awesome. Spending time with old friends. Fills my heart up. Cleaning and Organizing. as much as I don't like the actual act of it, the end result is glorious. 30% off codes to my favorite store. love frannies! Secrets. I am soo bad at keeping them, but I love them! I have two secret I have to keep right now! eeeee! San Diego. I love being there and I can not believe I am moving there! insert big bag of mixed emotions here. Bon Iver. saw them and it was uh-mazing. and of course, I love love.

Friday Links I love:*
I thought this article on one of my favorite sites was good, I mean really good.

Another place I want to add to my growing travel list. Salzburg, Austria. Yes Please!

I have found a few quotes I really enjoyed this week: Here is one of them. Do you believe?

Yummmmm.... Definitely want to try this out!

Because I have a new love... What books are must reads??

*Sorry this was a weak attempt to a Frinks update...

What do you hoard?

2011-09-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

Eeeep! Well, this week has been beyond crazy for me. With my move getting closer and closer (27 days, if someone were to be counting) my time seems to be stretched in a million different directions. I really wish I could add more hours and days to these next few weeks. Try to soak them all up, get everything done, and spend time with all those near and dear.

But I am trying to use it wisely. I have been able to get together with an array of different friends these last few weeks for dinners, coffee dates, froyo catch up sessions, which has filled my heart up. I realize when I move, I will not have old friends from high school to just go catch up with. Or friends from college to dream with. I don't want to take for granted these next few weeks I have with those people in my life.

I move out of my apartment next weekend, which is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I love my little place. It has been the first apartment that has felt like a home to me, and its been my home. It also, could be the last time I ever live by myself. I truly value the alone time and my own space which makes it even harder to think I will be losing that.

I used this analogy about packing up my apartment with my best friend last night, I feel like I am writing a paper. I know when it is due, and I can either wait until the last minute and stress out to get it done, or take my time weeks before so it is ready when its due. Well, I took the first approach to cleaning out my apartment and I am feeling really overwhelmed by it all. I know it will all get done by next week because it has to but it just is a lot to take on.

It got me thinking, do we all have a little hoarder inside of us? Thankfully most of us can control it and manage it. I couldn't imagine the feelings of someone who truly struggles with being a Hoarder. Which seriously breaks my heart. I spent hours cleaning out the boxes that were under my bed. It felt pointless because at first glance nothing had changed. I don't even see those boxes on a monthly basis basically I moved them from one apartment to the next for the last six years, yet they were full of years and years of my life, in 8 menacing boxes.

It was the sentimental stuff, so here came the long walk down memory lane. What are you supposed to do with all the cards, pictures and knick knacks you've collected throughout the years? Do they really hold any significant value other than providing nostalgia later on in life? Do you take those boxes full of your yester years with you from place to place adding to them at each new home, friend, significant other? Do you carry your past around covered in dust because you never look back at it, but you want it there in case you want too?

I decided, no... there isn't any value to them. I am guilty of spending too much time thinking back. I don't really need all these little reminders to actually look back through it all. So I decided, it needed to go. It wasn't coming with me on this next adventure in life. Only the necessities, only the things and people who really matter can come along on this journey. So, I took the approach that if it wasn't someone I care deeply about and still see in my life it wasn't getting a special spot under my dreaming place. I spent my time, going through each card some dating back to 2001, looking through each picture, trying to remember where this or that knick knack came from. I did find a little red lady bug my Nanny painted for me. and it made it into my box.

The end result: while I hung out with the New Girl, got a little Revenge, got caught up on current events, then complained with Frank and Marie and reminisced over a beer with Charlie, I condensed my 8 different boxes under my bed to just one box! And it feels good. Real good. I felt guilty for getting rid of things people wrote me, memories of that random french fry picture that was so important at the time but now I have no idea why I would take a picture of it, or that teddy bear I had to hold on to but now I can't remember who gave it to be. Ok I didn't really feel bad getting rid of those disposable pictures that meant nothing and I had to have doubles of as a kid.

I had to get rid of the old clutter, to let the new clutter in! It really is a never ending cycle, and I am sure I will do this more times than I care to know in the rest of my life. But, I am happy with the one box I kept that has pictures from my childhood, the few knick knacks I couldn't let go of, Mom, I save my D.A.R.E. certificate from 6th grade for you, my favorite ballerina book from when I started dance. I kept the things that really meant something to me, I am giving myself one box of my past to drag around with me, because I have boxes and boxes of memories stored up in my heart that really matter.

Worthwhile

2011-09-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

I want that to be me!
credit*

"Either write something worth reading

do something worth writing about."

-Benjamin Franklin

Yes and Yes, has once again got me thinking...

What am I doing that is worthwhile?
What am I doing today, that will make me proud next year?

What is the story I am telling, screaming to the world?

I know for many twenty-somethings, there are BIG dreams out there that seem too far out of reach. You are just wandering around trying to figure out who you are, where you want to be and what you should be doing. Comparing your life to someone who "has it all together", or a more glamorous life than you think you are living.

I want to live with intention. Treat people with love and respect. Constantly be adding to my resume of life, things that make me better. These are just a few questions I want to try to answer and live out differently.

Lots of changes are coming. I can feel the stirring of my heart, and I am beyond excited.

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-09-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

This edition of Flowers on Tuesday is dedicated to a new birthday gift I received.

Dear Kindle,

Where have you been my whole life? I know you were invented in the last few years, so really where have you been during my twenties? You are sleek, cute (Hey, Hot Pink cover!) you travel with ease- in my purse, in my carry-on bag we can always be together. You keep me company when I am lonely. I can wrap my arms around you. You are entertainment, always listen, and keep me busy. I guess I am just saying, thank you for coming into my life. I really enjoy the time we have spent together. Here is to a long journey through the literary world.

xo

Bon Iver

2011-09-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

Just took a quick trip to San Diego
My last one before I move... weird
And had two surprises waiting for me

My sister in law's sister Kelsey came down from Pasadena
And my brother and sister in law surprised me with tickets to see
Bon Iver

I am indifferent to seeing concerts
I love music just like everyone else
but not as much as my siblings do
It moves the soul, it makes me want to dance
I think thats why concerts are so hard for me to go to
I just wanna dance around the aisle

This concert was amazing
All the different instruments, talent
It was a blast and I am so glad I was able to go!
I wish I could find some footage from the concert we went too
just so you could see the nine member band performing together

You should definitely go see Bon Iver if they are in your city!

Frinks I love

2011-09-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Friday Linksto love:
Its a short list. as I am jetting off on an adventure this weekend!

You could be happy:

Did you know your state had a motto? I didn’t… But look at these red, white and blue renditions which one is your state?

Loved this! Don’t waste the wait

Maybe if we eat chili, wear sweaters, and drink hot cocoa-fall will just join us! can't wait to try this recipe and the corn casserole!

Just because i love this girl!

Happy weekend loves.

Remember always choose love

Things I love: Thursday

2011-09-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

Things I love: Thursday

Lily says 'wuv, wuv, wuv' and her auntie melts everytime I hear her! My favorite motto, coming out of my favorite little girl! Diamond earrings for a 25th Birthday Celebration! They (my parents) went to Jared's... they went to Jared's?! Getting a cold Ok, I don't love this but I got to lay in bed and read and sleep! Having happy hour with my girls Only five more weeks of these One word... KINDLE... who knew this thing would be soooo amazing! I am downloading books like crazy! Lillies- stargazers to be exact Best. Flowers. Ever. SONIC runs. If you know the Klingaman's, you know we love SONIC! Sending out cards. I love cards. I am thankful for all the blessings in my life. ohh and I love love!

Ohh.. Why not!?

2011-09-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

So I have a secret...
It might be weird, but I love to read and find new blogs
And a lot of the blogs I read, and find are Mommy Blogs.
I am no where near being a mommy
But I enjoy reading them nonetheless...

I found this little survey on one of my go-to blogs
She is beautiful, whimsical, her photography is superb
She is a fellow redhead, and her name is Katie
Maybe she is me in the future... no, no but she does seem like such a delight!

So here are some of the ABCs about Me:

A. Age: Officially, Twenty Five!
B. Bed size: Queen, and I try to take up the whole thing when I sleep
C. Chore that you hate: dishes, I absolutely loathe unloading the dishwasher
D. Dogs: I have never had a dog (insert sympathy noises here)
E. Essential start to your day: coffee with the morning weather report... though it never changes in AZ- hot, hotter, hottest
F. Favorite color: favorite color is green. but favorite color to wear is coral and turquoise
G. Gold or Silver: Silver is my go to metal, though the gold around my new diamond earrings is pretty!
H. Height: 5'4" on a good day
I. Instruments you play: I played the piano and clarinet when I was little- I wish I would have stuck with piano
J. Job title: Office administrative assistant
K. Kids: Don't have any at this time, but I can't wait to be a momma
L. Live: Middle of a Desert for five more weeks... then Sunny Southern Cali!
M. Mother’s name: Beverly Bee <3
N. Nicknames: so many nicknames Bug, Biffle, Bif, Katie, Poopie, Sister, K... the list could go on and on
O. Overnight hospital stays: I had to stay the night when I had an emergency appendectomy in February
P. Pet peeves: hmmm... people who don't use blinkers, the noise the bathroom fan makes, and people who always have to be right, or always correct people.
Q. Quote from a movie: "Bark twice if you are in Milwaukee", "Baxter, you know I don't speak spanish" "I love lamp." basically anything Anchorman, or "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her"- Notting Hill.
R. Right or left handed: righty tighty
S. Siblings: Sissy and Bubba, both older
U. Underwear: do I have too? 7 for $25 at VS pretty much rules except that they need to have more S on order
V. Vegetable you hate: raw broccoli is at the top of my 'Vegetables I hate to eat list'
W. What makes you run late: sleep usually or other people. I try really hard to always be on time!
X. X-Rays you’ve had: I have had MRIs on my head for headaches, on my abdomen for my appendix, and a quad accident I was in
Y. Yummy food that you make: I make some mean mac n cheese casserole, mahi mahi tacos, and burritos... or so I have been told!
Z. Zoo animal: I am not really an animal person... is that wrong?

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-09-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

Last week I was celebrated for my birthday all. week. long!
It was really special, and my mom did it all!
She is wonderful at loving people how they feel loved the most
I could not be more blessed by the parents, family and friends that I have!
I hope I have inherited the skills in making other people feel special

And it rain today! But, I am sick with a cold
I am the biggest baby when I don't feel well...

This is a short one, but I am beyond grateful for the special time I had with my family and friends for this birthday celebration!

As my time winds down here in Arizona, it gets harder and harder to believe I am about to make a really big change in my life.
But I am excited. terrified. but excited!

Everyone remembers

2011-09-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone remembers that morning.
No matter how many years will come and go
That morning, will always be like it was yesterday.

It has been 10 years
And I remember it like it was yesterday.

Everyone has a story, everyone has some kind of connection
Some people only reflect on this world altering event when September rolls around
Some people wake up everyday with its scars
Some people will never be the same because of it
No one is the same because of it...

This last week, with the ten year memorial coming people's stories are getting heard.
I want to remember, life is bigger than the small everyday inconveniences of life
These stories remind me to be grateful for life. remind me to be thankful for friends and family. and that the true small things matter

These are just a handful I came across, so many more voices to be heard.

So many amazing stories that come from such a tragedy.
Unmeasured Strength.

Story Corps- They would like to tell one story for every person lost in the 9/11 Terror Attacks.
Here are just a few of them:
John and Joe.
She was the one.
Always a Family.

This is a moment in time, we will never forget. My kids will learn about this day and ask me where I was, and I will always remember...

9.10.11

2011-09-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

Random Fact: I say I hate math and numbers, but really I don't. Just hasn't always been my specialty. But I love consecutive numbers, and this year my birthday is 9.10.11! How cool is that for the math nerd inside of me!

Well we all know I love lists.
I have made inspiration lists, adventure lists this last year
This one kind of is the same thing
It is 25 things I want to do when I am 25...

I wanted to make them challenging, but realistic.
Financially possible, but outside my box.
Stimulating, but adventurous and meaningful.
I wanted to make them me, but help develop my passions, likes and desires.

Here are 25 things to do and see when I am 25...
If there is something you'd like to help me with, I would love to have you along for the adventure

Read at least 12 books- one a month
a. Pride and Prejudice, must be one of those.
Move to San Diego
Volunteer at a hospital
Go on a date. by myself.
Invest in a hobby
Go to a NFL game
Run a 5k.
Watch “Gone with the Wind”
Join a small group/book club
Go salsa dancing
Take a day off to go on an adventure
Watch every season of HIMYM
Visit a friend in a different city/or state
Try ‘The Bar Method’ work out
Throw a themed dinner party
Visit the Monterey Aquarium
Write a letter to my former self
Make bread from scratch
Visit the Golden Gate Bridge
Write a business plan for a business idea
Create a new tradition
Learn how to shoot a gun
Try Bikram or Hot Yoga
Come up with a personal Motto
Learn how to sew.

I am going to put it up on the side of my blog so there are always visible and a constant reminder! I hope to tell you about each of them that I accomplish!
Would you want to make a list of things you'd like to do this year? What types of adventures do you want to cross off your list?

Faux Lash

2011-09-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Well, in my earlier post about my Frinks to Love put this lovely gal on there!

Priscilla has been my best friend since we had the loudest voices on the rec field at church camp. Since that moment we have shared our fears, our excitement, heartbreak, love together. We have wrapped ourselves in tin foil, painted our faces with lipstick and covered ourselves head to toe in plaid. We have gotten married (Her and her sweeter than pie Husband did, I was just the third wheel!) Dreamed big Dreams together. We are kindred spirits. God made Priscilla and I unique, but He specifically crossed our paths 10 years ago. Never have we lived in the same city, but our love for the Lord, everything pretty, and each other makes us act like neighbors.

I was her maid of honor at her wedding, just over a year ago.
We plan on growing old with our husbands (I am taking applications fellas), raising our kids, and having each others houses right next door to one another.
We just need to decide which city!

You should check her out over at Faux and learn about Faux Lashes!
If she was here, I would have her do my make- up everyday!
Because that is the beauty of having a best friend who is a talented, beautiful, thoughtful make-up artist!

Love you Prissy! xo

Goodbye, 24.

2011-09-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

Another year has come, and gone

Time goes so much faster when you are ~~an adult~~ aware

Things are a lot harder, faster, more important because of awareness

Though it can cause some heartache, tension, reflecting

I am beyond blessed.
My eyes have been opened to who I am, where I want to be, and how I am getting there.

I am taking my wishes from last year

And changing them to fit who I am now

And what I desire for this year...

Before I blow out my candles

I wanted to let you in on my wishes for Year 24 25

I pray for a hunger to live life to the fullest

I wish for contentment and enjoyment in the simplest things

I want to spend as much time with friends and family

I pray for patience, kindness, understanding, respect and love- from me to others

~~I would love to find someone to love, but its all on God's plan so if its not supposed to happen this year, I can live with that.~~

I desire to grow closer to God by whatever means. To trust His plan for me fully. To have a thankful heart during times of trouble. To remember His grace, mercy and love for me.

I pray for fun memories with new friends, old friends, and family

I wish that I will take advantage of the opportunities I am given

~~I want to find myself in this 24th year of my life~~

I want to continue to find myself, more and more each year.

I would love to be happy. truly happy. realize happiness is a choice.

I want to make extra effort to choose to be happy, even when it is hard.

I pray for health, happiness, and good things for my family, friends and self

I wish for a guarded heart.

I pray for conviction in what is important to me.

I want to let go of things, people, situations I can't control. and be ok.

I crave a confidence in my identity.

I am going to seek out an adventurous year, one that is documented the whole way through.

~~I wish for shoes. lots of shoes~~

~~I want to cross off some items on my Adventures List! Anyone want to help me, let me know!~~

I know there is a list out there I will be crossing items off of!

I pray I can be silent enough to hear God's purpose for my life and seek it out whole heartedly.

I would love to go through this ~~24th~~ year, and be able to look back on it as my best year yet!

Frinks to Love

2011-09-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was jammin' to my song

and typed Frinks, instead of Friday Links to Love

But I like it, so I am keeping it.

That's what we do here

Make up our own words and rules

Well, I missed last weeks links

ps... how fast is time flying by?!

Here are some links you might enjoy this week:

100 Years of Style: what is your favorite decade? Mine is definitely the 40s and 50s

If you could tell your 20-something self anything: I'm not sure I know what I would say but maybe, the best is still to come.

Falling in love: God, draw me closer in whatever way you have too...

Have an beauty question... here is your girl! Love her creativity and her heart.

To love yourself as you are is a miracle: Another letter to a past self. If you could go back and tell yourself anything, during anytime of your life what would you say?

Tried to make these once, definitely didn't turn out like this. maybe i will try this again: Birthday In a Jar

Masterpiece: I have been thinking a lot about how one determines their value, their identity and this was encouraging to hear.

Loans in general have always scared me. But Yiiikes. Something needs to change with student loans. But this has great advice

Cry like an expert: If you know me, you know I cry. I try to control it but this is how God has pieced me together, with a sensitive heart that breaks for others easily and I am not afraid to show my emotions. I don't think it makes me a weaker person, it makes me more compassionate. But here are some tips on crying!

And now that you know how to cry like an expert. test it out on this video. a love like this is what I dream of.

What I Wish...

2011-09-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

*Found this through another friends blog...

This Is What I Wish by Lysa TerKeurst

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:34 (NIV)

For my daughters, for your daughters. For my sons, for your sons.

This is what I wish.

You are young with eyes that spark and speak of innocence. Don’t trade. Don’t trade the pure peace that greets you each morning for a taste of something meant for later. Later, when a person handpicked by God will want nothing more than to protect you. They won’t want from you. They will want for you.

For you.

This is what I wish.

When I was young with eyes that sparked and spoke of innocence, I found myself lured by the pull of a want. A want that welled up from deep within the heart of a girl desperate. For love. For kind words. For that feeling of being wanted, noticed, and told she’s pretty.
I tucked my peace in my pocket feeling so certain it would stay even if I stuck my toes in the current of my want.

I waded out into forbidden waters. Ankle deep the rush felt thrilling. Knee deep I felt old enough, strong enough and a bit annoyed that people I respected didn’t trust me. I knew what I was doing. This didn’t feel dangerous so I reasoned it wasn’t dangerous.
But it was.

I was wrong.

This is what I wish.

That I had listened.

Listened to voices of truth to turn back, run back, get myself out of the current. Resist the pull. Refuse the lie that feelings are to be followed. Feelings are to be brought up on the solid ground of truth. Truth that doesn’t shift. Truth that doesn’t betray.

But I kept walking out further and further. Deeper and deeper. And into a current so strong I didn’t realize how far I’d gone. Until it was too late. Waves of regret, anxiety, and fear swept over me. The one that told me I was pretty was gone.

And so was something else. I shoved my hand into my pocket now empty. I’d been so sure peace would stay. I was wrong. It had slipped away.

Oh if only I’d known even at that point to turn, run back to the truth, get back to solid ground. I would have seen peace had washed up there. When peace slips it always finds its way back to stand hand in hand with truth. Just like I eventually did. But to have never walked away and dipped my toes where they shouldn’t have gone would have prevented years of heartbreak and ocean of tears.

Make that choice now. No matter where you are.

This is what I wish.

Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (NIV)

© 2011 by Lysa TerKeurst.

Things I love: Thursday - Birthday Edition

2011-09-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

Things I am loving this week:

Lily drops everything when this comes on. Her dance is adorable. Going out to lunch with my dad this week for my birthday. BIRTHDAY MONTH! looks like the birthday fairy threw up in my apartment, and I love it! I love birthdays. Snoopy fruit snacks. so yummy. memories from my childhood. Spending time with my friends and family before I move. too sad to even think about it, but makes me happy to keep making memories. Getting my hair did. doesn't look too different but i love it anyways. How very special my mom is. she is literally the very best person I have ever met. i hope i am like her when i am a mother. Did I mention shellac birthday nails?! Pink sparkle nails! My mom snuck into my apartment and decorated it, and left me flowers, and a scavenger hunt every morning. seriously, how did i get so lucky? Having dinner at Sara and the boys house. they have so much energy. I need to learn how to be more kid oriented. Mr. Ez E, Eli (my nephew) is right on target. can't wait for him to be here! Having my sister at work on Thursdays is usually my best day at work. miss the old days of working together all the time. Only 23 more sleeps in my apartment! then my parents and I are roommates for a few weeks. woop woop! oh, and of course... I love love!

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-09-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I got so lucky
And I truly am not biased,
But I have the best mom- ever. hands down.

She is thoughtful, witty, loves with all her heart
and knows how to make people feel so special
She never ceases to amaze me

I have always made a big deal about my birthday
Maybe because I am the baby of the family
Or I just like celebrating birthdays, especially my own
But my mom always finds a way to out do herself from the year before

I came home tonight
And my air conditioner was blowing
I am cheap. I always turn it up HIGH when I leave so I am not paying for it while I am gone.
That was my first clue
I walked passed my kitchen and into my bathroom

My mirror was decorated for "The Birfday Princess"
Then I go into my kitchen
And I have a bouquet of roses and a card!
Which I can't open until tomorrow morning. no cheating.

Thank you Bif, for making me feel so loved and special.
You are amazing.
LYTTMAB.

Stitched together

2011-09-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

credit

Easy

2011-09-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

Country was the background music of my childhood
Sometimes I just get in the mood for a little country

September

2011-09-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

its the best month around.
The weather starts to change
ok not in Arizona, but other places
School starts
Football games take up your friday nights
and Birthdays...

I love birthdays!

Things I love:Thursday

2011-09-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

Lily. I just love her and how fast she is growing. She is getting so big. Meeting friends for coffee and catching up. So proud of you Lauren! Sharing a bottle of wine with my favorite friends. Gonna miss you lots Marisa. Spending the night in bed reading. Switching between Crazy Love and Mockingjay. The month of September. Its my birth month! Getting birthday cupcake glitter on my ring finger nail! yea, I am following the 12 year olds trend and painting one nail different. Be a Spark- Start a Fire. Loving this thought of encouragement. Pasty's Peanut Butter Banana and Jelly pasty... soooo good. Turning in my 30 day notice. I am really doing this. I am really mooooooving. ahhhhhh! I live a blessed life, and I am thankful for all those who invest in me. oh and I love love.

Confession of a Single Girl

2011-08-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

Confessions of a Single Girl: I have been on a reading kick! Its definitely a good thing, I could probably cancel my cable completely and be happy. This summer I have easily read at least 6 books. But I love to read blogs as well as books. Seeing other peoples perspectives. Knowing you are not the only one that feels, thinks, wonders these things. And most of the time, other people can say things way better than you can.

Here are two articles I have stumbled upon as of late that I found helpful, hopeful and true
Create the story you want to be real.

They are the hidden treasures worth a thousand Sparrow’s journey

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-08-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when you need some encouragement, you should try encouraging someone else.
I figured out a few years ago; you have to be a friend to have a friend.
I truly believe if you throw a little love and encouragement out there whether you need it yourself or not
It will come back to you tenfold, if you are genuine about your love and encouragement

I love cards
and who doesn't love getting a card in the mail... nobody, unless its bills- those can stay away.

I have found some really cute 'Thinking of you' cards
which I will send out to friends here and there
but I also like to decorate or write my own cards

Target is a great place to find little packages of cards
Just recently I went and found these fun turquoise and coral colored blank cards
and you can actually go to a website and use templates they have to print your own stuff on the cards!
I will be crafting up some encouragement later this week
Keep your eyes open for some love my friends xo

Any other ideas on sending love and encouragement out into the Universe!?

A girls first love will always be her daddy...

2011-08-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

In honor of my Papa's Birthday last Saturday
I wanted to make a list of the top 10 things he has taught me.

Because, well I love him, A LOT
And I love making lists!
Score

Melissa Jill Photography

Top 10 Things My Daddy Taught Me:

10. Laugh at yourself. My dad is the best at this. He lets us make fun of the little things he does, but he can laugh at himself about it all too. My dad's laugh is infectious. Oh and he is probably the most ticklish person you will ever meet, and we have definitely had some fun times trying to corner him to tickle him! Or when he used to end his texts with ' Luv you big daddy'... he really meant 'Love you big, daddy' we had to talk about that one. Or when I was having a meltdown at work and was crying about how selfless I was being, and dad couldn't keep a straight face so then we just laughed for a good hour together about that one.

9. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. As a teenager I remember driving with my dad with Zig Zigler playing in his truck. Always some kind of motivation talk, some kind of words of wisdom; which as a kid I remember thinking it was so annoying. But I am so much like my dad, and I love that stuff now. He taught me that there is a bigger picture and you can't get so caught up in the small stuff and lose sight on what's really important.

8. You're never too old or busy for Cartoon movies. Or dad daughter dates. Or spending time with loved ones. I remember going on a dad daughter date to see the movie Robots in theaters. Robin Williams is the voice of the main robot. I remember being so excited to see a movie just Dad and I. We sat down next to this cute, lil toe head 6 year old boy with his buttery popcorn pack on his lap and blue slurpee covering his face. I sat next to the lil guy (His babysitter was next to him) and my dad sat on the other side of me. Literally, every time lil blue sticky face kid laughed at something, my dad was laughing at the same thing. They were like kindred spirits with each other. I just remember that day so vividly because it was the day I learned you are never too old to be a kid and enjoy the simple things of life!

Marshmellow Guns we got for Christmas one year. We had a war. It was awesome.

7. Love with all your heart. I have never had to question my fathers love for me, or our family. Everything he does, he does with us in mind. He is not afraid to let his emotions show. He is the rock in our family. When things seem to be falling apart, he is there to pick up all the pieces. He loved me when I was going through my awful teenage girl phase (and still continues to when I revert back...) He loves us without condition. He loves all of us in our own way. He always protects. He always loves.

6. The difference is your choice. Anyone who has met my Dad knows he is different. He is a special kind of man, that I am so blessed to call my dad. I have learned that his reputation, his reaction, his happiness... they are all his choice. It isn't always easy to make the right decision. Its not easy to act with patience to someone who is ~~constantly~~ giving you attitude. He doesn't always wake up on the right side of the comfy bed. But he always CHOOSES to be better. He always chooses to have a good attitude. He always choose to put others before him and have a servant heart. This is definitely where my dad and I differ. This is just plain hard for me, but it is something I strive to do and wish I was more like my dad in this area.

5. Exercise is really important. My dad is a stud. I mean, he can do as many pushups as he is old! And lets just say, he can get a discount for an early bird special! He hikes South Mountain everyday, works outside to tear down palm trees- by himself. He has taught me that you have to take care of your body. And that exercise is important because I think it helps him with #6. He lets out the very little steam he has, and can clear his mind. And let just be honest, he looks good!

4. Work Hard. Play Hard. This kind of correlates with the last one. My dad has the most amazing work ethic ever. He works HARD everyday. Whether he is in the office, or outside pulling weeds around the shop. He does. not. stop. when he gets an idea or a task started. But he knows how to have fun. He does what he likes to do. He has a healthy balance of hard work and fun. I think he needs to have a little more fun though!

Proud Papa

3. Compassion, Honesty, Forgiveness. I have been hearing this one for years. If you have a problem with someone you need to a. go to them with compassion b. you need to be as honest as you possible can be c. you need to be willing to forgive. If you can't do all three of these you are not going to be able to get passed what is going on. You have to have all three parts. Once you do, you can talk to the person and be done with it. I have used this more times than I would admit, and it really does work! I think this is one of the reasons so many people respect my dad.

2. I am Beeeeautiful. I work for my dad, and everyday he tells me how pretty I look. Everyday. And I know he isn't just saying it either, well sometimes he might but he doesn't have too, but he always does. Growing up we had this little saying, he told me "Bug, if a guy ever tells you 'You are Beautiful' tell him... 'My daddy tells me that everyday, tell me something I don't already know!'" This kind of confidence is so important to a young girl growing up, especially through the awkward years, I don't think I knew how much it has impacted my life until now. I am so grateful my dad has always made me feel beautiful.

Honorary mention:I am not spoiled. I am well taken care of. My dad takes care of us.

1. Love the one you are with. gosh I can't even write this one without tears welling up in my eyes. My dad has always had one piece of advice for newly weds or young families: The best thing you can do for your family and your kids is to love their mother. There is NO question my dad loves my mom more everyday. He chooses to love her, but it is easy for him. The way he looks at her, slow dances with her in the kitchen all. the. time. He is her rock. Her lover. Her best friend. The love they have is rare, beautiful and on fire. I have been given the BEST example of the kind of love I desire and deserve. My dad has always put my mother on a pedestal. It is the most beautiful kind of love I can imagine.

Mother's Day 2008

There are tons of other things my dad has taught me: like how to drive, patience, dancing father daughter dances with me at recitals, etc. But these are just a few of the important lessons that I have taken from him and will always cherish. I love my dad so much.

I know I am extremely blessed to have a father like I do. I don't know how I got so lucky but I thank God every time I think of him!

Happy Birthday Papa! Love you Big, Daddy!

Sensitive Heart

2011-08-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

I have always had a very, very, veeeery sensitive heart.
I am the typical, wear your heart on your sleeve, kind of lady
I love to talk about feelings with people
Unless they include my own
I only do that when I want too...

But, I cry.
It just ~~often~~ happens
Happy times
Sad times
while laughing
when I am tired
I see a commercial that tugs at my heart strings (I'm looking at you Nike commercial where the dad comes home to play basketball with his little girl...yea, that easy!)
I see an older person eating dinner alone
Especially when I see someone else crying

It just happens
And I have tried to decide
Is this a weakness?
Does this make me more vulnerable?
Do people take me less seriously because I show my feelings easily?
Will someone love this sensitive and heart wearing sleeve girl?

Credit

But, I saw this today and it tugged on me.
My tears don't make me weak
They let me know I am alive
I feel my emotions, all of them and express them
Some people might not like it, or choose it

But its me.
God blessed me with a
sensitive
loving
big
empathetic
compassionate
feeling
heart
And I like it!

Friday, Friday: Linky Love

2011-08-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

Hope you all had a fabulous week! I am finally feeling myself again. Had to make the choice to be better, not bitter. Though sometimes it is hard! But I am so blessed. Amazing Family. Incredible Friends. New Adventures ahead of me. How can I not look at my life and say, Thank you God for all you do? even for undeserving me!

This week I found some different links you might all love as well!

Enjoy your weekend. Stay safe. Shine Bright!

A man's best friend never leaves his side... so sweet

You all know I love love, but here is just a little reminder

If anyone is currently taking applications for a guy who will swoon you, you should check this guy out!

Sparking some creativity... I definitely have some shoes I could try this with!!

I would have loved to play games with God when I was younger, He has the best imagination #ultimatescifigeek

This is childhood in a bottle! Love it!

I love watching the Foodnetwork Channel and Bobby Flay always has great meals but drinks to go along! Look at the color of it! Would love a dress that color!

I think this salad will be a nice, refreshing treat after this week of 'Excessive Heat Warnings'...boooo!

Happy Friday Friends! Love just because!

Things I love: Thursday

2011-08-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

The sniffing game Lily and I play. She won't remember it when she gets older, but I can't wait to tell her it was 'our thing'. Getting fresh flowers on Tuesday. Very sweet <3. God's grace is pretty remarkable. Spending hours reading about someone's passion that inspires my own. Meeting up with old friends and talking til the place kicks us out. Finishing a good book. Starting another one. I am on a serious book kick right now. Celebrating my Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday Papa! Realizing, I am gonna be ok! More than ok! How to be a love-letter to the Universe. And the O.G. of Things I love:Thursday. Garlic dip from Pita Jungle. Ben Rector- The Beat. and when a heart breaks. Sending out some love. My new red dress. it really is red, and on sale for 18$ in stores! With a new yellow necklace. Laying by the pool. Sweet Home Alabama. Swooooon... I want to have pick at any Tiffany's ring I want... wait, thats just in the movies? Crap. and of course, I love love.

love...twue, love...

2011-08-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

credit*

eeeep! this has to be acceptable stealing... right?

Cereal Dater

2011-08-23T15:22:00.000-07:00

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I hope I get to know you* over our favorite box of cereal.
Breakfast for dinner style.

*whoever you are

Flowers on a Tuesday

2011-08-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Well, this is pretty simple.

I got flowers, on tuesday! <3

Everyone deserves to feel special. be loved. know they are thought of.

This week, let's all spread a little love to a friend
do something thoughtful.
Send a card.
Go out for Froyo and pay.
Leave a fun basket of goodies on a door step.
Call them instead of text.
Just something sweet to pour out some love.

Doesn't have to be flowers, but they sure are nice and smell yummy!

Thanks momma! ;)

Thankful Heart

2011-08-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

Thanking God during a stormy season of life is not the first thing that comes to our minds.
Most of the time, when things go wrong, we run from God
Or blame Him for the troubles in our lives

It's not easy to be thankful
When you lost a loved one
When there is a new diagnosis of cancer in your family
When your heart is broken into pieces
When your dream job doesn't work out

I am not the best at being thankful during hard times
Actually its probably one of the last things I have done, if I did it at all.

Something really spoke to my heart in the book I have been reading lately, Classic Christianity.
So I wanted to share it with you or anyone who is struggling with faith, life, God's will for them...

"The essence of a life of faith is a thankful heart... 1 Thessalonians 5:18 'Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.' Why would God tell us to give thanks in all circumstances, even in bad ones? because giving thanks is a concrete expression of our faith in God- that our lives are in His hands, and that we are trusting Him to fulfill His promise in Romans 8:28 'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.' The result of trusting God with our lives and expressing that faith through giving thanks is a freedom and peace that is supernatural: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7." - Classic Christianity, p 164

It doesn't always make sense
Why God's plans for us
hurt our hearts
cause fear in us
make us turn our backs
but maybe if we truly try to be thankful for all circumstances
we will feel the comfort of the Lord around us.

This part of the book revealed to me,
even though I am hurting, struggling, disappointed or happy, grateful, content
I need to be thankful because God is protecting my heart
He is working all circumstances to the best plan for me.

Good and Bad.

Red, Blonde, Bronde??

2011-08-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

39. Redheads have more fun...

This really is subjective
I had fun as a blonde

I even had fun as a bronde... (Brown/blonde)

But I have really enjoyed life as a redhead... and I just think we have a lot more fun!

Can't wait for more memory making this year!

Love is...

2011-08-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always preserves. Love never fails."

You've hear it a thousand times
in church, at weddings, its the go to verse about love.
It is something that people write in wedding cards,
use as a measure or reminder on how to love.

While reading, Classic Christianity, I saw it in a whole new light.

Have you ever thought about that verse as how God loves us?
I mean, God is Love!

" God is always patient with you. God is always kind to you. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. God is not rude to you, He is not self-seeking. He is never easily angered with you. God keeps no record of your wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects you, always trusts you, always hopes the best for you, always preserves with you. God's love for you never fails."

I will be the first to admit, I want to be a part of a great love story
I am just starting to truly understand, that I have been a part of one.
And I will continue to be in one.

Its a really wonderful thing to realize and believe.

Snapshot of life

2011-08-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

40. The bigger picture is a lot better than you can imagine

Sometimes it is hard to remember the bigger picture
Life is a series of snapshots
It doesn't all come together at the same time
A situation which is really awful, hard, disappointing during one snapshot
Adds to the beauty that is life.

God has a plan
And I am realizing, it is not always easy
It is not going to be perfect
But I want to give him thanks, even for the hard times of life
Because, they are going to make me better, and stronger.

I have learned so much about myself this last year.
I have made bad decisions, I left my heart unguarded, I got fooled at times.
But I am better for all of the snapshots which are adding up to be my beautiful story!

It is hard to remember sometimes
but I hope I always can look at my current snapshot
and know its going to be part of my unique created story

The bigger pictures is better than we can imagine...

Things I love:Thursday.

2011-08-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

Things I love: Thursday

Little Lily blowing kisses. could possibly be the sweetest thing I have ever seen. and I haven't even seen it in person yet! Long talks with my sister. Happy Hour with my girlfriends. Everybody likes a secret. I just hate having to keep fun ones! "Let your past make you better, not bitter." love a good quote. Making a 25 things to do when I am 25 list. inspiration. Little love notes. Having a friend call when they need to tell someone something really important. made me feel really special. Making other friends feel special. My dad. he is the best! My momma. she is wonderful. Getting a shellac attack. think I will go with the Hot Pop Pink next. Trying new restaurants. Seeing old faces. getting new meaning from an old verse. check my next post for this explanation! Getting woken up by my niece dog for cuddles. Being in San Diego. ohhh... and I love, love.

hmph.

2011-08-17T19:54:00.003-07:00

is it better to fake it til you make it
or feel your feelings out?

I don't know, but neither seem to be working.

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-08-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was able to take a trip to San Diego.
Everytime I am there, I feel more and more certain God is leading me there
My mind has been consumed with concerns, thoughts, dreams, uncertainties lately
And when I was there, those things seemed to dissipate.
My mind was less consumed
I was able to relax, and let things be as they are.

While I was there, I had a really wonderful time with my brother and my sister in law.
Life goes normally over there. Don't have to entertain, or always be doing something.
We went to Stone Brewery, its beautiful you must go.
We shared lots of appetizers and had yummy dessert, it tasted of melted fruit roll up and was delish!
I saw old friends while at karaoke night, and had some an amazing time people watching
Met new friends, and had possibly the best worship at Mosaic: San Diego. ever.

Overall, I have been in a funk as of late.
But this trip was a great relief in my week.
I have so much to look forward too
I just need to be patient during this time.

What unexpected goodness happened this week for you? Was it like, getting flowers on tuesday?

Faith.

2011-08-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

Faith is risking what is

for what is yet to be.

It is taking small steps

knowing they lead to bigger ones.

Faith is holding on when you want to let go.

It is letting go when you want to hold on.

Faith is hearing God’s yes

when everything else says no.

It is believing all things are possible

in the midst of impossibilities.

Faith is looking beyond what is

for what is yet to be.

It is seeing the Light in darkness,

the presence of God in all.

credit*

41. There isn't a redo button in life

2011-08-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

credit

41. You only get one chance to live this life, it's too long to be stuck or do things you don't want too...

This lesson is one I am continually learning and realizing.
As simple as it is, I think sometimes we forget we only get this one chance
Why do we put ourselves through misery, thinking this is the best it will get?

Are you stuck in a job you hate? It makes you less than excited to wake up every morning?
Quit! Yes, its risky! Yes it is hard, but you only live this life once!
Stop living a life you don't want.

Have you lived in the same place all your life? Do you want to challenge yourself or make a change?
Move! Yes, its scary. Yes, it is hard but you only live this life once!
Start living a life you want.

Are you in a relationship that doesn't make you happy? Do you know its wrong, but it's easier to stay?
Leave! Yes, it hurts, really really bad, even when you know its the right decisions! Yes, its hard but you only live this life once!
Trust the Lord's plans for your life.

Are you unhappy with your body? Do you feel uncomfortable in your skin?
Change! Yes its easier to complain. Yes its hard to take those steps but you only live this life once!
Start exercising, eating right and take some control of your life.

Do you lack inspiration, motivation, zeal? Do you wonder why everyone else's life is more glamorous, adventurous, wonderful?
Explore! Yes it takes time! Yes, its hard but you only live this life once!
Get out there, and discover your passion and dreams to inspire others to live their life, fully.

Its a cycle.
Feeling.
Awareness.
Action.
Change.
Repeat (but hopefully, in another area of your life you'd like to perk up, don't repeat the same area or you need to go back to the Action step and see how it can evoke the change you need!)

You just have to become aware of the things that are causing you not to fully enjoy this life we have here and now. It is not always an easy decision. Even when you are aware, its hard to change some things. But for me, its really important to follow this cycle, so I can get out of the funk I am in. It takes time, it doesn't always come over night.

But I know for me, it was really important for me to remember, I only live this life once. Its too long to settle, Its too important to not be happy.

And that easy button doesn't always work. But there is not redo button in this game of life.

What changes do you want to make, and how are you going to start living life now?

want to get on my friend...ship

2011-08-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

42. Friendships change... and that's ok!

This could be one of the most important lessons I have learned as an adult.
Its hard when things change, but especially when friendships change.

I am a fixer.
Always have been.
I would rather work on something, than give up
Especially when its a friend I have had for years

This kind of goes with my last lesson,
God places people in our lives when we need them most
That best friend you had in high school might not play the same role in your twenties
The childhood friend you didn't talk to through high school and college may come back and be even more important than they were the first time

Some of the best and easiest friendships are ones that don't have expectations
The one's that create their own rules as they go

I have learned that friendships are always changing
just like most other relationships
and sometimes its hard to let them go, but you don't have too
You just have to accept that they are different now than they were before

Don't put unrealistic expectations on someone or yourself
Don't try to recreate what was already there
Just be who you are, and see how that person now fits into your life

Change is hard, but its ok

awwwh yes...

2011-08-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

credit

Things I love: Thursdays

2011-08-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

credit

These are just a few of the things I have loved this week.

Little Lily hiccups. cutest. noise. ever. Quotes. New books. Hanging out with your two best friends, eating cupcakes, drinking adult beverages and just catching up. Oklahoma State goodies for the whole family. Reading these funny conversations. Dreaming about traveling here, or here or going back here. Watermelon season. Organizing life (yes, please!) and making lists. Impromptu trips to San Diego, for Karaoke night with good friends. Passion Inspiration Living. Positive, encouraging K.Love. been good to have on the background this week. Editing dissertations. Wandering Target. Want to make something fun like this. and of course, I love love.

Stolen Post

2011-08-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

A good friend just put this on her blog
Which neither of us can take credit for.

It is just so beautiful. I wanted to re-post it
so I would always have it to go back too.

This was written by Megan Burton. Thank you for writing this.

There I looked upon the hill and saw the skeleton of a tree. It was dead, barren, lifeless. Full only of sorrow and shame. Where leaves were meant to rustle, silence swallowed hard. In place of fruit, scars ran deep along its hollowed bones. Alive as merely a shadow, it stood abandoned. It had no gardener, no one to tend these scars. No one to speak life into the echoing silence of shame. Its roots searched for life, but found none. Strained and ruined, they too withered and dried. Upon the hill stood a carcass, a remnant of life once tasted, an empty reminder of what was once upon a time.

And so I turned and asked the LORD, “Lord, what good is this tree? Long has it been dead – even longer has its leaves covered the ground rather than its branches. Lord, it stands worthless. It stands without fruit. It stands, forsaken of beauty and withering in shame. It provides no shade, Lord. Its branches shrink with the coming sun. Lord, it has no life. What good are its roots? What good is its seed? It does not satisfy the weary with respite nor fruit.” And again I turned to the LORD and said, “Lord, it has no life.”

And the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, the SAVIOR AND REDEEMER OF ALL THE WORLD, answered me. “Do not be deceived. You behold no leaves, yet. You see no fruit, yet. It satisfies not now, but too eager are you to call my creation worthless. Oh, how long will you look on with eyes of flesh? How long will you look and still fail to see? How long will you strain to listen and continue not to hear? How long will you call out questions and refuse in your heart to understand? Forget what you have seen, Beloved, and hear the truth. All of creation is rooted in me. From my breath, life is restored. It is not dead, O Loved One. Its roots run deep into Living Water. For I have chosen to bring life into this tree, not for the work or effort it has put forth. No, not for any effort on its own, but because I am GOD. I am the LIVING AND BREATHING GOD. And so this tree shall be living and breathing according to My Name. It shall shade the weary. It shall satisfy the hungry with sweet fruit. It shall satisfy for I satisfy – and not only so, but also shall it bring glory to My Name. Beloved, turn your gaze toward the hilltop and see. It is no longer without life, but sustained with life to full.”

And so I looked. Upon that hill, bathed in the warmth and grace of the LORD MY GOD, once dead, broken, without life, full of shame and guilt, choking on rage and withering with bitterness, now stands a tree with life. Sweet and satisfying fruit hangs from its branches. Syrup like honey drips from its bark. What all scorned, considered wasted, dead, without value, hopeless and weak and forgotten, GOD THE FATHER looked upon with love. By grace, the tree stands lacking no good thing. By grace, what once was dead, now is alive. By grace, what was nothing now becomes new. By grace, the broken are redeemed. By grace, the orphaned are made heirs. By grace, we know GOD.

Praise the LORD, the LORD GOD WHO REIGNS forever and ever, Amen

43. Where'd you come from?

2011-08-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

43. God places people in your life when you need them most

Some people it is more obvious than others
Some I am still trying to understand why they were brought into my life

or why they chose to leave...

But I truly believe God places people in our life when we need them most
and here is one specific reason why...

You know when you meet someone, and you just click
and you feel like you have been sisters all your life
That's how I felt with my best friend

We met at the gym, in line for yoga
Actually, someone asked me to introduce them to my sister
This girl I had just met was not my sister, then.
Little did we know, we were going through a similar life situation

Had God not placed her in my life when he did
My perspective and life would be much different
I didn't know it at the time, but God blessed me that day!

There have been a lot of people in my life
Whom I know were placed in my life for a reason
But this one is the best and most obvious example!

It reminds me that God is constantly blessing our lives
In little ways, throughout our days, hard times, and good times
Special times and special people.

Flowers on Tuesday

2011-08-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

Flowers on Tuesday, is a new segment I have been thinking about incorporating.
Awhile ago, I was really excited to start blogging more
but of course, I got caught up in my own life and traveling this summer
oh and applying for jobs!

But, who doesn't love flowers on a tuesday?
This segment is going to be unexpected things that I am thankful for.
Unexpected things that bring a smile to my face
Doing unexpected things for others.

I am not as prepared this week as I would have hoped but there was definitely something unexpected that happened this week, which was like getting flowers on a tuesday.

My brother and his wife came in town for the weekend
We got to swim with the doggies, spend time with our niece, and just laugh together.
It was really nice

and I am going to San Diego this weekend!
Another unexpected treat to my hellacious week.
Going to spend time with my brother and sister in law, spend time with friends and do some karaoking!
Get to know the city I am going to call home in just a couple short months!

xo

What was something unexpected that happened to you this week?

44. If you're Happy and you know it.

2011-08-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

44. You don't always have to be happy, but alway be thankful

We don't always have good days
Somedays are worst than others
Some are better than we could imagine

I just think sometimes, its too hard to pretend to be happy when you aren't
and why pretend to be something you aren't!?
even if its a positive thing.

be what you are.
be you.
if you are sad, be sad.
but always be thankful.

even for the things that make you sad
because things could be worse
and then you can look back at this time, and see the wonderful thing God had in store for you.
you don't always have to be happy.
but always choose to be thankful.

45. Cheesy Motivational Quotes

2011-08-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

45. Those cheesy motivational, encouraging quotes- really do help

As silly, common sense, mundane, obvious some quotes can be
Sometimes they are just what you need to hear

They can provide some laughter, perspective, courage, support
during anytime in someone's life.

A few of my favorite quotes are (as repeated on this blog often):

You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own. - d.m. dellinger

Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. - Christopher Robin

Always Remember Your Brilliance.

46. Get mad, real mad

2011-08-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Lesson 46. Its ok to be mad at God, let him know when you are- He already knows anyways...

Sometimes we want to live in a bunnies and rainbows kind of world
Where nothing goes wrong,
Everything works out always.
I mean, shoot, we always want to live in that kind of world

but, that doesn't exist.
Life happens
It happens everyday
Somedays it goes in a manner which we can be really excited and want this day continue
Somedays, you want to spend the whole day in fetal position under the covers

You don't have to pretend with God
You don't have to act like everything is going fabulously, when its not
You don't have to smile at Him, when all you want to do is cry

He wants you to be real with Him
He wants you to be honest with Him
He wants you to know that it won't always go your way
He has a bigger plan than you can even imagine waiting for you.

So get mad when you need to get mad
Let it out
because He is listening
He is there with open arms
So once you stop kicking and hitting, He can embrace you.

be quiet dear

2011-08-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

with thoughtless and impatient hands

we tangle up the plans the Lord hath wrought

and when we cry in pain, He saith,

"be quite dear, while I untie the knot."

-unknown

Favorites

2011-08-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

I am going to try to be a little more vigilant in posting
Not for you, but for me.
I love writing. I love expressing myself. I love communicating, in all forms.

This is one of my favorite blogs.
I mean, I check it everyday first thing in the morning.
I love all the different quotes
but also, the advice.
There is always a theme, and it always seems on target with what is going on in your own personal life.
It is definitely a fave of mine!

You should check it out so you can be
smarter, prettier and (less) awkwarder!

Falling

2011-08-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

I always fall for ideas
I get sucked up into what it could be
instead of what is right in front of me
instead of what it truly is.

Have you ever come up with an idea of a dress you want?
You build it in your mind, and you go looking for it and can't find it anywhere..
I am pretty sure that happens to me every birthday.

Or have an idea of what your dream job is?
Then you search and search for it, and it is nothing like you imagined.

Worst yet, have you ever had an idea of what your life would be like at a certain time of your life?
And then you get to that time, and life is nothing like what you had hoped for or dreamed of.
You created this idea, that can't really be reached.

Maybe this is all because we think we have more control than we do
Its because its so hard to Trust God's plan since you don't know what it is
These ideas are better than what you are living right now
They seem more fulfilling

I wish the idea of something was harder to fall for
and easier to let go of.

How He Loves

2011-08-06T01:26:00.000-07:00

This song has been on my heart for the last week or so.
I just think it is a beautiful way to see God.

David Crowder Band- How He Loves

Heart Matters

2011-08-06T01:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, it is so hard to follow your heart
especially when it feels like its hurting,
or going against what your heart really wants
But this is when you have to trust the Lord

Lord, I am trusting in your plan.
Your plan is bigger than I can imagine.
I trust that You want only good for me.

His plans are better, more beautiful, stronger, more fulfilling
than any plan I could ever try to pull together. ever ever.

Sometimes that great love story you were trying to create
is really one of those straight to DVD stories
because you were trying to produce it, direct it, edit it, do the costuming and picking the actors in your story.

It doesn't work that way.
I am not in control of this part of my story.
I am learning to truly Trust the Lord's plan for my heart matters...

I have been reading a new book, Classic Christianity by Bob George,
and to be honest, at first my heart was not open to it
it felt too preachy, boastful and a little too macho...
but that is probably how I was reading it.
Earlier this week, I needed some place to feel God
I picked up the book...

I needed the Lord to speak to my heart. I needed my heart to be open to the message.

And the words on the pages began to pop out to me.
Grace. Beloved. Alive. Mercy. Love. Trust Forgiven.
over. and over. and over again.

I am the Lord's beloved.
He chooses me, everytime.
Trust the Lord. really, really trust Him.
He is jealous for me. for ME- even with my sinful nature, being spiritually dead, the mistakes I make on the daily.
He, Creator of all things, is jealous for me...
His mercy and grace are an ocean.
He loves me, always.
He wants to be my main squeeze.

He has forgiven me for the mistakes I can't forgive myself for. and tells me I need to forgive myself, that is no way to live.
He loves me even the parts that I don't think anyone else could love. And if a person can't love those things about me, then they don't deserve to try to love me.
He has made me alive. and He wants me to live a life through Him. which is more satisfying than I can imagine.

Its hard to even try to comprehend, in the smallest amount, how vast God's love is for me, you, us.
Let alone accept his unfaltering, undeserving, unconditional love
Its hard to believe His consistent desire for me to be near Him
His incredibly warm embrace.

But, I am here.
I know I can be loved, because I am His Beloved.

i am my beloved's
and his desire is for
me.
song of solomon 7:10 *

Prayer for the day: Creator of all things beautiful and complicated. I pray I can trust in Your master plan. I will let go of my need to control and my thinking I can do it better. I pray I can always accept Your love, without question because You never question Your love for me.

*Thanks Carley.

Hazy

2011-08-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Thank you Pandora...

Rosi Golan- Hazy

Lost My Voice

2011-07-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

To those of you that actually read this thing
I am sorry I haven't been around.
Not that you rely on this blog for any reason, but I do.
And I am not sure why I have lost my voice
Not literally, just haven't felt the urge to write.

Which to be honest, I don't like that
I don't want to be driven to words by sorrow
I don't want to rely on my thoughts when only times are tough

I am somewhat of a blog addict
I read other blogs everyday
I find them to be inspiring, motivating, maybe even an escape
I love to see what these people are doing, even if I don't know them, or they are thousands of miles away

A lot, A LOT, has been going on in life
No excuse, I had big plans to really start finding a purpose for this blog
And eventually it will come
I just need to find that voice again

One that feels like what I have to say
good, bad, happy or sad
is worth ME hearing

As much as this place is one for me to tell others how I feel
I really want this to be a place for me
A place where I can sort out all the thoughts, dreams, goals
I have for ME.

So I hope to be hearing a lot more from me
on here...

"The secret of Happiness is freedom,and the secret of freedom, courage"- Thucydides

2011-06-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

Happiness. its a choice.
Why is it so hard to choose sometimes?

It means waking up every morning
with a grateful heart, choosing to have a happy attitude
There are so many little things that can chip away at that choice

I am the first to admit, I do not always make the right choice
When it comes to my attitude, tone, willingness
I don't like not having a routine, or not following procedure
I like things the right way- usually my way

But I want to choose to have a better attitude
I want to choose to be helpful not stubborn
I want to choose to be flexible not stuck
I want to always choose happiness even when I really want to shove happiness where it don't shine somedays

I am just itching for something different
Life seems to just be in repeat
Day after Day being the same

There is a lesson in this season of life, I know it
But right now
I will have to make the choice to be happy not content

Arms

2011-06-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Love this summer jam...

Christina Perri- Arms

Tweet Tweet

2011-06-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

Credit

Who has two thumbs,
and just joined Twitter...

This girl!

Still trying to figure it all out.
I was given a suggestion that Twitter can be a really useful "active resource"
in my job search
dreaming
acquiring more knowledge in all different areas
taking over the world... I mean...

Let's see if I have anything interesting to say!

My: Inspiration, To Do, Try New Things, List just to have a list: List

2011-06-19T00:31:00.000-07:00

Credit:Credit

This list is something I made awhile ago. I love lists. I make lists to make lists. These are all different kinds of things. Some of them I might not cross off, but I want to try to always be a better version of myself. I want to continually learn from others. I want to try new things. And sometimes you need some encouragement along the way.

Find blogs, magazines, books that inspire my creativity- write about it, journal, make me time
DIY: make distressed picture frames for a wall piece behind my bed (I have all the frames and paint, just waiting for a free weekend to start my adventure!)
go antique & vintage scavenging
~~travel to a new city~~ : Baker City, OR
DIY: go take pictures of objects around a city, make a collage of pictures that spell out a word
apply to at least 20 jobs a month until I move to San Diego
read books, magazines, blogs on topics that interest me :

Love, Marketing, God, Friendship, Fashion, Food, Makeup, Writing, Living Life, Traveling, Dreams, Blogging

Look into what a "Life Coach" is
Never Settle. Believe in yourself
Encourage others
Email at least one blogger who inspires me and be their friend
~~Find a mentor~~ (I was lucky to find a mentor on the internet through a blog I read!)
"Be a Friend to have a Friend"
Volunteer
send out cards- weekly to friends
Discover and explore things I am passionate about

Breast cancer research, loving others...

spend more time with kids (to be more patient and creative)
Continue to be creative. Use my imagination.
Be Spontaneous
Try something new
Do not plane for two weeks
~~Take a staycation for a weekend~~ - Talking Stick Resort with the Girls for Jenna's grad school celebration
Start a new blog- find a focus for something that will help people
Don't be my worst enemy or critic
Believe in yourself!
Love myself. and others.
Visit Seattle
Write More <3
Find a mantra

"Find your purpose and fling your life out to it. Find a way or make one. Try with all your might. Self-made or never made." Oliver Swett Marden : I'm loving this one right now.

Make a paiting for my apartment
Color outside the box- Don't limit myself with boundaries
Do a DIY project for less than $10
Make myself at least one throw pillow
Learn how to sew
Learn graphic design basics
Try not to follow a routine
Decorate with simple things
Have an old movie marathon:

Casa Blanca
Gone with the wind
Breakfast at Tiffanys, etc...

Find a friend to help do things on the list
Help a friend create their own list (Nicole, I know you love lists!)
Go thrifting more often
Create a new tradition
Practice Yoga
Discover a way to be less stressed
Send a friend a card with my favorite memory of "us" in it
Make my own cards
~~Do a grocery trip and save more than I spend~~ (raspberries and blackberries were on sale, saved 15.04, spend 8.31!)
Create something which makes people feel good
Be open minded
Be happy to help
Get a lot of sleep
Do career interviews

Marketer
Life Coach
Enterprenauer

Buy "Love & Sequins"- How to be a love letter to the world
Stop Talking. Start Doing.
Host a party, make it really pretty and yummy
Be an observer
Slow. Down.
Breathe. Be Patient
Make a difference. be ok when it doesn't happen right away
Dream Big. No idea is too small
Don't set unachievable goals with unrealistic deadlines- All in Good Time
Move to San Diego: ETA October
No Limits
Find a friend to be creative with (Carley Maier, Priscilla Sanchez, Amanda McMillan... I'm talking to you!)
Forge my own path
"Know who you are, to be who you are."
"If Nothing changes, nothing changes."

Well, I guess its time for me to get to work!

Its not true until you put it on facebook...

2011-06-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

I guess if I am really going to do this, I need to say it out loud.

I AM MOVING TO SAN DIEGO!
I already put it on facebook, but this is the next step...
Yup, you read that right. I am making it happen, finally.
I don't have everything figured out,
but I know it will all fall into place.
I trust that the Lord will provide in the journey
He will place people, opportunities, communities and direction.

I am really excited for this new adventure
though, there are a ton of things that could keep me from going
I need to do this.

It could be a stepping stone
maybe even a short term adventure
Whatever it is, I hope you follow me along the way.

xo

Yes, Please!

2011-06-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

love

How can you not just love this?! Soo cute!

47. Travel Pants

2011-06-03T13:48:00.000-07:00

Rule #47... Travel!! It doesn't have to be extravagent, just get away
I am not the world traveler like my friend is
I don't have advice like some well seasoned travelers do
But I sure love to jump on a plane and just go

It clears your mind
You get to escape
Doesn't mean you are running away
But you get to live somewhere that is not your home
There are new restaurants, shopping, outdoor activities, people, daily routine

Last summer I spent a lot of my time traveling
You can read about it here and here and here, just to name a few..
I was in San Francisco, San Jose, San Diego, Oklahoma City, Las Vegas and Arizona in between
It was truly a great time for me to get away
Life had changed a lot, and the constant busy-ness made it easier
And traveling was a great way to see friends and go new places

I really hope to do more international traveling eventually
But there are a lot of places I have not been or want to spend more time in that I want to check off my list...

Boston
Chicago
~~Reno~~ (I took a road trip already this summer and hit a few places I hadn't been, so I can check them off the list!)
Seattle
Portland
Yosemite
~~Boise~~ (Ok, I had never thought about going to Boise, but I was actually there two weeks ago so its fun to check it off my list!)
~~Baker City, OR~~ (Seriously, the most beautiful mountains and sceneary I have ever seen are in Eastern Oregon!)
New Orleans
Washington D.C.
Dallas

I especially love going to places that I can see old friends, meet new friends and make new memories
Here is to another summer of lovely travels
No matter how close or far

Friends, have your couches or extra rooms ready
I am looking for some places to stay
Seriously though, I'm coming to see you!

JJ Heller "Your Hands"

2011-05-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Love this song...

Today is a Love kind of day

2011-05-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

There is no particular reason,
even tequila is not to blame, yesterday was National Tequila Consumption day aka Cinco De Mayo!
For the the pure joy of love today
I just feel it in my heart, my finger tips and toes

I am blessed that I can love
I am better because I chose love
I love to love

Credit... again

"Love grows by giving.
The love we give away is the only love we keep.
The only way to retain love is to give it away.” ~Elbert Hubbard

Love This.

2011-05-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

Credit

I love when I find myself lost in the things other people love...
I don't consider myself really artistic
Though its something I wish I was

Maybe because I tell myself I'm not, I don't try
I have decided this week that we are our own wall
Most the time, we tell ourselves we can't do it, we aren't capable
Though, everyone else out there tells yes, Yes you can!

I want to be better about telling myself
You are more than capable and deserving to find your passions, live your dreams, dream your future.

Body Image

2011-05-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

When I was younger my Dad had a little saying...

He would tell me 'I was beautiful', and he would say

"If a boy ever tells you, 'you're beautiful' look at him and say,
'My daddy tells me that every day, tell me something I don't already know!'"

I remember when I was little, I knew I was 'fuller' than my friends

I had a bigger butt
My legs were never as small
I had an hourglass figure at the age of 8
I mean I had bangs that made me look like I had a mullet
Yes Marisa, I admit it...
I was just bigger...

But it didn't seem to matter then

I loved spending time with my friends

all the different sizes we were

I noticed our differences

But I didn't compare them

or think someone else's feature were superior over the other.

Now I notice and compare

I think about how I wish I had

Those legs

That butt

Smaller hips

Bigger boobs...

When do our issues with body image begin?

Why do they start? Who puts its in our heads?
Media, society, friends, parents, parents friends, something internal?
This sounds like something I would have discussed in my gender communications class or a topic for a sociology paper...

Don't get me wrong...

Its not a constant thing,

and for the most part,

I am happy with my body

But sometimes, dissatisfaction boils up

Confidence, self esteem those things are taught

My parents have done a wonderful job of that.
But, I can't help but compare, knit pick, dream
about what my idea of the perfect body is...

Its tough being a girl
You go to the gym,
to be better
to feel better
to live better
but then you go home and eat chocolate because
that girl has better...
legs
butt
arms
stomach
gym clothes!

I don't know why this has been on my heart the last few days
I have been making better choices
I should feel like my efforts are helping, not making it worse
There is a chance its because the other night I jiggled when I know I shouldn't have
(my butt jiggled when I was brushing my teeth, I know that is not supposed to be a full body exercise!!!!)
or
It might have to do with the bathing suit shopping via victoriasecret dot com

be careful... going to that website has side effects that include and are not limited too

eating a whole bag of milk chocolate covered toffee popcorn from trader joes... enough said.

But it seems to be a hot topic, especially in the last few days with other blogs I read
One inparticular, yes and yes
The other day there was a guest post that resonated with me
I had been particularly hard on myself that day
About all my ~~perfect~~ imperfections

And what I learned was...

When my confidence isn't at its normal level

When I am feeling especially bad about a certain area of my body

I want to remember to appreciate it

Anyone could be someone's idea of 'perfect'

even me...

I may not have the best legs

but my legs get me out of bed everyday, dance the night away with my friends, hike camelback with my best friend.

I may not have perfectly toned arms

but my arms let me hug my family, friends and pick up my niece, they allow me serve others and explore life.

I may not have the most rockin' body

but my body is capable, its beautiful, its mine.

It might not be, or ever be like the Victoria Secret Models

but I want to appreciate my body.

Even on the days I have trouble with my body image

I want to appreciate it for what it is!

48. Sooo you're telling me, I'm not gonna die from this?

2011-05-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

One reason I say that heartbreak is not contagious is because
I thought it was at one point...
When I was heartbroken,
So were three of my other friends.

It was almost like there was a Summertime conspiracy between our then boyfriends
All of us had our hearts broken within three weeks of each other
Ranging from one year- four years of togetherdom.
At the time, I thought maybe it was contagious.

Its not.

Also, contrary to popular belief
It doesn't kill ya... Like that saying, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Its funny when those types of sayings prove to be true

It gets better.
It doesn't hurt for as long as you thought it would
There are even times that you see the light at the end of the tunnel
Then you find someone worth being better for again
There is a reason for all the pain
So you appreciate Love more than you did before

It all depends what you do with the experience.
Are you going to let it bring you down and defeat you?
Or are you going to tell yourself,
This is an opportunity to be better?
This is a chance to live the life you have always wanted?

It hurts. Its not fun.
But its not contagious. Or a terminal illness.

And then, it doesn't hurt. And life is fun again.

Fear has no place in Our Hearts

2011-04-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

Three Years...
Three years ago, our world was turned upside down.

I remember my parents calling my sister and I
Asking us to come over to their house, which normally wouldn't be a big deal
But it was after they were supposed to get the results
They asked both of us to leave work
I knew, what I had prayed for- didn't happen

We walked through the door
Mom and Dad sitting on the edge of the couch,
They stood up to hug us
Which normally wouldn't be a big deal
But there was something different
Everything felt much more delicate

There are just a few words that actually make it through my sobs.
Positive.
Maligant.
We will fight this.
Tears. Tears. Tears. and more Tears.
Breast Cancer.
Tears. Tears. Tears. and more Tears.
Fear has no place in our Hearts.
The Lord is working through us
Tears. Tears. Tears. and more Tears.

That moment, everything surged into perspective.
I remember calling my girlfriend Karalyn
I didn't have to say more than
I need to get my tattoo now
She knew exactly what I meant.
*I never did get the tattoo, granting Momma's wishes*

At that moment, I knew everything was about to change
My Momma and I would just sit on the couch and cry together
We researched. She researched. I cried.
When there is a threat to take away your best friend
There is no much more I could do but cry, and pray.

This experience, I would never wish upon any family
But the saddness is, it affects almost every family in some way
Our family chose to be better because of it
My mom sent out encouraging emails
Tracking her progress, with a sense of ease, strength and confidence
She was still our rock.

Fear has no place in our Hearts.

I became an emergency contact on my Momma's medical records
My dad was there, every.step.of.the.way.
He took her shopping for wigs.
Shaved her cute little cue ball head
Held her. Held all of us.
We went to every chemo treatment
He went to every doctors appointment.

This diagnosis brought our family closer together
And we were close before it happened
There was a reason that our family was going through this
And we were not going to let it be another bad statistic
.
I decided to walk in the Susan G. Komen 3 Day
You walk "60" miles in 3 days
Side note: technically the trail is about 20 miles a day, but you literally walk from 5 am Friday morning to 5 pm Sunday- so it adds up to being more than 60 miles.
I asked my friend Karalyn if she wanted to join
The next day she showed up with her tennis shoes on
and my very own pink camelbak
I knew we were doing this

Soon, my brother joined in
and then my dad
and then, my mom...
She didn't want to feel left out

So two weeks after finishing her last chemo
After having a double mastectomy, months prior
Our family walked over 60 miles in honor of the fight our Momma was fighting
It was definitely one of those experiences in life you don't forget

Sleeping in pink tents
Walking. Walking. and more Walking.
Hearing every word for "boob"- and its not weird or inappropriate
People cheering you on.
Tears. Happy Tears. Sad Tears.
Feeling accomplished to walk every step, next to Our Survivor.

Friends there to cheer us along

"I'm a Boob Man"- thats what his sign said

We Made It! The whole way!

We did the walk in San Diego. Figured if we are walking 60 miles, we might as well get a vacation from it!

Our Sign on our Tent to Thank all the people who donated!

The last years have come and gone
Most of the time, I don't think back on that time
I know it happened, but its gone
Fear has no place in our Hearts.

Thank you Momma for your fight
Thank you Jesus for letting us keep her here with us.
She needs to be here. for a very long time. please!
LYB, Bif. <3

49. Sweet Memories

2011-04-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

First picture I took with my new camera!

Make lots of memories.
Sounds easy enough
But so many times, we just go through our days
normal, ordinary, not thinking about making memores
just hoping to remember them at another time

This last year I have tried to make a point of capturing and making memories
A few things I have done to achieve this are:
-Bought a new camera, a fresh start with something fun
-I write down my days (most days) on my calendar
-Blogging, its helped a lot

Trying something new

Let me explain...
Obviously, you know that a camera captures memories
But I try to not only capture memories of nights out on the town, birthdays, or holidays
I bring my camera out, for just a simple dinner with a best friend
Laying around with my niece
The normal ins and outs of the day, because those memories are the ones that we quickly lose.
I don't want to lose any of the time I spend

On my wall calendar, I just write simple notes to myself
Monday: Kickboxing, Power Sculpt, cooked dinner
Tuesday: BodyPump (ouch!), cooked dinner, skyped with so and so
Wednesday: Dinner with mom and Dad
Etc... (mostly boring stuff)
But I can look back at my calendar from last year
and remember things I wouldn't be able if I hadn't wrote that memory down.

The Original Bug and Lily Bug

Blogging, obviously, is another source to look back on
It seems like with memory, you have to have some kind of record to retain it
Whether it be pictures, notes, or a specific event, situation that sticks out in your mind.
Writing down memories, even small ones helps keep them fresh in your mind.

Vegas during Christmas

There are other things you can do
Make themed nights to go out with friends, for no particular reason
Do something you've never done before
Create a new tradition
Staycations are always a good idea

I want to remember as much of my life as I can
I hope that I can create memories that I can always look back on
Sweet, sweet memories...

Now lets go out and make some memories

Suns Game with Jenna

50. I can write my feelings, does that count?

2011-04-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the AIM generation
AOL Instant Messenger- in case you didn't know!
Remember that noise when you'd receive a message...
It was addicting to say the least

I loved staying up late, really really late
Talking to friends- people I went to school with, met at church camp, went to church with etc...
We would get on right after school and stay on late into the evening
Maybe this is where it all began...

I wrote a post not too long ago about communication
It has always been easier for me to write out my feelings
Rather than talk about them

I default to text. My reason- I am a little needy when it comes to communication (Thanks Momma!) I want to know whats going on with friends and family. And texting, keeps me connected to people all day long. Its easier and more convenient.
I love to send&receive cards. My reason- it is so much fun to open the mail and have a card there for you, someone took their time to write out how they feel about you, something they want you to know. and you can go back and look at it when you need a reminder or some encouragement. It fills my cup up..
I prefer email. My reason- you can be as short and sweet, or long and detailed as you need. It is convenient for the sender and receiver. You have something to reference, and look back on.
My journal&blog are an escape. My reason- everyone needs a little me time. When I am stressed, bored, anxious, happy, sad- I spend my time working out, shopping or writing. But I always feel the most relief when I write. I am able to be completely honest. Again, I can refer back to a certain time and see how I was feeling.

Writing out my feelings has been a really wonderful way to cope with all the different seasons in my life.
It has allowed me to be honest, to be real, and raw with myself, which is the hardest thing to do
I think writing is a tool that is going to help me continue the process of being the best version of myself
But I am going to work on my verbal communication as well, because I know that is really important too!

When I was younger I loved to write poetry, and songs
I always thought I could be a singer/song writer
Until I realized I am a horrible singer, like shouldn't be allowed into karaoke bars to even watch because I might get the urge (after a few adult beverages) and it would just be bad
So I stuck with dancing, which involved music anyways

I am not one of those, Music is my life, kind of people
But music allows me to be creative
It drives me to focus, and sometimes it says everything I can't

Music seems to have all the answers
Is tonight going to be a good night? Black Eyed Peas say Yes!
Should I go to the gym? Soulja Boy says Work it Out!
Who do you think you are? Sara B says, You ain't the King of Anything!
(You get the point...)
Music is like a magic 8 ball, always has some answer for you

Through the different seasons of life
I have learned that writing and music allow me to express myself, fully
Now wouldn't it be nice to have a soundtrack and memoir to your life...

One and Only

2011-04-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

Adele, you've done it again...
Thank you!

51. Time to cry...

2011-04-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a moment, when you realize... you are turning into your mom?
The other day I was pulling out bread options for lunch
Pita bread, sandwich thins, wraps, regular bread
Then there had to be options for what you put on your sandwich
And I just thought, "Lord, I am my mother."

In my case, its a wonderful thing.
There is no one I would rather be, than my mother
She is the strongest person I have ever met
She is beautiful, witty, compassionate, generous, intelligent, nuturing, God-fearing, loving beyond belief
She is caring, funny, open hearted and minded, protective, joyful
My list could go on and on

There are a lot of little characteristics I notice (daily) that come from my momma
One of those things, is my crying place
Growing up, when I didn't feel good, mom let me shower
It has always made me feel better
Even now when I don't feel well, I am stressed, I am overwhelmed, or I need a good cry- just to name a few
You can find me in the shower.

I didn't find out until much later,
That my momma did this too.
I never really saw my mom cry when I was younger
She was always the strong one,
Not until she was diagnosed, did she let us be the strong ones for her
Which was still hard for her

But it is the number one place to cry
Because when you get out,
You don't know if you are wiping away tears or just water from the shower
No one has to know that's what you were doing
It gives you alone time with your thoughts

This is why I think the shower is the number one place to cry
Thanks for sharing it with me, Momma<3

Confessions of a Single Girl

2011-04-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

Confessions of a Single Girl: If you know a great photographer, who is willing to go out and get some practice, take them up on it! Girls just want to have fun! Get dressed up! Curl your hair! Put on fun makeup! Go out and be creative! It is good for the spirit, I promise!

When you have a very talented sister, who is a photographer,
sometimes you just want to have fun together!

My sister entertained my idea for another little photo shoot,
Last year we took photos for my graduation
This year we took them for fun-
Maybe just for some proof of progression of the last year...

*All of these photo's are copyrighted by Heather Rae Photography!*

Need your pictures taken? You should contact my sister!

52. 'The Right Decision"

2011-04-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday

And other times its a distant memory
Someone else making the "Right" decision, you never had the strength to make

That crushing feeling, you know the one, when you hear those words
You lose all feeling in your legs, your heart starts to race
You try to think back, had you done something wrong?
What did they want to talk about?

You thought everything was going fine.
Yea, there were those little things you both never seemed to get over
And the things you never seemed to make him happy with
But those things wouldn't be worth giving up on everything you had...

Then all the wind is knocked out of you
You can't tell your days apart
You hadn't moved from "crying" position in who knows how long
Everywhere you turn, every place you go there they are
The memories that once brightened your days
Now hang over you like a rain cloud you will never escape

But there are thoughts, every so often, that pull you back to the surface
You have been drowning in your own tears, fears, frustrations, devastations, sadness, confusion
You have been sinking to the bottom with a "How do I go on?" weight,
Pulling you further and further down
Then there is a tiny life saver

A friend calling to check on you
That spot in your bed beckoning you to stay a little longer
Your mom holding you like when you were little
Your dad telling you he would do anything to fix this feeling
The empty journal, you've been neglecting all this time
The thoughts: as much as this hurts
As much as I hate this
There is something that ~~strangely feels right~~

These feelings are natural, after so much of you had been defined by something else
These emotions, feelings hold on tight
They make you think the wrong decision is right
Because if this is the right decision, why does it hurt so badly?

This year I have learned you will feel this way with heartache
Even when it is Right, it does not mean Easy.
Sometimes it is even harder to stand up for what you want
Than to make the wrong decision to stay comfortable

It all gets better.
There are days where the breaking stops
You can breathe normally, and tears don't fall as often.
Then there are days when you smile, really smile again.
It doesn't always stay that way
It might take time for the Right decision to feel right

There will be sunshine again
Warm memories that you create as you find yourself
It all takes time
And you deserve that time

Don't let the experiences of the past close your opportunities of the future
Don't make someone else pay for the scars of your past
There will be a Right decision that is Easy for you
But deep down inside, your heart knows
Follow your heart, it knows the way...

Just a thought...

2011-04-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

So I wrote my post about the 52 lessons I have learned in the last 52 weeks
It got me thinking...
Maybe I will write a post for every lesson I wrote about
You may learn something new about me
Or the situation I have been through
Even help yourself out with something

I am going to try to be as honest as possible
but know that I am moving forward
and this year has good things in store for me

I will continue to learn new lessons in life
I don't ever want to stop learning, loving or living
But I know that my past does not define me, but it got me where I am at.

I don't know my future,
But I sure know my past
I will use it to be better
and live a better story while it lasts...

Fifty Two...

2011-04-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

52 Lessons I have learned in the last 52 weeks...

52. The "Right" decision is not always an easy decision
51. The shower is the number one place to cry
50. Writing is just one way to cope with feelings, music is another
49. Make lots of memories
48. Heartbreak is not contagious- and contrary to popular belief, its not a terminal illness either
47. Travel, doesn't have to be extravagent, just get away
46. Its ok to be mad at God, let Him know when you are- He already knows...
45. Those cheesy motivational, encouraging quotes- really do help
44. You don't have to be happy, but always be thankful
43. God places people in your life when you need them most
42. Friendships change... and that is ok!
41. You only get one chance to live this life, its too long to be stuck or do things you don't want too...
40. The bigger picture is a lot better than you can imagine.
39. Redheads have more fun!
38. Its true when they say "Sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone"
37. The first meal you should cook a man is popcorn :)
36. Too much tequila is always a bad idea...
35. There is always a reason to shop: you're sad, happy, stressed, bored, excited, broke... you get the picture
34. Splurge on yourself, you deserve it!
33. If a guy tells you his name means "storyteller"- that should be your first sign to walk away
32. Being an Aunt is the BEST thing in the world!
31. "Friends are angels who lift us up to our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly."
30. Let your guard down and LOVE... the worse that can happen is you miss an opportunity to grow
29. Always schedule Girls Nights in pen on your calendar, you deserve that time!
28. You will smile again, even when you thought you wouldn't
27. What once was the worst thing to happen in your life, might be the best thing- God is working upstream in your life, you don't always see the reason for the pain until much later
26. "I am just a tree in a story about a forest"- Donald Miller, A million miles in a thousand years
25. Shellac manicures are addicting
24. A man should ALWAYS open your doors, and you should always say Thank You
23. When you are heartbroken, common sense is not always common
22. God has a plan, just need to have faith that His works better than mine
21. His plan will ALWAYS work better than mine
20. It truly is better to have loved and lost, than never love
19. Blogging is a great way to look back and see where you've been and write where you are going
18. Dream. Big.
17. Start living your better story when you decide you need too
16. Graduating college is scarier than you think it would be
15. Hope is Faith on Fire
14. When you walk into a room, see everyone as friends you haven't met yet
13. Mom is always right, Dad can make anything alright
12. Be active. Stay Happy.
11. High Heels do wonders for your self esteem
10. "Every flower that blooms has to go through a whole lot of dirt."
9. Be Patient. There is no time line. and don't freak out when you don't know where you are going, you are heading somewhere even when you think you are standing still
8. Be a friend, when you need a friend. "We all need someone who gives us the courage to be who we're meant to be."
7. "It costs nothing to dream, and everything not too."
6. Tell those you love, you love them as often as possible
5. Try something new as often as you can.
4. Being single isn't half that bad.
3. Don't let fear in, let Love in.
2. "Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest, its about who came and never left your side." <3
1. That Love you have been looking for, its God...

and one for good luck- Always Love.

I probably could have put more thought into these, but they were the first things to come to my mind. I have learned a lot, and changed a lot during this last year... A lot of the changes have been documented on this blog, and a lot of them have been internal but overall, I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I have learned this last year...

Practically Perfect

2011-04-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

"You are practically perfect in everyway."
- Mary Poppins

*I found this on: Yes and Yes -a blog I stumbled upon*

Don't let anyone, or anything make you feel differently!

We all have faults, but you were unqiuely made,

special design just for you!

Shine Bright!

210 Days of Summer

2011-04-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

The heat has rolled in for the Summer,
though we celebrated the first day of Spring a few weeks ago.

Summer is my favorite season, not necessarily in Arizona
I love the sunshine that rises early in the morning and gives you longer days to play outside.

With summer on my mind, I thought I would share a few of my favorite things about summer...

Cold watermelon
Laying in the sun
Sun kissed skin
Fresh lemonade
Water parks
Summer Movies
Road trips
Iced coffee in the mornings
Sleeping on cold sheets
Pool days with friends, and margaritas
Trips to California to visit friends
Summer Dresses (or summer wardrobe in general)
Freckles
Shaved Ice

I just love the summertime and all the fun things it brings! Just not the heat!

hmmm... maybe relocating will help with the heat...

A Dreamers Dream

2011-04-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream."- Vincent Van Gogh

I wasn't blessed as one of those people who know exactly what they want to do with their lives.
I didn't grow up dreaming of being a Olympic Gold Medalist, never had the drive to be the youngest person to become a doctor, shoot, most the time I can't even remember the dreams I had the night before!

Part of me has always wondered if having such a clear cut goal in life makes it any easier...
Or does it mean I'm not a dreamer because I don't have this big dream or goal

My mom always tells this one story of me when we talk about growing up, and I think it stands pretty true
One day my mom asked me "Bug, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
After careful thought and consideration I replied with...
"You know mom, somedays I want to save the world, and other days I just want to be a supermodel."
Ha!
But its true, I don't know what I want to do when I grow up.
I feel like I should have it all figured out
So I am figuring out life is a process
Even though, some people are blessed with knowing what they want to do and they do it.
I am still learning,
But that doesn't mean I am not a dreamer.

My dreams are just different

Communication

2011-04-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I have been having an issue articulating my thoughts.
It seems as if, when the thoughts start their journey from my brain to my mouth
They get lost, jumbled, confused

Usually, when they journey from my brain to my hands
They come together much easier, articulate and precise.
Writing is my way of communicating

You can't use a delete button on your words,
You can't take back anything that came out of your mouth
Scribbling down my thoughts, feelings, dreams, frustrations, the words I want to say
comes so much easier to me.

I went to an event called the Yelo Experience
It was about finding what your strengths are
What I took away from it was- most of the time, the focus is on our weaknesses
What it is that we need to work on, which isn't a bad thing to work on
But what about the things you are good at?
Why not capitalize on the strengths you already have?
Continually using your strengths will only make you stronger in that area, and thats always a good thing.

My strengths were: (I promise to go over in a little more detail what these mean but its late, and I'm tired, I just needed to get this blog off my mind...)
Includer
Communication
Positivity
Strategic
WOO (Winning others over)

At the event, they asked us to pick one of our strengths to work on, to build on and utilize more...
I chose, Communication...

I know I love to talk, I can write my feelings like none other
But I know I am not always the best at communicating my feelings, thoughts, wants, plans, desires with words, directly from my mouth...

I want to work on this strength. I know it is there, I just need to break down some walls, fears that I have associated with communicating.

slowly but surely...

The Civil Wars - I've Got This Friend

2011-03-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

this may be my new summer jam. windows down (for the next three weeks, at least) wind in my hair sounds perfect...

What kind of heart doesn't look back...

2011-03-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

I was thinking back to some of my old posts that I have written...
Its been almost a year since I really started using this blog as an emotional outlet.
This has been a blessing and a curse...

Blessing because, I would go crazy if I had to keep all of these emotions inside.
Curse because, I can look back and see how crazy I have been during this process.
Blessing because, I can look back at the feelings I was having and hopefully it has helped someone else.

But there was one post that I did, about 8 months ago that is still one of my favorites
I am thinking I might go through and tag all my favorite posts that were either really helpful to write or just ones that I like to look back on.

I think this one in particular is my favorite because its my heart.
I was being completely and utterly honest
but, genuinely hopeful.
Love is my favorite thing...
and this post is my kind of love

There is not a lot I can control in life,
but these are things I can...
I am sure I could add on to this list, but its a pretty good start!

To make it easier, I will repost it here! :)
7.29.2010

Differently now...

I'm done asking myself, what could I have done differently?
Truth is... I couldn't have done anything more than I already did.
We always knew the outcome.
I did everything I could.
I tried. I tried so hard.
I loved. I loved so hard.
I wasn't perfect. but I was me.

I am going to ask now, what will I do differently now?
Truth is... I don't know what my outcome will be, but I do know somethings.
For whoever you are.. These are a few of my promises to you

I will always be honest. with myself. and you
I will love. fully. purely. genuinely. always.
I will try. but not push myself passed levels of comfort.
I will heal. to love you better. so I am better for you.
I will not compromise passed those same levels of comfort.
I will sit back and relax.
I will watch sportscenter and espn with you.
I will laugh with you. hard. stomach-ache hard.
I will lay in bed and not plan so much.
I will appreciate. and communicate the appreciation.
I will communicate. to the best of my ability.
I will listen. not talk. just listen.
I will always trust.
I will not hold myself back.
I will kiss you in the rain. every chance I get.
I will dream. BIG DREAMS.
I will support. encourage. believe. hope.
I will cuddle. snuggle. kiss. hug.
I will walk beside my love. not ahead. not behind. but beside.
I will discuss ideas. thoughts. theories. days. moods. anything.
I will love. unconditionally. for exactly who you are.
I will cook. good meals. bad meals. cookies. and cake.
I will be everything for you. but I won't do anything to be that.
I will do little surprises.
I will make you feel special. everyday.
I will remember the little things.
I will love. the biggest love I have. because I am good at it.
I will hold your hand. anytime you want me too.
I will be me.
I will build a life. home. legacy with you.
I will continue to grow by being curious. open. willing.
I will live. everyday.
I will go on adventures.
I will make more memories. documenting them as we go.
I will not keep track of right or wrong.
I will try to not be so stubborn. or prideful.
I will always be right. but when I am wrong I will tell you, you are right.
I will love you how you need to be loved.
I will complain. probably a lot.
I will wear my cute aprons to cook for you.
I will sing our favorite songs. loud in the car.
I will be silly with you.
I will always want you with me. always.
I will have movie marathons with you.
I will travel with you. anywhere you want to go.
I will talk to you about everything. and anything.
I will wear high heels. and get dressed up for no reason.
I will take you on dates.
I will slow dance with you. in candle light. in our kitchen.
I will not be scared when I am with you.
I will be proud of the man you are.
I will want to make babies with you. after we are married of course.
I will be the best. for myself first. and then for you.
I will always compliment you.
I will watch the movies you want to watch. after we watch the ones I want to watch.
I will show interest in your family. your friends. your hobbies.
I will grow old with you. and I will love every wrinkle.
I will choose you. always.
I will love you. always and for forever.

Shine Bright

2011-03-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- Marianne Williamson (co-leader of the United States Department of Peace movement)